POT DATES AND COMMON RED FLAGS

There are a lot of ways that SBs ensure their own safety. One method is observation and identification of red flags. Certain actions/behaviors can indicate that a man who seems like a perfect POT is actually salty or dangerous.

Just a warning, I harp on this respect thing a lot, but I promise, there’s a good reason. I’ve yet to meet a SD who has respect for his SB but injures/degrades/deceives her. SDs have a lot of power in sugar relationships, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s not worth taking the risk of being harmed by a SD who I thought seemed “ok.”

On dates, I pay close attention to a POT’s conduct and behavior and what these actions indicate. Sometimes it’s a combination of a few subtle actions that turn me away from a POT. Other times it’s one big action. If the action is marked with a star, this indicates that if a POT did such I would immediately walk out on the date. Here’s a list of some of the red flags I look for particularly on dates.

ARRIVAL

-If he arrives first, he should stand up when you walk over. Most SDs are older and were brought up with proper manners. If he fails to stand, the probability is he simply doesn’t think you’re worth the courtesy, rather than him simply not understanding proper manners.

-He shows up more than 15 minutes late without contacting you. This is another serious sign of disrepect. SDs understand that time is money. If he wastes your time and doesn’t have an amazing reason, skip him.

ORDERING

-If a POT shows concern about food prices (complains about price or gives me price limit), I automatically assume they’re salt. If he complains, he either can’t afford to treat you to dinner or he doesn’t think your worth the expense. Either way, he’s not for you. Even bigger red flag if he chose the restaurant but complaints about the food/chef/ etc. He’s either pretending to dislike the food because he thinks it makes himself seem more dignified, or he actually hates the food but chose it for the price range.

-I consider it to be a serious warning sign if a POT attempts to order my meal without my consent. I don’t mind if they give recommendations, but ordering food for me without my input isn’t okay. I know some SBs consider this to be romantic, and it is after you’ve developed a relationship, it’s not okay for a POT to do it on the first date. If he thinks it’s okay to order a meal without your input, he’s indicating that he thinks his decision making abilities are better than yours, or that he’s more sophisticated than you are. Ordering a meal is disrepectful, especially when the POT fails to acknowledge possible allergies/dietary restrictions. It’s a date for both of you - not him. Even if the date sucks, you should get a nice meal out of it. A nice meal you chose because you wanted it.

DURING MEAL

-This is an anti-red flag. Texting constantly is obvious a no-no. However, I don’t consider it to be disrepectful if a SD places his phone on the table. Most POTs are high ranking executives/businessmen. It simply isn’t realistic or practical to ask him to put his phone away entirely for an hour. Even if he does, he’ll spend that hour wondering if his business is collapsing rather than focusing on you. This demonstrates that he’s responsible and takes his responsibilities seriously - which is a great trait to have in a SD.

⭐️-One of the questions I always ask a POT on the first date is if he’s ever had a sugar relationship before, and if so why did it not work out. If he starts ripping apart his old SB, that’s a huge red flag. Keep in mind there’s a difference between critically evaluating a relationship, and blatantly attacking his previous SB. If he acknowledges his own fault, it’s probably a critique. If he uses any whoreophobic words in reference to his past SB, I leave.

-Scans room regularly. This may sound odd, but it’s never steered my wrong. By “scan” I’m referring to that jumpy eye panoramic examination of the room (exceptions are if he’s a cop, or other form of law enforcement, because for then it’s habit). This is a warning sign because men generally only do this if they’re concerned about being seen. If being in public together makes him nervous, he most likely will want a “private” (aka p4p) relationship.

⭐️-Pesters for personal information, such as home address or full name. If he can’t respect your boundaries early on, he won’t respect them better later. One POT insisted he’d have a car delivered to me, but only if he could bring it to my house. There is no valid reason a POT needs your home address or birth name.

⭐️-Presents any paperwork. I fucking blame 50 Shades of Grey. If a POT brings a contract of any sort on the first date (and, for your safety, just assume anything he asks for your signature on is a contract) ladies you need to run away. There’s really no good reason a POT would want a contract (it defeats one of the alluring aspects of sugaring).

AFTER

-He leaves without any physical contact. This may seem counter intuitive, but I get nervous anytime a POT date ends without at least a handshake. To me it indicates that he’s nervous, and unless this is his first sugar date, a POT being nervous unnerves me (ha.)

Those are some of my red flags. Hope you ladies find these useful for avoiding salt/bad POTs.

*rips face off* i’m so fucking tired of people making gifsets and photosets of the agents of shield and putting grant ward tHE HYDRA AGENT AND MURDERER in  but not antoine triplett tHE CUTE ANGEL SHIELD BABY WITH GOOFY COOL SPY GEAR

Day: 1142

Shirt: J Mascis - Tied To a Star

Color:  Heather Grey

Brand: American Apparel Track Shirt

Source: So J Mascis, main dude from Dinosaur Jr (for those of you who live under a rock) has a new solo album out today called Tied to a Star. I am always looking for good reasons to wear a shirt on this blog but this one hits on so many levels for me.  

A: I clearly love Dinosaur Jr. -  they have been a big influence on me since my 20’s, no brainer.  

B: It’s on Sub Pop. I’ve made my feelings clear here about labels, i don’t love them all that much; I have worked with a lot and Sub Pop is one that is consistently great.  Great people, great art, and great artists.  I am always happy to support a label like this. 

C: I can distinctly remember the first solo J Mascis album he put out, Martin & Me (PS: Sub Pop, wouldn’t hurt if you re-issued this)

I’m fairly confident it wasn’t a hit back then, probably went over way too many heads, but it was a clear indicator that his “acoustic music” had way more power and drive than most rock bands. It did these loud Dinosaur Jr songs justice and that was not easy.  AND, full disclosure, there is one of the best Smiths covers of “The Boy With The Thorn In His Side” that really sold me on this album.  If this album was a baseball game and it was J Mascis in the lead 101-98, the cover of “Boy” was the audio version of J doing a 3 point fade away at the buzzer with double team coverage.  BOOM goes the dynamite!

D: And most importantly, J, i think, does some of his best music on these solo records.  His last album Several Shades of Why was so fucking good.  I’m amazed he can hold back these great songs like “Several Shades of Why” and “Too Deep” and not make them Dinosaur Jr songs (PS note to J I would love to hear Dinosaur Jr version of a J Mascis album..just saying).  This new album is even better than the last and I’d venture to say it’s the best thing he has done solo ever.  Yeah i said it, but i really do believe it.  It has a lil Cat Power cameo too, and i know he did it live so i am guessing there is a recorded version of it too, but he does a great Mazzy Star Fade Into You cover.  

My point is, if you are reading this blog then i would say chances are you are a Dinosaur Jr Fan already, so going out and buying this album and supporting a guy who has been making great music for punk rock for many many years should be easy for you.  I tell you what , skip buying that dumb app you will never use and go to www.subpop.com and support two entities that have been giving you great shit for over 2 decades.  FUCK -  it is asinine that i have to point out how much of a no brainier this should be really.  Get the Loser vinyl (if it’s not sold out), the shirt, and let places like Sub Pop and J Mascis know that you do care and it DOES matter when they do something.  If not you might as well turn on your radio station and listen to the garbage that they have been playing.  The same dog every hour.  I dunno, if you don’t support you might as well get a bumper sticker that says I’d rather be Twerking.  Or the Twerk store called and they are out of you.   

etsyfindoftheday | THE TAPESTRY TREND | 8.26.14

modern fringed tapestry in neon by lemoncucullu

and i love this one for exactly the opposite reason: it totally stands out! i’m digging the neon hues, the bold fringe, and the irregular look of the weave in this tapestry.

battingtobroadway

[MSG] ………………………………………..

The messages stop then and all is silent.

For a grand total of the 10 seconds it takes for him to make it from his room to Spencer’s door. “OPEN YOUR FUCKING DOOR ASSHAT!”

Spencer was silent, torn between laughing out loud and making sure his door was locked so Kyle couldn’t get to him. 

"I’ ain’t home!" Spencer called out in a falsetto. "Please try again later!"

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