So I'm behind already..
Yeah…I made a New Year’s resolution to produce 10,000 words a month, and this is my first post of the new year. But I’m not going to beat myself up over it…the point is that I want to get the writing juices flowing again. I maintained a blog for about two years over in the graveyard that blogspot used to be, and lately I’ve been missing it.
So I’m going to start writing here….I have no idea who will read this at this point (if anybody). Maybe once I get back in the groove enough that I am writing things that I am proud of I will find a way to publish a little more publicly. But for now, this may be just for me. It’s part of a general desire to develop more mentally engaging hobbies; to produce an output rather than just passively absorbing media (television, podcasts, books).
So much changed for me last year. I was married last January to the most amazing person I’ve ever met. She inspires me to be a better person, and she is a big reason why I’m sitting here writing right now. She pushes me to be better, to be more than I am, in such a loving and supportive way. I want to make her proud…I know I’m proud to be her husband.
I also have been on a spiritual quest for the last year or more. I was raised in a fundamental Baptist church, and that’s the only spiritual reality I’ve ever known. But something happened about eighteen months or so ago (that I may or may not get into at some point) that sort of reinforced some feelings and beliefs that had already been taking root for a while. Maybe I will get into some of that here, but the bottom line is that while I’m not disillusioned with Christ, I’m definitely disillusioned with the church and many that call themselves Christian.
What I’ve landed on spiritually has become my “mantra” I guess…at least it’s something that I repeat to myself many times a day: A.T.M.
A - Acknowledge. Originally, this was just “Acknowledge God, the Creator, every day”, but that sort is sort of what “T” is about, so now it’s more just a general desire to step out of myself and try to look at things from a less selfish perspective. Stop thinking about people and things only in relation to myself and start thinking about them as individual entities. I know that sounds simple, but it is something I have to remind myself of…we are all telling our own stories, but other people aren’t just bit players in my own life. As I type that, I realize that it is something that shouldn’t be something I have to think about, but I guess that’s the point. I want to be less selfish.
T - Thankfulness. I want to take time every single day to be thankful for the life I have been blessed with. It’s not perfect, but whose is? I just know that I have so much to be thankful for, and I am finding that taking extra time out of my day every day to think about all of the good things in my life, things that God didn’t HAVE to bless me with, it changes my outlook. My job, for example, can be a source of stress and frustration, but I have a JOB…a stable source of income that I don’t have to worry about disappearing next week. That shouldn’t be taken for granted. If I started to list everything I’m thankful for, I could probably hit my 10K word goal pretty quickly…but maybe I’ll save some of that for future posts.
M - Make people’s day BETTER. I want every person I interact with to walk away from that interaction feeling a little better than they did before. This was actually inspired by somebody I know I am going to write more about…Ron the Janitor. This guy works at my office, mostly cleaning bathrooms, replacing towels, cleaning door windows, etc….and he is the happiest person I think I’ve ever met. He goes out of his way to encourage every single person that talks to him, and it’s impossible not to be in a better mood once you start talking to him. THAT’S who I want to be.
So…this wasn’t necessarily going to be all about my trying to rediscover my spiritual identity, but that’s what came out. We’ll see where this thing goes tomorrow.