to-my-future-wife

i’m just killing time between now and whenever it is that i’ll eventually meet my future wife 

Think about this when you make a negative comment about a girls thick thighs.

Remember that watermelon crushing thigh cartoon recently? Well after just watching an episode of Stan Lee’s Superhuman’s that shit is real.

Now, to give you an example the force required to crush the average watermelon is around 320 pounds as seen below:

But with using only the power of her god like thighs this is the result:

And this is why Thick thighs are fucking glorious.

To my future wife,

I hope you know the handful I am that you’ll be responsible for. Sometimes I leave my shoes or coat by the front door. I’ll start a hundred art projects in a year and won’t finish half of them. Books, too. I’ve been known to throw temper tantrums in public. Half of my half of our marriage will be affected by my parents’ marriage. That includes my judgmental mother and my absent father. I’ll probably tell my sister everything. I forget to brush my hair and take sleep aids when I don’t need to sometimes. I cry a lot, but I hate tissues and blowing my nose. I may need you to do all the talking when we go to make a major purchase because I’ll probably go blank.

I’m forgetful and messy and rather nervous. But I’ll always remember your favorite Bible verse, and how your mother’s birthday is close to mine. I’ll do my best to have a lunch packed for you, notes included, ready for you before you leave. I dread the moment you ask to listen to me play my guitar, but I’ll push through it with shaky hands. I won’t even stop when you’ve walked out of the room, because I bet you’ll stand outside the door just to listen a little longer. I’ll crawl out of bed quietly so I can brush my teeth and come back to kiss you just as you reach for me when you wake. And if ever someone steps out of line to make a pass at you, I’ll be sure to slide my hand in your back pocket and kiss your ear in front of them.

I’m not easy to handle all the time, but I’m doing the best with the heart I was given and I’m giving it to you. You are the love of my life, and if you’re willing, I’d like to spend it by your side.

My future gf/wife

Can you please…

Meditate with me.
Pray with me.
Teach me yoga.
Exposes me to new music.
Inspire me.
Give me massages.
Take baths with me.
Binge watch Netflix with me.
Share your writings with me.
Listen to my Pro-Black rants.
Stay up with me when I study.
Make me coffee for my all nighters if you’re not bout that staying up life.
Rub my booty & play in my hair.
Love my dark chocolate skin, kinky hair, & the few extra pounds I carry.

10

Barry Allen and his endless reservoir of zero chill : a collection (part one)