What You Should Never Say On A POT/SD Date!

This is going to be one of my rare ‘’shorter’ posts.

Again, a lot of my self help/ relationship advice doesn’t just apply to the sugar community. It applies to everyone that wants to work on their appeal, attraction and confidence.. male or female.

So there are four main things I would avoid talking about on a first date.

1) Weight

Sometimes, as girls, we have the tendency to bring up issues on our weight or body shape  or  body size. The problem with this is that it always comes across as insecure so just ignore that whole area. You want to exude confidence not insecurity. Think of it like this, when I say “Don’t think about a pink elephant” whats the first thing you imagine … a pink elephant right? It’s the same with your body. When you bring up something about yourself that you dislike, suddenly a man that may not have paid any attention to it before, now notices it.

2) Your Ex’s

In the beginning, when you are having a conversation with someone you are interested in and you are getting to know each other there is no room to talk about your past relationships. This is a new relationship so don’t go into old partners. Now i know that I will get asks from anons saying “well what do you say if he asks what your last sugar relationship was like”. To which my response is, even here, don’t make it about your past sugar daddies. You don’t need to start giving him information on what your previous SD did for a living or how he snored terribly. Simply layout what the relationship entailed, (like shopping, movies, trips, etc,) but it’s not necessary to go into the gory details.

3) Why you are still single?

When a man asks “Why are you still single?” or “Why don’t you have a sugar daddy yet?” don’t say “Well I just don’t get approached” or “ sugar daddies keep arranging to meet with me but then they just flake”. Because all this says is that you are UNDESIRABLE! So just avoid that topic by saying something more charming like “Well i just haven’t met anyone that meets the standards that I set for myself and for a relationship”. What this does is create a sense of worth and he now thinks “ ahhh, this is a high value woman”.

4) Rejecting Compliments

It actually amazes me how many people don’t even realise they do the following. Someone gives you a compliment on your hair or your clothes etc, and you say “ thanks but that’s not true because … ( there’s a hole here, I feel unattractive in this, I actually need to fix my split ends … you get the jist)”. Stop taking compliments badly. Just smile and say “Thank you”. After all, a man wants to compliment you but he doesn’t want to reassure!

Don’t forget to follow me here on tumblr for more tips and advice.



Marriage has a bad rep, but it’s actually really rewarding. Here’s what I’ve learned after 4 ½ years (and counting) of matrimony. (Bear in mind that we don’t have kids and we choose to never have any.)

  • Marriage is not “just a piece of paper.” Marriage is like both of you saying that you’ll be someone to talk to through all the hard times, that you’ll go through the work of arguing instead of storming out, that you’ll try to say “we” instead of “you” when arguing and try to make constructive points, and that you’ll be cheering your partner on through thick and thin. If you’re married, you’re saying that you’re completely committed, no holds barred. If you feel blue a lot, it’s a tremendous help to have the stability and support of married life.
  • You argue less. Communication improves and you don’t argue much about things that don’t matter. After an argument, one or both of you usually buys or makes a gift as a peace treaty. You even kind of know what you’re going to give. If your partner is romantic, you know their favorite flowers, candy, and perfume/cologne. If your partner likes sports, you know their favorite team, pizza topping, and coffee blend. You get the idea.
  • Home becomes a person, not a place. Most of your belongings lose their meaning. You care more about living life instead.
  • You become more sociable. You practice your people skills with each other on a daily basis, and you learn to be more forgiving and less selfish.
  • When you’re sick, you have someone to take care of you. If it’s that time of month, you have someone to make you brownies.
  • When your friends cancel on you, you can always go somewhere with your partner. Maybe not the same place, but you could always date 1950s style by going to Steak n’ Shake at 3 A.M. to share a milkshake.
  • If there’s an event you really want to go to or an activity/hobby that you really want to do, you always have someone to go with you. No matter how much your partner hates the event/activity, they will go with you as long as you also go to things that they like to do. You two might have to work out a compromise, or they might be happy to go just to see you happy (which you should reciprocate out of courtesy). The more engaged you try to be at their events, the more they’ll try to be engaged at your events.
  • You always have a karaoke partner, and no song is too cheesy. No matter how lame the song, the spectators won’t hold that against you because you’re a couple (hold hands or kiss on the cheek to convey that to the audience).
  • Sometimes your partner will do something special for you, like make reservations at the first restaurant you went to as a married couple or send you candygrams at work. It seems to be rather common for one spouse to make the other coffee each morning and give it to them in bed. The more you reciprocate doing special things, the more they’ll be reminded to keep doing special things.
  • You can get/give massages without the expectation of sex.
  • You get to learn new things together. You can learn things from listening to NPR together, doing spiritual practices together, texting each other science factoids, and so on. Learning is more fun when you have someone to practice with.
  • You might learn about another culture, or learn more about your own culture. You can learn more about each other by learning about each other’s cultures. For instance, my husband grew up on a Native American reservation, so there are a lot of things he taught me to be respectful of (like trees when you’re pruning them) and a lot of customs he taught me to do to honor nature. I’ve grown up learning about myself through the perspectives and practices of my culture, and now I get to explore myself anew through the vantage point and customs of his culture.
  • Body heat saves on the electric bill.
  • You start your own traditions. You can pick which holidays you celebrate and how you celebrate them. I highly recommend the fictional Seinfeld holiday Festivus.
  • You can get a pet and only have to do about half the work. Maybe you don’t mind taking care of your dog, but maybe when you come home you don’t want to go out and play with him. You want him when he’s worn out and cuddly. Your partner can take him to a dog park while you watch T.V. in peace and quiet.
  • Sex counts as a birthday/holiday present.
  • Chivalry/Politesse. Since you’re in it for the long haul, you know polite gestures won’t go wasted on your partner. When your partner is chivalrous, thank them (otherwise they’ll lose their motivation) and do something nice in return on another occasion. If you tell them these gestures are very important to you, they will do them.
  • You can obsess over your favorite shows every single day. If your partner doesn’t like your fav. shows, they will still listen to you rant. But that means you have to listen to them rant about shows you don’t like. If you tune them out, they’ll tune you out. For shows you both like, you can cosplay, write fanfiction together, and the whole nine yards.
  • You know what each other is thinking by reading their facial expressions and body language. This can be really fun at boring events or when you’re people watching. It’s kind of a secret language.
  • You make up conversations that other people are having. After so much communication with your partner on a day to day basis, you’ll be so in sync that this game is easy. It’s like playing pretend, for adults.
  • Personal thesaurus. Whenever you can’t think of the word you want to use, your partner finishes your sentence.
  • Wordplay. You can try to make your conversations rhyme, use the same sound for alliteration, come up with Halloween-themed puns, etc. This is another way couples finish each other’s sentences, bond, and pass the time. By hearing your partner talk so much, you have a pretty good guess about which word choices they’ll make.
  • They help you make up excuses. Don’t want to make cookies for that bake sale but can’t come up with a good reason? Your partner knows you well enough to make up an excuse that sounds believable.
  • Inside jokes. Inside jokes remind you of fond memories and make you feel like you’ve been together forever. Also, inside jokes allow you to say inappropriate things without other people knowing.
  • Jokes have no expiration date. Your partner will laugh at your 500th Borat impression and join in.
  • You shout out the same random things. These are references to inside jokes, shows you watch together, songs that you’ve dedicated to each other, etc. For example, if anyone says, “…so prepare yourself,” my husband and I will shout, “for trouble!” We even have an arsenal of poses that go along with it. It’s fun to jinx each other too.
  • You’ll have less negative body image issues. You won’t obsess over your abs, treating your hair with coconut oil, or making a weekly face mask. You’ll be less self-conscious about your body. In no time, you’ll be making out when you’re sweaty and reek of French Onion SunChips. My husband notices when I doll myself up; but at the same time, I could gain 100 lbs. in one day and he wouldn’t notice. That’s because you mostly just see what’s on the inside. You should still exercise, eat healthy, etc., but you won’t need to see the actual results. Plus, you’ll be more motivated to eat right and exercise if your partner does it with you.
  • You determine what romance is and prioritize the things that are important to you. I pretty much haven’t changed at all since I was nine, so I think reading fairy tales as bedtime stories, singing my husband to sleep, pretending to be Team Rocket, and referring to my husband as my arch-nemesis are romantic. You can live and explore your definition of romance, instead of vicariously living the brand of romance that you see on T.V. This way, you can pinpoint the things that are important to you, instead of going after the things that society wants you to think are important.
  • You get to spend all your free time broing out with your best friend.
Perks of dating me:

• I will make you yummy food
• I don’t need expensive dates
• I’d rather lay around with you watching movies than anything else
• I will draw little designs on your skin with my fingers
• I’ll play with your hair
• I’ll never judge your hobbies
• I’ll laugh at your jokes (even if they aren’t funny)

Just don’t ask me to change who I am too suit you,
I come as I am and I can leave that way too.

If you think there’s gonna be trouble, we can always get back in and go somewhere else…
          What could possibly go wrong?

Real sugaring and how much it really pays

I’ve done some research on Tumblr and it looks to me like Tumblr greatly exaggerates (for the MOST PART there are exceptions) how much a SB should get from an SD! Although numbers are rarely discussed, it is implied that Louboutin, Valentino, and Cartier are common and plentiful gifts which leads you to assume this girl is getting more than $4k a month. I also just saw a post the other day saying a girl got $20k randomly from her SD. I can tell you right now that’s BS.

I straight up asked on reddit what the financials are usually like. They asked me these questions:

1) Are you in a big city or small city? Big cities = higher allowance.

2) How hot are you? Self-explanatory.

3) How old / good looking is your SD? This isn’t as important to some, but for a decent number of SB’s they will lower their price for younger, fitter SD’s and raise it for old fat SD’s.

4) How socially competent is your SD? Is he married? Many SB’s I’ve spoken with are turned off by guys who are socially awkward, and so they might have to pay more. Some SB’s will not see married guys.

5) How often do you meet? You’re being paid for your time, so 2 times a month versus 4-5 times a month is different allowance.“

I will use myself as an example when I answer these questions, and try to guess my allowance.

1) Are you in a big city or small city?

small city an hour away from a big one

2) How hot are you?

solid 8

3) How old / good looking is your SD?

39, pretty good looking.

4) How socially competent is your SD? Is he married?

Not married, pretty socially competent.

5) How often do you meet?

3-4 times a month.

What did you guess, 6k? 4k? Guess again, 2k. Do you feel bad for me? Tumblr makes this seem dirt cheap. Believe it or not, Reddit said 2k/mo + hundreds of dollars of gifts is GOOD! For my situation, that is. I was under the impression that I had a bad arrangement  before I hit Reddit but now I don’t feel that bad about it. Reddit had a bunch of SDs who paid 1-2k a month on there, so if you’re in that boat you’re not alone! I didn’t see ANY that paid 6k a month!! (6k was my goal…I guess I’ll still strive for the top but now I know it’s not as mainstream.)

Feel free to rebuttle but this is just what I found out. Numerous babies and daddies alike told me my arrangement was a good deal. Just wanted to spread the word.