Why, hello, Anonymous who is apparently a fan of spectatingwanderer.
Very dominant INTJ, eh? I like the ring of that. I shouldn’t, allegedly. Oh well.
There’s no need to be so nervous all the time, Anon. The Judging tendency of the INTJ leads them to gather information in order to make an informed determination. The fact that you’re in a relationship with your INTJ indicates your INTJ has made a positive determination on you. One lovely feature that comes with your INTJ is loyalty; ergo, your INTJ will not dismiss you on a whim.
Now. Before I get to the conversation, I will remind you that comfortable silence is a perfectly acceptable bonding activity.
You don’t have to avoid mundane topics like the plague. INTJs love professing their hatred for mundane topics, but the horror we generally imagine when we make that statement is an entire conversation built around pleasantries. Mundane conversation-starters aren’t taboo; while your INTJ may not be a fan (especially if you have a blunt INTJ), they should be able to respect it as a means to an end. Besides, the blunt INTJs are very good at bulldozing through the boring.
You: So. The sky is blue.
Your INTJ: Actually, it’s violet.
Then you will discuss the electromagnetic spectrum, perhaps the evolution of color perception, and if you’re lucky, the subjectivity of color.
You say neither of you like talking about how the day’s been going — great! Don’t. However, please do not feel pressured to never bring it up, especially if something comes up you want to share. Your INTJ should be willing to lend you support when you seek it, and if your INTJ is never willing to lend an ear, walk away now and never look back. Myers-Briggs is not an excuse to be a complete jerk.
A blunt INTJ will also not hesitate to jump into the subject they want to talk about, even without a “hello”, and there’s nothing stopping you from doing the same. I have complied a short list of the types of things INTJs will be glad to discuss with you to help you get started.
Science and Technology
e.g. Did you know chemical engineers have carbonized packing peanuts for lithium battery anodes?
Use also: Isn’t Bill Nye simply wonderful?
e.g. Do you realize the United States has begun a proxy war against itself?
Use also: How do feel about the effect the French ideal laïcité has on its culture and legislature?
What do you think about Marx’s view on human nature?