It wasn’t her fault.

She’d gotten shots before. Lots of them. They’d never bothered her. Orochimaru-sensei had always been taking her blood and injecting her with stuff too and she hadn’t expected a routine vaccination before a mission—the first one the village was willing to let her take part in since Shimura-sensei had taken her in—to be any different.

She didn’t know what’d happened, exactly, just that she’d seen the needle and kinda completely freaked out. She was pretty sure she remembered kicking somebody, and biting somebody else, and then she’d been running. One of the medics had chased after her but she was fast and lost the guy as soon as she got outside, dodging into the streets and disappearing among the people there just like she’d learned how to do after Mom died.

The panicky feeling was a lot harder to shake, though, and she was completely winded by the time she got to Shimura-sensei’s house. She let herself in, terrified of the medics finding her if she stayed outside long enough for him to come to the door. Turned out he wasn’t even there anyway, but his house still felt like him and it helped her calm down enough to breathe right again. Still, she couldn’t seem to stop shaking; she ended up hiding in his study, huddled under his desk where the light didn’t really reach, focused on regulating her breathing and chakra signature just in case the medics really did come looking.

Trypanophonic. Help? Valium? Does it work?

I went to the gynecologist a month back to get a prescription for birth control. Not because I plan on ever having sex, but because my periods don’t seem to understand that they’re not supposed to hurt me. Anyways… They asked me if I had gotten that lousy-ass gardasil shot.

I have been putting that stupid injection off for… Hmm… Six years now? My doctor keeps telling me about it’s importance but I say FUCK THAT. Besides. Why would they want to bother? It takes 3 to 6 nurses to hold me down.

Anyways, my mom did research and guess what? I get to go back to the gyneo to get a shot. And you know what makes this story EVEN FUCKING BETTER? If I don’t like it the first time, I get to do it again… And again… and again! I’m so fucking excited guys. Just… I’M PUMPED. WOO.

Okay enough fucking sarcasm. Back to the point.

I have Trypanophobia. Needles freak me out to the point that when they’re introduced… I don’t even feel like myself. Some other person takes over and will literally hit, kick, and scream whenever I just hear the WORD injection. My parents tell me to just GET OVER IT. But I can’t. It’s a psychological thing. I mean, I know it won’t hurt THAT bad. I’ve had eight needles in total shoved through my ears and nose and I’ve never had an issue with it. But… Injections… Whole different story. I don’t know why but it fucking sucks, guys. Really fucking sucks.

On the bright side, that doctor did prescribe me one Valium of some sort. Have any of you guys ever tried taking it before an injection? Does it work? I can’t see how it’ll work so… I’m thinking about calling them up and cancelling… As stupid as I probably am…. I don’t care. I really… I just REALLY don’t want to do this. I don’t even WANT to have sex. I don’t even WANT to get married for fucks sake. Just kill me now, okay?