❝Let me raise you up.
Let me be your love.
May I?❞


First loves are always sweet…and bitter. After having her heart broken from her comeback first love, Yoshioka Futaba swears to focus on her art, wanting to move on and forget everything. But how can you get over a past love? Do you really need a new love?

First loves are always engulfing…and changes you. After his break up with his girlfriend when he was a first year, he had his ear pierced just to prove her that he’s not boring; and that he can be cool too. But how can you convey the brokenness of one person if you don’t literally understand them?

Touma’s music became a channel to Futaba’s unsaid words, carved in her heart.

On a night with fireflies he asked her, “May I love you…?”

// toumaXfutaba   // trading yesterday- may i

©queenmavis  // TeamToumaProject  // 050914

Follow the tag: mayi-toufu for the chapters or visit the links above.


Koutaba week! Day 7: Change.

May I Love You || 01. her resistance

{ m a y i l o v e y o u ? } // { tou fu }

A story of healing, of being broken and fixed, of denial and acceptance and love.

Characters are from Sakisaka Io’s manga/anime Ao Haru Ride. All I own are the words and how I twist the storyline. This is an intellectual property. Do not steal.


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// T o u m a

She doesn’t deserve this. She doesn’t deserve being chosen over, being an option and being face-to-face rejected. Over all the injustice around her, he doesn’t deserve her. Her attention. Her beauty. Her smile. Her time. Her anxieties. Her silences. Mabuchi never deserved them.

I look at him at the opposite side of the street. He’s with that girl he always texted. He’s with the girl he chose over Yoshioka. And he dared hold another woman in front of the person who has feelings for him. How insensitive was that?

The rage in my veins tells me to punch him. To break his jaw. To make him bleed. To make him see the monster he is and the devastation he imposed on her.

But instead, I say, “Yoshioka-san.” I look down at her. Her face is overcasted by a shadow of gloom and impending depression. “Let’s head back.” I hold her hand and together we walk back to school.

Now, more than ever, she needs someone. 'Someone' not 'me'. There’s a big difference. If I were not the one who followed her as she chased Mabuchi, if it were her friend, it won’t make a change. I am just a friend. Maybe an acquaintance. If Yoshioka will write a book, Mabuchi is an entire chapter and I’m just a sentence.

She needs someone. Someone to catch her before she falls and breaks like a glass pushed on the edge of the table. Mabuchi is the force and gravity pulling her down. While me, I'm her resistance to that force.

"I won’t lose." I say, words slip out my lips, saying it out loud. I blush, realizing that I have broken the silence of our walk. "Uh… S-sorry."

"Thank you, Kikuchi-kun.” she says, revealing her red eyes. I look at her empathizingly. Our eyes met. In a second my heart beats faster. “It’s nothing. I didn’t do anything. I also think it’s nosy of me, being present at that kind of scene.”

She shakes her head. “It’s nice to have someone rather than no one.” She smiles.

There. She said it herself. Someone. Not specifically me. Just… Just someone.

// F u t a b a

I requested to stop by a nearby cafe. I need to freshen up before facing my friends. Before we party to death (which involves a lot of drama and tears) that I have been rejected by Kou, face-to-face.

I close my eyes and the scene plays as if in a movie. It hurts. Not only my head. But everything about me hurts. My chest feels empty and in pain all at the same time. “I’m losing my sanity.” I sigh as a tear roll from my eye.

Kikuchi-kun, all that time, stares at me. I blush, suddenly conscious of his stare. “Wh-Why stare?”

He chuckles. Arm on top of the table, he rests his cheek on his palm and stares at me again, “Your face contorts at every possible way when you close your eyes and rethink stuff. I find it interesting.”

I pout for a moment, thinking how many people find my messy face interesting,  and then he adds, “Not ready to go back to the school fest yet?”

The school fest.

After chasing Kou, trailed by Kikuchi-kun, calling out to Kou, being heard by him (he even saw me), being instantly ignored and trampled over while he hugs another woman, I forgot about the school fest.

"I’m part of the committee! I need to—" I jump in recognition of the world that happens to be not actually revolving only to Kou.

"Me too." Kikuchi-kun chimes in, cutting me.

"Oh… Yes. Of course."

"At 11 we’ll play at the open field. Me and the band."


I check the time. 10:30.

"You can’t miss this, let’s go back!" I hurriedly went off, in a sprint, with Kikuchi-kun. Joined hands, we run.

The night breeze flushes cold whispers on my skin. Sweat radiated and when we reach the school, there has been a whole field of students and personnels, holding cans of something I can’t make of. Kikuchi-kun and I continue to the stage set-up in the middle of the field. His bandmates are waiting and we huff over as we reach them.

"Water," is all Kikuchi-kun managed to say in between pants. “One for me and one for Yoshioka.”

"Oh, no. I was the one that delayed Kikuchi-kun…”

Yuri, the sweet friend she is knocks me over with a tight hug. “Futaba-chan! Where did you go? Shuuko and I are both worried!”

"Sorry," I say. I try to find the words. Instinctively I look at Kikuchi-kun, who looks worried. “I, well…”

"The matter should be talked in private, Yoshioka-san.” Kikuchi-kun says as he sling his guitar over his shoulder.

Shuuko and Yuri look at me and I nod in confirmation. I know they both know something is going on. And I want to thank them. I haven’t spit it out but their faces tell me they’ll listen. They care.

 * * *

"Futaba, what happened?" Shuuko asks. We are away from the big crowd now. So I tell them. I tell them and it’s hurting all over again.

For sometime, the sprint with Kikuchi-kun paused the hurting. But it’s reverberating again.

In a hug, they secure me.

// T o u m a

Five minutes before we play, I run over to Yoshioka. “The song.” I start, “Please. Listen to it.”

She nods a yes. I hand her a can of spray paint and return to stage.

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Ao haru ride chapter 44 last 3 pages…

All i can say about this chapter is omfg my baby Touma wrote a song for futaba… As cliche as it sounds i can probably see that future chapter is futaba being late or didnt turn up to touma’s live performance where he is going to sing a song about her for her.

Kou is being aggressive this chapter, way to go futaba for insisting you want to face Touma seriously but the later pages, where she is wavering hard, my little toumaxfutaba shipper heart is scared…

Touma baby if she wont listen to your song, i will! Sing to me anytime!

Still sad Touma is not appearing in the anime wtfbbq!

But yeah… Inc heartbreak for Touma soon +_+

/cry a river

zanthereviewer said:

will there be a touma x futaba week?

There are two of us running this blog and both of us love the pairing for Kou and Futaba more than any other pairing in the manga, and at the same time neither of us support ToumaxFutaba so, sadly, there won’t be a toumaxfutaba week from our part. There might still be people who like that pairing and will probably make a week for them someday in the future, but at least from us, we won’t do it. I’m sorry, but thank you for asking!