uediuosi

uediuosi asked:

i'm kind of a shy person, so i usually dont send people asks, but since you said that anyone could message you anytime i decided that i want you to know i will never find a jily fanfic better than yours! the whay you describe lily and james is just perfect, you wrote them exactly how i always imagined them. i also love marlene and alice in All Right Evans, that's my favorite fanfic forever. oh, and your blog is just as good as your fics <3

See, it’s readers like you who make me feel like I really should finish up my fanfic projects.

But then I look at those projects and recall my own personal disgust with them - like now I know how Doyle must’ve felt about Sherlock, that is how deep the hatred cuts.

I’ll figure something out eventually, though. Because, as always, readers like you have my undying love and appreciation.

uediuosi asked:

but why? dont you like your fanfics? i didn't start reading Dangerous Crowds because i knew it would be too amazing and i would get too sad once it is not being updated anymore, so i dont know anything about it, but in ARE things seemed to be doing so fine. Something happened? have your readers disappointed you?

No, I assure you, it has nothing to do with my readers at all. Granted, I do get put-off when people act like I *owe* them, but that wouldn’t stop me from continuing. For the most part my readers have been nothing less than encouraging and supportive, in both my fanfic and real life.

My basic problem is the content of my fics. Like, okay, for starters: Why all the romance? Obviously there’s Lily/James, but the rest of it? Superfluous. I don’t believe that romantic love is as important or crucial as I suggest in my fics. And… Sirius/Marlene? Remus/Dorcas? What. Why. (Well, because I fell victim to Jily fic tropes, that’s why, but still.) (Also because I was still struggling with my asexuality, and thought maybe I was wrong about it, so I kicked the romance into high gear as a sort of test that, frankly, was just plain stupid.)

I also perpetuate girl hate and my canon is off by a mile - even my own headcanons are off. Everybody’s straight and white. My prose quite often drags. And really, real sex just isn’t how I portray it. (Not to mention, as a twenty-five-year-old person, I’ve become rather uncomfortable writing smut between teenagers.)

There’s more - I’m sure of it - but this is a pretty succinct summary.

At some point I will likely revisit the ARE universe, and I’ll probably scrap it and start anew. Much of the basic story will remain, but to make all the changes I feel are necessary, it’s going to take a nice big rewrite. I really just can’t see myself happy going on in the way I have been, and if I’m not happy, I’m sorry, I just cannot prolong that in order to finish a project that I don’t feel is worthwhile.

If I do any fic in the near future (and I probably will, considering some of what’s been rolling around in my head lately), it will concentrate on the Black family during the First Wizarding War. Sirius, Regulus, Bellatrix, Andromeda, Narcissa… all that. It’s more true to my interests.

Rest assured, I will have SOMETHING for you guys just as soon as possible. I also have to keep my original manuscript in mind and at the top of my priorities, and all this will be much much easier when I have access to a fully functional laptop, but the writing will continue just as best as it can. Promise.

8)