Managing Anxiety: 5 Steps to Open Your Mind and Calm Your Heart: I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. From the time I was very young, I would worry about things—my life, my parents, my house, the state of the world. I would experience a tightness in my chest and an overall sense of fear that only got worse the more I worried. The more I worried, the more afraid I became of the unseen factors that plagued me.

Anxiety is distress, caused by fear of danger or misfortune, and over the years, this worry has driven me. It’s helped me to be high-achieving and extremely productive, all the while depleting my nervous system and creating exhaustion throughout my entire being.

As an adult, I have recognized how this unnecessary fear has limited my ability to enjoy and be fully present within my life. I’ve learned that taking action, or guiding my thoughts down a more positive path, can transform my feelings to a much more grounded and peaceful place. I’ve created my own road map to navigate stress, anxiety, and worry in five steps.

1. Slow your roll: When anxiety hits, everything around us seems to speed up. Physically, we feel our heart rate quicken or breath become shorter; and mentally, we might start to head down a rabbit hole of worst-case scenarios. When this happens, slow down. Shift activities, call a friend, watch a funny YouTube video, go for a run—anything that interrupts the cascade of worry and overwhelm that can create a mountain out of any molehill.

2. Ask yourself: “What is true or what is actually happening right now?” Sometimes, just labeling exactly where you are in time and space (i.e. “I am driving to work.” “I am sitting at my desk.” etc.), helps to refocus the brain and disrupt the physiological response that happens when stressors arise. Focusing on what is actually happening instead of “what if” helps us to minimize our initial reaction of panic and fear to awareness.

3. What do I fear losing if this is true? Because anxiety is driven by fear, it is both empowering and helpful to label where the fear actually stems from. Many times, this can be from a fear of losing something—security, money, friendship, or love. By noting mentally what we are afraid might happen in a given situation, we can easier recognize the worry for what it is, most often, a fear of loss. The next time you feel anxiety coming on, it may be helpful to ask yourself which of these areas you fear losing?

4. Where might I be limiting myself within this belief? As human beings, we have a tendency to focus on what is not going well, limiting our beliefs to those that focus on scarcity or lack. When anxiety is high, it can be much easier to focus on all that is wrong or bad instead of what is working or going well. By simply pausing and recognizing where you might be holding on too tightly or limiting your possibilities, you may notice that the picture is in fact, much bigger than you had originally thought.

5. Could there be a hidden gift or silver lining amidst this situation? We often learn from problems, mistakes, or painful events. Reminding yourself in a moment of panic that you’ve always landed on your feet can help you to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Envisioning yourself on the other side of this stress, lesson in hand, can be enormously helpful in actually getting you there. Sometimes simply re-framing the situation to seek the lesson or hidden positive at the onset of a stressful situation can be useful in diffusing some of the anxiety.

I have learned, through years of exploring and recognizing my own anxiety triggers, how to create a sense of peace and calm even when things seem dire. As human beings, we are capable of creating our experience and have the power to choose whether we lead with fear and anxiety or an open heart and mind. Which do you choose? What experience will you create? I hope this helps you a little like it’s helping me.

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Tips for college freshmen!

anonymous said:

So my friend recently told her mother I identify as asexual. This wasn't an issue for me until she made it her personal mission to show me how "great" and "important" sex is to a woman. This woman practically raised do I tell her to back off?

in clear words.
tell her that it makes you uncomfortable, that you would prefer if she stopped doing that and that you will decide your own sexuality and what it entails for yourself, without anyone else trying to help.

it’s your sexuality, it’s your label, it’s your “life style choice” if she wants to think about it that way. but it’s yours and she doesn’t get a say in it.

try to be kinda diplomatic, but be clear. she needs to know that she needs to back off.

also, stay calm, take the high road, be the adult one. it’s very satisfying.

anonymous said:

Just a random tip for UK vegans (maybe other places but I'm not sure) if you are craving something super chocolatey costa coffee do two drinks made with what is basically melted chocolate, 'hot Belgian chocolate' and 'hot Belgian chocolate shot' the first one you have to specify soy milk but the chocolate they make it with is made with soya (accidentally vegan)

That’s so awesome! I love how I’m in the UK and live down the road from a Costa and had no idea. Super stoked now :D Guess we’re going vbasement ^_^

eabianchini said:

I was wondering if you know of any or how to find scholarships for people who tend to be more introverted? I have hardly any community involvement because I just don't like being around people that much & have mild social anxiety. It really seems to be screwing my chances of getting any scholarships since every application I've done has had a section asking for what I've done in my community. My financial aid is out in two years and my schooling won't be done by then. Any help would be great.

The best person to ask about this is an academic adviser at your school. Just send an email if you don’t want to go in person. Give them a little background about yourself and tell them you’re looking for scholarships. They will know better what is available at your school, because it’s different at every school.

There are scholarships that don’t depend on you being an extrovert.

Here are a few school-specific examples: 

  1. A lot of colleges reward good grades with scholarships. I got a few thousand dollars every year for being on the president’s list. 
  2. Departments award scholarships to students for exceptional work in their department. You have to just generally be a good student. Get to know all the professors, do your homework, go to class, etc.
  3. There are scholarships for specific fields of study. For example, there were scholarships specifically for people studying elementary education at my school. 

Here are a few national examples: 

  1. Tall Clubs International Scholarship—If you’re a male 6’ 2” or taller, or a female 5’ 10” or taller, you just may qualify for this $1,000 scholarship. To qualify, you simply need to write an essay entitled “What Being Tall Means to Me.”
  2. Scholar Athlete Milk Mustache of the Year (SAMMY) Award—This $7,500 scholarship, free trip to Disney World and spot in a Milk Mustache ad are available to 25 student-athlete high school seniors with 3.20 GPAs who participate in school or club sports.
  3. Sophie Major Memorial Duck Calling Contest—If you love ducks season you may be eligible for $2,000 in scholarships. So get your favorite duck call and get prepared to win some money!

You can also get scholarships for your ethnic background, military affiliation, religious affiliation, special conditions, and disabilities. (Keep in mind that anxiety is considered a disability by many.)

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Just wanted to share a pretty sweet website (and instagram too!!) from a friend of mine. There is really great material on here and I think you will enjoy it. So if you have a minute, check it out!!

I really like the most recent post:

10 Tips Every Architecture Student Should Know