So this happened a while ago and I lost the text messages because my phone is a douche but here is the best that I remember:
Guy: Hey, babe. ;)
Me: Who is this? How did you get my number?
Guy: I got it from a friend, Nick.
Me: /Nick?/ As in Nicholes?
Guy: Yeah. But nevermind that. ;) How about you come over and blow my whistle? ;)
Me: I don’t even know who you are.
Guy: The best candy comes from strangers. ;)
[5 mins later]
Guy: Hey baby, come on, don’t be like that. ;)
Guy: I know you’d look so cute blowing me off!
Me: Fine. What’s your address?
Guy: I knew you’d come around, ya whore. Its: XXX XX XXX XXXX
[2 mins later.]
Me: Cool, see you in 30 minuets.
[30 Minuets later]
Guy: OMG, WTF. DID YOU JUST SEND ME A PIZZA, BITCH?
Guy: HOLY HELL, YOU FUCKING CUNT, YOU’RE SUCH A WHORE!
Guy: I BET YOU’D TASTE JUST LIKE THIS SHIT PAPAJHONS SHIT.
Guy: STOP SENDING ME FUCKING PIZZAS, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
Guy: You know what, you fucking cunt? I’m going to take this Dominos, it’d sure as shit taste better than you’re white ass!! I hate girls with attitude like you, its not cute, get that dumb feminist bullshit out of my face. Such a waste of pussy.
Guy: FUCKING SHIT, HOW MANY PIZZAS DID YOU SEND ME, THUNDERCUNT?!