As requested by anon. :)
[Want more of this series?]
If Giselle’s behavior in Bleach is the same as her behavior would be as a mom, then what kind of mom would Giselle be? If it was, you know, less horrifying?
1. She would always be willing to help.
Even when her kids didn’t want help. Actually, especially then.
Giselle: Making a diorama, huh? I will help you.
Kid: Mo-om! I don’t want your help!
Giselle: Here. Instead of that cardboard cutout, how about an actual dead squirrel?
Giselle: I did the taxidermy myself!
Giselle: I think it looks good right there.
2. She would buy them clothes.
And then insist (insist!) that they wear them. You know, like Hitsugaya didn’t exactly have a choice about whether to wear that Quincy uniform.
Giselle: I bought you an outfit for picture day!
Kid: Um…you want me to wear a uniform?
Giselle: You want to slay, don’t you?
3. She would use a lot of inappropriate sexual innuendo.
Not with her kids. But with their teachers sure. And that would be super embarrassing for her kids.
Kid: This is my mom. Mom, this is my math teacher.
Giselle: So you do hard equations, huh?
Giselle: That makes me so…
Kid: ANYWAY WE HAVE TO BE GOING
4. She would be supportive of her kids’ gender identities.
Giselle has dealt with being misgendered. She wouldn’t do that to her kids.
Kid: Mom…..I think I’m a boy.
Giselle: Of course not!
Giselle: Let me know if anyone tries to tell you otherwise. I will kill them!
5. She wouldn’t understand how presents work.
In canon, Giselle figures that if she, say, gives Bambietta her blood, then Bambietta should be willing to give it back to her. Which means that mom Giselle just wouldn’t understand how presents work.
Kid: Uh, mom? Is that my iPod?
Kid: Can I…have it back?
Giselle: What?? I gave it to you! You should be happy to give it back!
Kid: I keep telling you that isn’t how presents work.
6. She would be bad at comforting.
Not that she wouldn’t try. But Giselle just wouldn’t have a good sense of what is comforting…and what is more horrifying.
Giselle: Don’t worry.
Giselle: We can keep the dead goldfish for as long as you want.
Giselle: You might even like it better dead!
Giselle: Look! It floats now!
Kid: [crying harder]
Giselle: I’m serious! Dead is better!
7. She would want to take care of injuries at home.
Giselle wouldn’t be very into hospitals. She’d figure that any injuries could just be taken care of at home.
Kid: MOM! SAM JUST ACCIDENTALLY CUT OFF A FINGER
Giselle: And I’m sure I can tape it right back on!
Kid: MOM THAT ISN’T HOW FINGERS WORK
8. She would use reverse psychology constantly.
In canon, Giselle likes to goad people into attacking her, so that they will touch her blood and become hers. Parent Giselle would also use reverse psychology, albeit in a less horrifying way.
Giselle: Oh yes. I think you absolutely should eat that cake.
Giselle: Delicious, delicious, not deadly cake.
Kid: …maybe I don’t want dessert after all.
Giselle: You’re so healthy!
9. She would never get mad.
Or at least, she’d never seem to. No matter what her kids did or said, Giselle would continue to have that cheerful look on her face.
Kid: And after I ran over your flower bed with my bike, I suddenly remember that I had forgotten to turn off the bath and long story short that is why the basement is full of water.
Kid: I know you were keeping all of your taxidermy equipment in the basement. I’m sorry. I think it’s ruined.
Giselle: And then?
Kid: …okay seriously your happy expression is starting to weird me out.
10. She would have trouble letting go.
Canon Giselle doesn’t like letting go - if her friend dies, she turns that friend into a zombie (even if she has to murder her first). Mom Giselle would also have trouble letting go.
Giselle: I’m so happy you got into college!
Giselle: I know you’d be sad without your mom, so I have the dorm next to yours!
Giselle: It’ll be great!