1. First off, Bucky cannot be blamed for his panicked reaction to Steve Rogers meeting Brian O’Conner. Or the fact that Steve can apparently do with his Harley what Brian is able to do with his cars (Supra, Skyline, the Ford Escort, the Subaru…).
2. Originally, Dom didn’t know why Bucky a.k.a. Brooklyn needed to have a panic attack, right up until five seconds after he was confronted with blinding, fearless, cheerful grins from the two blondes. Also, Brian was going to teach Steve the finer points of racing…. in a vehicle with four wheels, this time, Cap, trust me, it’ll be fun.
“Fuck,” was the only appropriate reaction.
3. There was a reason why Tej didn’t want to follow his Uncle Nick’s footsteps and join SHIELD. But of course, he and the rest of the Family ended up getting adopted into the Avengers instead. He and JARVIS were tight, though.
4. Rome’s new homey was gonna be Colonel James Rhodes, because he the only sane, sensible one in this crew of loonies, yo. I am breaking up with you, Bri, you and Cap can give Dom and Brookie all the heart attacks, because I am done. I am DONION RINGS, I am taking my life back, this is me making a stand, you hear me?
Edited to add: Okay, so Rome forgot about brother Sam Wilson in Team Sane and Sensible but he the better looking bro in this trio, okay?
Sam Wilson would like to state he’s the one with the cool epic fucking wings, please and thank you.
James Rhodes would like to point out, War Machine Roxxx - micdrop.
5. Mr. Nobody and Director Coulson’s initial meeting was tense, filled with sharp smiles, double talk and an equal dose of I’m going to protect my goddamn team from your shenanigans please and thank you. But as they had a mutual hatred of HYDRA, an accord was reached.
6. It turns out that Jane Foster was cousin to Brian O’Conner and incidentally, they were both descended from one Margaret Foster, sister to Sarah Rogers.
So, basically, Jane and Brian were Steve’s long-lost cousins.
“It’s hereditary and there’s more of them than I thought!” Bucky wailed.
“Aw, cousins, yay?” was Clint’s attempt at comforting his fellow ex-brainwashed sniper bro.
“Hell, no - you’re not leaving me to deal with all this alone, Barton!”
Bucky was eventually comforted by the fact that he also had help coming from great-niece Darcy, Thor and Dom.
7. Bruce Banner and Elena Neves are not dating. No, Tony, we do not need you to set us up at that new Gordon Ramsay restaurant. No, Tony, that is not lipstick on my lab coat collar. Hulk like Elena. Elena friend. Elena make Hulk not sad. Elena save Banner from stupid General.
(There’s a story in there and it has everything to do with an Army/DSS clusterfuck that had to be sorted out by the Wrath of Luke Hobbs.)
8. Incidentally, nobody was surprised when it turned out that Luke Hobbs was worthy to lift Mjolnir. Apparently, the nickname Samoan Thor (please thank Tej) was perfectly accurate.
9. The real terror began when Pepper Potts decided to hire Mia Toretto O’Conner as her new personal assistant (because Mia was more than qualified for the job) and Letty Ortiz Toretto as her personal head of security and driver.
And then Natasha and Maria made sure to welcome the new ladies, who were really happy to receive the additional firearms and hand to hand training.
Incidentally, little Jackie instantly developed a crush on “Miss Tasha.”
10. Tony Stark does not do babies. Really. There is a reason why he is so thankful that he has not yet been hit by a paternity suit, babies are fragile, precious and breakable and there is no way in hell he can jerry rig fragile, breakable baby parts. However, baby girl Jessie O’Conner adored Tony and Tony is doomed, so doomed, because baby Jessie’s massive Uncle Dom will probably be able to Hulk smash Tony even in the suit, to say nothing about Daddy Brian and newly discovered Uncle Steve and Aunt Jane and please, please, please, why does the baby even like me, stop laughing at me, baby girl, I am Iron Man, not Baby Whisperer, oh no, don’t cry, please, don’t cry, Uncle Tony will build you a Jaeger, okay? Okay?!!!!!