At this time my summer vacations just started…so before leaving I wanna express my deepest thanks for the recent reblogs to                 julesfalkhunter  ✯  atphotoreblog  ✯  lensbr  ✯  surfing-the-salt-life  ✯ baronheart  ✯  biutifulpics  ✯  theoriginalplant  ✯  ponderation  ✯  i-lost-myself-in-reality  ✯  caniblekitty 

Hasta la vista tumblry!                                                                                           ps: you can’t get rid of me…I ll be around watching and posting when able.

Watch on

Oi treles👯🎵 till next time @i_pepper ❤️

Watch on


I just want to say I am so thankful for the people I have met since September. I honestly wasn’t sure how I was going to survive after you somehow managed to completely break me. I did some crazy stuff without caring about my well being, even hoping that bad things would happen to me, but I am still here and ticking. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my friend Amanda getting me back into the cosplaying world, I would have nothing to make me feel accomplished and like I could move forward. I have finally felt inspiration to sew again and it feels so much better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Let’s face it, movies and television do nothing but distract you for a minimal amount of time and the pain still arises because television reminds you of your own life a lot of the time. I doubt you ever check my Tumblr anymore, but just in case you do, I’ve refrained from posting personal stuff because I really shouldn’t let everyone see my feelings about my life and people in my life, but I just want to say that I know I made a promise to you not to give up and not to end my life, and to tell you the truth, I had no intention of keeping that promise. I thought about ending my life every single day for half a year, but now I am able to feel a little bit of happiness again, maybe not all the time, but it’s a start, a glimmer of hope for my future, and it’s all because of those that I have met after you were gone and those that have not left my side when I needed them most. Those that see the good in me even when I get a little bitchy or emotional. I didn’t think those people existed after you disappeared from my life, but now I’ve come to realize that they do. When you refused to hold on to me, my world completely ended and I lost myself and for months I just laid in bed and didn’t care about school or doing anything. I cried every day and I was seriously pathetic. I went to parties (which I never do) and drank and smoked pot and made stupid decisions and hooked up with people to try and erase you, which is stupid, because I knew it wouldn’t, but I did it anyway because I’m impulsive when I’m unhappy and alone and that’s something I’m working on, but I had no desire to do anything productive when you decided I wasn’t worth loving. You were the only person I ever let all the way in and that’s why it was so hard to lose you. I’d never invested myself so much into one person and I know it was my choice to do so and I won’t blame you for that, but I lost myself because of that. Now I finally feel somewhat like my old self again. Today was the first day in a while that I felt like I want to live a bit longer and I am happy I have been able to overcome this bitterness step by step. Even if in very small steps. Thank you Justin, thank you Amanda, thank you Alex and just thank you to all of you lovely people on Tumblr for always listening and looking at my blog. I appreciate all of you. <3