Tried To Quit Smoking
  • Tried To Quit Smoking
  • Titus Andronicus
  • Local Business

Have you ever been called an asshole? Ever been the one in the relationship with the upper hand? Titus Andronicus understands. I’m a sucker for a Titus Andronicus ballad, and on their new album “Local Business”, they add another great one to their catalogue. It’s a sprawling track whose first few lines are:

“It’s not that I wanted to hurt you, I just didn’t care if I did

It is not that I just forgot you, also, I forgot everything else

It is not that I do not love you, it’s just that I hate everyone”

Brains of Smokers Who Quit Successfully Might Be Wired for Success

Smokers who are able to quit might actually be hard-wired for success, according to a study from Duke Medicine.

The study, published in Neuropsychopharmacology, showed greater connectivity among certain brain regions in people who successfully quit smoking compared to those who tried and failed.

The researchers analyzed MRI scans of 85 people taken one month before they attempted to quit. All participants stopped smoking and the researchers tracked their progress for 10 weeks. Forty-one participants relapsed. Looking back at the brain scans of the 44 smokers who quit successfully, the researchers found they had something in common before they stopped smoking – better synchrony (coordinated activity) between the insula, home to urges and cravings, and the somatosensory cortex, a part of the brain that is central to our sense of touch and motor control.

“Simply put, the insula is sending messages to other parts of the brain that then make the decision to pick up a cigarette or not,” said Merideth Addicott, Ph.D., assistant professor at Duke and lead author of the study.

The insula, a large region in the cerebral cortex, has been the subject of many smoking cessation studies that show this area of the brain is active when smokers are craving cigarettes, said Joseph McClernon, Ph.D., associate professor at Duke and the study’s senior author. Other studies have found that smokers who suffer damage to the insula appear to spontaneously lose interest in smoking.

“There’s a general agreement in the field that the insula is a key structure with respect to smoking and that we need to develop cessation interventions that specifically modulate insula function,” McClernon said. “But in what ways do we modulate it, and in whom? Our data provides some evidence on both of those fronts, and suggests that targeting connectivity between insula and somatosensory cortex could be a good strategy.”

Neurofeedback and transcranial magnetic stimulation, used to improve depression, are two treatments that modulate brain activity. With the findings in this study, researchers now have more information on where to further investigate, McClernon said.

“We have provided a blueprint,” McClernon said. “If we can increase connectivity in smokers to look more like those who quit successfully, that would be a place to start. We also need more research to understand what it is exactly about greater connectivity between these regions that increases the odds of success.”


titus andronicus - tried to quit smoking (takeaway show)

it is not that i do not love you, it’s just that i hate everyone


When I think of all the reasons not to smoke I start to reminisce. I started listening to Titus Andronicus in 2006 and I was smoking then. They had written a song called Albert Camus and I spent lazy afternoons in groves by roadsides taking notes and smoking, sitting beneath the shade of trees and looking quietly at the changing hues of green above. It was never intentional and I never read a word at the time. Their music was more powerful than any page of l'Etranger at that time, and it took me until quite recently to read the novel itself:

“I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”
- Albert Camus

This overwhelming heat and moral ambiguity, the dark pleasure of being by myself and surrounded by ribbons of smoke like loosened ribbons of a typewriter. It was so simple to detach from the present and get lost inside that haze that was sometimes the clearest air. But this music reminds me of what this really reflects: a need for pleasure to be a dark and overcast experience, like plunging into an interior that is set apart from other people. A hazy space for memories to co mingle and adjectives to twist alongside one another.

Most of my best conversations had taken place in this death-like aura, but towards the end of this performance (above) those transparent lacunae that define what it is that is so significant about this experience begin to emerge in between the static and I remember. The whole experience is a retreat and a delving into myself, and it also detaches me from the lingering memories of childhood, into some strangely diluted sense of what is and what was.

So, to really feel, though this is such a strange thought, the simulation of being able to fold and shape thoughts must end in a brave act that allows sense to re-emerge, that confidence that is shrouded by pale fire, by lingering wisps of air that startles and suffocates the life that I depend on. Really, it is because of a lack of love for myself, a heaved over feeling of solitude and indecision and only being able to speak through curtains of smoke, veiling what is truly a trepidation to speak without the joie de vivre of an eternally new and expanding self. In the world of Lynn Margulis and Dorion Sagan, in their work What Is Life?:

“Since life’s origin, all living beings, directly or circuitously, have been connected, as their bodies and populations have grown. Interactions occur, as organisms connect via water and air. Darwin, in his Origin of Species, likened the complexity of these interactions to "an entangled bank”- too complex for us humans even to begin to sort out: “Throw up a handful of feathers, and all fall to the ground according to definite laws; but how simple is the problem where each shall fall compared to the action and reaction of the innumerable plants and animals” Yet it is the sum of these uncountable interactions that yields the highest level of life: the blue biosphere, in all the holarchic coherence and mysterious grandeur of its budding in and from the black cosmos.“ (p26)


Titus Andronicus | Tried To Quit Smoking | A Take Away Show (by LaBlogotheque

it’s not that I wanted to hurt you
I just didn’t care if I did

It is not that I just forgot you
Also, I forgot everything else

It is not that I do not love you
It’s just that I hate everyone

It’s not that I wanted to hurt you
I just didn’t care if I did

What I did, I did–who I am, I am
Then a stupid kid, now a stupid man
And if I never got my chance to be young
Then what stood between me and making myself one?
What alien at my back and with what ray gun?
When I picked up this pen, it was twenty one one
Why was I screaming, “Kill kill kill Ronald Reagan?”
Again and again, “Kill kill Ronald Reagan”
But I made my bed, now we’re fucking in it
You gotta be fucking in it to win it

@melissasarahwee: #Transformation Thursday + #ThrowbackThursday
As I look back at myself in the past decade, I realised how much God has changed me as a person. It’s more than my physical appearance. I’ve grown so much more spiritually & I realised that my attitude has changed as well.
Besides breaking the chains of bad habits and binge eating, God made me detest smoking.
I was addicted to smoking and I tried to quit on so many attempts but always fail miserably. I came to the end of myself and told God to take away the desire to smoke. I went cold turkey for the 100th ( lol) time and it’s been years since i touched a cig. In fact, what once smells like heaven to me is now hell. Lol.
I also realized that I no longer enjoy using vulgarities like I used to. No offence to people who do, it’s just something I’ve grown out of. ✌ My attitude has changed so much and I’m not like the snappy, impatient, super sarcastic brat that i was a few years back. I don’t even know what happened but i do know that the closer i walk with God, the more i seek Jesus, the more He transformed me . From a low self esteem, self hating bulimic to a confident & secure woman in Christ.
These days, I just have this inner and unshakeable peace and joy within me. And i know that it’s because I’ve learnt to place my hope in God’s unwavering love. #ByHisGraceMSW


Tried to Quit Smoking - Titus Andronicus


this bout sums it up