I’ve been absent from everything in my life for a long time because I’ve been very sick for a very long time.
I have Lindsay Lohan Disease. I mean, I have the same stupid disease she supposedly has, BUT I HAD IT FIRST BEFORE IT WAS COOL 😑. I never wanted to have anything in common with LL, especially a disease, but here I am.
I have chikungunya. Yeah that’s a thing. A thing you get from mosquitoes. In the tropics. Except I didn’t even get to go to the tropics. I got it at home because I get tropical diseases in my own home because I am broke and don’t even get to go on vacations yet somehow still get vacation diseases. I’m next level.
So chikungunya, or chicken gumbo disease as I call it, really sucks. Basically you get a crazy fever and a terrible headache that won’t go away and all your joints explode so that moving becomes unpossible. And even not moving hurts.
I went to the ER and they were like LOL you have this thing and there’s no cure and no medication really for it so good luck to you! Take some ibuprofen except no don’t because your blood tests show that your kidneys are kind of bad so um go get a kidney ultrasound because you might be in stage 3 kidney failure! There’s only 5 stages! Bye!
Cue massive nervous breakdown and a terrible Christmas, tons of tests, blah blah and now my kidneys are fine - they were just off because of stupid chicken gumbo and now I’m left with incredible joint pain that makes it almost unbearable to live and ibuprofen does nothing and it’s forcing me to feel very sorry for Lindsay Lohan and myself.