..and I’m going to do. I’m stoping my talk and finally putting some action in.
Grateful I am at the moment because I don’t have a phone, this will be easier than in the past.
Need me, I’ll get back to you after my break. I need to live in the moment, find whatever it is that makes me happy. Work on myself, work on getting to know myself better.
I have a friend, friend of 6 years and still growing strong who told me many many years back some thing that went a little like ‘it’s not that you are lost, or you’re trying to find yourself, it’s that you are who you are, every things make up what you are, build yourself into what you want to be, not because you don’t know who you are because in every step of life you are always you’
The deepest thing anyone ever told me, and he reminded me of it again tonight.
You see, I have this problem, my problem is putting people’s happiness before mine, but I have to stop that. I need to also love me, how can I love someone else if I don’t even love myself?
Similar to that, as I was venting to a coworker this past week he told me the story of his past wife and why he wouldn’t get back with her even if the chance came, he still loves her but he said “I also love me” with knowing how the situation went about, not taking sides but its true he does also have to love himself.
So here’s to the relationships I have that make me feel unhappy, to the people in my life that I hold onto because I “love” them but make me feel sad, stressed, or even annoyed of how things come out to be. Here’s to my family and friends whom I love very dearly but yet have no idea in how to help me feel great in general, here’s to you all, I love you guys each and everyone so much, don’t consider this a goodbye, or a ‘I’ve given up’ but as a break as I go develop myself into the person I want to be.
I don’t know how long it’ll take, it’s not that I won’t be completely out the way, but I just won’t be here the same way, to some friends I know creating a distance will in the end mean the end of our existence but to some friends I know you’ll be happy for me for you’ve waited in the past as i’ve done this same thing a couple times before and come out happier than ever, the two best friends I’ve had that stayed through all the times I’ve went away to work on myself. Thanks for sticking around and I hope again you do the same. To my family, that’s always there, I know you’ll always be there.
I just want to work and explore. You’ll still see me, you’ll still hang out with me, but don’t expect me to be available 247 anymore it time I get time for me. Each time I do this, I do something different, this time I’m out of social media, maybe a few days, maybe a week, we’ll see. What I need is to see the truth and that’s not just out of the social media reach but also people’s lives for a bit.
Here’s to happiness instead of another round of shots. (Even though I know I’ll go out to drink hehehe)