this is rape culture






This bit of codswallop began its Internet life in January 2000 as an enthusiastic e-mail penned by an employee at the St. Louis office of the public relations firm Weber Shandwick. The writer was among a group enrolled in a self-defense class taught by David Portnoy, an instructor who claims to have trained with actors Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme. 

Portnoy refuses to give information about what he teaches in his classes or details of where he gained the information he passes along, preferring instead to sell it. (He demanded a $1,000 interview fee from a Denver Post reporter). If, however, this Weber Shandwick employee’s e-mail describing what he teaches is accurate, Portnoy should be characterized as a fear merchant vending false information to those anxious to feel safe. 

If rapists choose their victims based on hairstyle and length of tresses, it’s news to those in law enforcement; they’ve never noticed this trend. Rape victims have short hair, long hair, and no hair. They’re also young and old, short and tall, fat and skinny, femininely dressed or looking like they just fell off the tractor, and all points in between. 

Likewise, the claim that rapists go after women wearing overalls because “the straps can be easily cut” is pure hogwash, as anyone who has ever tried to cut up an old pair can attest. Overalls are made of some of the most resilient fabrics known to mankind (denim and canvas, usually), and cutting these straps is made almost impossible because the fabric is doubled over and seamed at that point in the garment. If there’s a pair of scissors that can snip through this, I’ve yet to wield 


Rape is also not always about getting sex quickly. Often it’s an act of rage or punishment directed at a vulnerable person for perceived injustices done to the attacker by others. Getting a woman out of her clothes quickly isn’t a factor in these rapes; terrorizing her and inflicting bodily harm is. 

If we take points one and two together, we’re to believe rapists arm themselves with scissors for cutting overall straps (instead of just easing them off the shoulders or — heaven forbid! — undoing the fasteners) yet fail to think to equip themselves with rolls of duct tape to keep their victims subdued, preferring instead to grab hold of their hair and hang on. 

According to Denver Police Sgt. John Burbach, most rapes occur in the evening hours and into early morning, ending before dawn, not “between 5 and 8:30 a.m.” as claimed in the e-mail. Statistics from the U.S. Department of Justice fully support him in this claim: The DOJ says “Approximately two-thirds of rapes/sexual assaults occurred at night — 6 p.m. to 6 a.m.” 

As for the tidbit “The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms,” Kathie Kramer, public relations coordinator at the Denver Rape Assistance and Awareness Program (RAAP) says, “Statistics in studies I’ve found don’t support this idea about grocery stores or parking lots being especially unsafe.” Location is important in a violent sexual assault, but there’s nothing inherently dangerous about parking lots or public restrooms; what matters is their isolation. Areas heavily frequented by foot traffic are far less likely to be chosen by a rapist. Likewise, badly-lit, less-frequented places will be favored for this type of attack. 

The e-mail claims that only 2% of rapists (one out of every fifty) carries a weapon. That figure is seriously out of whack: 1995 U.S. Department of Justice statistics show that weapons were used in 30% of all rapes, meaning the chances that your rapist will be armed is just a little less than one in three. Battling an armed attacker while unarmed yourself is rarely a wise course of action to take, and misstatements such as the 2% figure could well incite an attacked woman to thrust herself into that dynamic because she figures her chances are far better than they actually are. 

"If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming." That’s great advice, provided you get the right rapist. And you’ve no way of knowing until it’s too late. 

As comforting as it might be to believe there’s only one sort of baddie out there and if you understand his mind you can stay safe, that just isn’t the case. There is no one set of right answers, and e-mails of this ilk potentially put us at even greater risk by suggesting that there is. 

Around 1980, Nicholas Groth, director of Forensic Mental Health Associates, established a typology of rapists. Groth arrived at his conclusions by distilling his observations of more than 3,000 sex offenders over the course of 25 years of practice. (Most of his patients, Groth points out, were not sexually deprived at the time they committed rape, thereby exploding that most common of rape myths: that men rape because they’re unable to get sex any other way.) 

In a general sense, rapists fall into three motivational types: anger, power, and sadism. In anger assaults, the rapist is getting even for “some wrong he feels has been done to him, by life, by his victim at the time. He’s in a frame of rage and attacks someone sexually.” The anger rape is usually unpremeditated and impulsive, but the impulse drives the rapist into excessive force: the victim is punched, choked, and kicked into submission. Most such offenders derive little pleasure from the act, says Groth, but “they want to degrade their victims, and sex is something bad, dirty, the worst thing you could do to someone. That reflects a lot of our values in society.” 

An anger rapist could be discouraged by a potential victim who yells at him or puts up a physical struggle, thanks to the unpremeditated nature of the attack. Because the aggressor may not yet have fully decided to pursue this course of action, resistance may well change his mind. Here, even a half-hearted attempt might prove to be all it takes to end the assault. On the other hand, the rage the attacker is feeling might well be further fed by active resistance — this could be taken as yet another instance of one more person trying to deny him something he wants. 

Power rape, according to Groth, is a form of compensation, committed usually by men who feel unsure of their competence. Rape gives them a sense of mastery and control. Power rapists usually hunt for victims or seize opportunities that present themselves unbidden. A power rapist is unlikely to be discouraged by resistance because his whole self image is wrapped up in his attempt to prove mastery. A woman who chooses to fight one of these had better do a darned good job of it, because she could well end up fighting for her life. 

Groth defines his third type, sadistic rape, as eroticized aggression perpetrated by those whom the very act of forcible sex excites in ways that consensual sex can’t. “If the anger components of aggression are eroticized,” he explains, “then you see sadistic acts, such as deliberate sexual torture, using an instrument to rape the victim.” A sadistic rapist is interested in inflicting pain and lasting harm. Any countering aggression on the part of the victim could well add to the attacker’s enjoyment of the experience, prompting him to further acts of depravity in an effort to provoke further resistance. 

The question of to fight back or not is an age-old one, and there’s no one right answer. Granted, one particular rapist might be sent running bloody-nosed by a swift right hook, but try that on another one and a horrific experience could be transformed into a fatal one. Resistance advice of the type being circulated in the e-mail in question creates the false impression that escaping unscathed from the clutches of a rapist is only a matter of knowing which self-defense tricks to employ. Reality, however, is far different. Not all rapists can be overcome. 

Does this then mean self-defense classes are a waste of time? Hardly. But they’re also not the surefire protection they’re too often touted to be, any more than a can of mace confers upon its wielder guaranteed safe passage through whatever mean streets and dark alleys lie in her path. Also, physical skills are only as good as recent training — someone who hasn’t practiced a move in the three months since she took a course is only a tad better prepared to fend off an attacker than someone who never had any training at all. Worst of all, such training can lead those who have aced their courses to develop a dangerous complacency about their own safety, inducing them into a state of overconfidence wherein awareness of their surroundings becomes a lost art, buried under the certainty that now bad things can’t happen to them. 

Complacency kills. 

As always, the best defense to an attempted rape is not to be there when it happens — either avoid potentially dangerous situations (none of this “Oh, it’s only a few blocks; I’ll just walk” at 3 a.m.) or run like hell if you find yourself in one. Escaping your attacker is a far wiser course of action to strive for than attempting to do battle with him. Forget about his needing a good beating followed by a lengthy jail term; your first priority has to be your own safety. Leave the Wonder Woman stuff for Linda Carter and make like a track star vying for a gold medal in the 100m. 

The e-mail did contain one bit of valuable advice: Stay aware of your surroundings. Not only is it important to see trouble coming before it gets to you and avoid it, but an alert stance can help discourage a would-be attacker. Those looking to prey upon others — whether their aim is robbery, rape, or mayhem — generally choose as victims those who appear preoccupied or tentative in preference to those who exude a sense of purpose. Or, as I was told long ago, “Always look like you know exactly where you’re going and move like you’re expected to be there at exactly a certain time.” Mooning about aimlessly can make you a statistic. 

So, to sum up, is avoiding a rape a matter of wearing your hair short and eschewing overalls? Hardly. And anyone who attempts to characterize it as such ought to be whomped over someone’s knee. 





There are so many black people who are legitimate victims of racially biased coverage from the media, but for some reason of all of the Negroes in the land, some of y’all are still choosing to rally behind abusive, manipulative cis black men like Bill Cosby? So willing to throw women under the bus and reinforce rape culture all to “save the race” and protect men like him? I can’t even.

Okay guys I’ve been dealing with a lot of stupidity lately so how about I throw some good news out there?  Did you know that last year there were about 79,770 reported rapes according to the FBI.  How is that good news you ask, well first off that number is down 6.3% from the previous year.  That’s a pretty good step for one year.  Also this number can be used for some more fun math.

If you take that number and divide it but America’s population of women (157 million according to google)  then you get the number 0.0005 which is a woman’s chance of being raped in a year.  Now if we take that number and multiply it by the average American woman’s life expectancy (which is shown here to be between 80 and 82) you get a number around 0.04 or about 1/25.  Wait, that means that about 1 in 25 women will be raped within their life not 1 in 5!

Yeah, that’s what those numbers mean and that’s if every single rape that happened only happened to women.  I’m most certainly not trying to erase male victims here, I just wanted to crunch some numbers to see how far off that 1 in 5 statistic was.  I also still know that the number of rapes still going on is not acceptable, but I do hope that you can find some form of optimism within these numbers.

(Equation used: 79,770/157,000,000*81)

Dear Madonna,

Please, please, please stop referring to the partial leak of your album as “artistic rape”.

I understand and severely empathize with the fact that you are a survivor, like myself and too many others, but that doesn’t excuse or make it okay. It only serves to further delegitimize and trivialize our assaults.


Okay. I have a message to all of my followers. This man has made multiple threats to physically harm me, and has apparently been doing the same to other girls. He is attacking girls’ self esteem, and even though it didn’t affect me, I know that there are people who are not as self confident and are easily triggered. Please report this man for harassing and threatening so many girls, me being one of them. This needs to be stopped. His blog is @godyrgates

REMINDER ON Radical-rapunkzel

radical-rapunkzel is the same person as feminism-is-your-friend who is still the same person when she changed her name to feminism-is-a-girls-best-friend and is the same person as lil-lesbo-harely-loves-red and pop-punk-princessx

That SAME person has bullied someone close to suicide TWICE.

So I ask the friends of radical-rapunkzel



r4df3m (I can’t tag them)

Is this the kind of person you want to support? Someone who bullied a ciswoman schizophrenic abuse survivor and claimed they lied about their horrific experience? If so then you might want to check your priorities

My mom was watching a crime show and in this episode, a man raped and killed two girls. My brother was on the other couch, playing on his 3DS, glancing up at the T.V. every now and then. During the first commercial break, he said “I don’t get it, why would he do those things if it makes the girl sad? If she’s yelling ‘no’, then it means ‘no’. Is the guy stupid? I see a lot of stuff like this on these shows and I didn’t think people are dumb enough to do this. Do they even know the difference between ‘no’ and ‘yes’? Geez.” 

My brother is seven and he already knows this.


So I got up this morning and sat down and started drinking my hot cocoa when I suddenly learn about this kid, David McAlpine.

Apparently he thinks it’s okay to not only judge women on how they dress, but blame them for being raped BECAUSE of the way they dress.

You do not define a woman by the way she dresses. As stated by Nicole, a woman dresses however she wants to dress, whether it be for herself or for a man. This is why I need feminism. Because men like David McAlpine dare to call themselves “real men” because they judge a woman’s character on whether or not she’s dressed in “modest” clothing. Because men like David McAlpine are STILL blaming women for getting raped. Because men like David McAlpine still exist.

Because men don’t experience these things. Men walk out into the street with pants falling down past their backsides and they don’t get called out on it nearly as much as a woman wearing shorts that are “too short” or a shirt that is “too low cut” would. And men do not understand how objectification translates to violence.

In order for feminism to succeed, things like this need to stop. Men need to change their behavior and stop looking at women as pretty things that exist to provide pleasure for them. Men need to unlearn masculinity in order for women to finally stop experiencing sexism, objectification, and misogyny. We need to stop feeding men the idea that women are dependent on the opinions of men and start feeding them the fact that women dress for themselves, and that women are people that can, in fact, think for themselves.

So, please, help me out here tumblr and go teach David McAlpine why he’s so ignorant.

anonymous asked:

Just because someone's anonymous and agrees with femaleslug doesn't mean it's her. Go fucking check my IP if you don't believe me. You'd rather argue with transactivists than stick up for a rape victim getting abused by a radfem, how do you justify that?

I don’t have Celestia’s IP because, again, I do everything in my power to avoid interacting with her. Statcounter does tell me that you are a completely different person from whoever sent me that message an hour ago, so I hope you’re not trying to pretend it was you. That said, how fucking lost are you? When do I ever spend time “arguing with transactivists”? Once a month, maybe, at most? Arguing about gender hasn’t been the focus of my blog or my time for months now, maybe even a year, because I realized that it’s more important to spend my time actually talking about radical feminism instead of brow-beating individual people who disagree with me.

And also, go fuck yourself for implying that because I wasn’t aware of the specific actions of one individual who has never even followed me, I don’t “stick up” for rape victims. First of all, I am a fucking rape victim, you absolute shit stain. And if you knew fuck all about me, which you clearly don’t since statcounter ALSO tells me this is your first fucking visit to my blog, you’d know that I spend about a thousand times more hours of my life writing about rape, rape culture, and rape victims, than I ever do “arguing with transactivists.”

You and your friends are fucking using someone being abused to try and score points on people you don’t like and yet I’m the one who’s callous? Fuck off.

fuck it im so done right now

u see this gif?!


this gif pisses me the fuck off, especially since it is her response to someone asking her to have sex

you want to talk about rape culture? this is rape culture.

the fact that a popular movie (trailer) can show this makes me super fucking angry


and i mean sure he asked for clarification which is great…..but her response is “100% no” AND THEN SHE FUCKIN WINKS AGAIN

in the movie they better show some fucking consent before they have sex

I'm so mad!

So I was just sent a private message online(somewhere else, not here on tumblr) that freaked me out. Some random guy who must have seen some posts of mine in groups and such where by it is obvious I find (a certain celebrity) attractive…..some random guy just sent me a FAKE nude of (a certain celebrity). I was so horrified I blocked him! Yes (a certain celebrity) is very sexy in my opinion but things like photoshopped nudes(often someone’s head being photoshopped onto a nude body) or leaked/hacked nudes…..either of those things really bothers me! People need to stop assuming that just because someone finds someone attractive….that it means we’d want to see that person naked via any means.

I’m very much only about consent - which means that to me, it would be hot if he did a nude scene or something in a TV show or movie because he would have consented to doing that, and he’d know that anyone might potentially see it. The same thing goes for nude photos that get sent around….only if the person themselves decides to show me such a thing(or uploads something publicly somewhere THEMSELVES) - and even then, I don’t want to be randomly sent stuff like that - one time some guy sent me a picture of his penis out of the blue and I was like “WTF dude I never told you I wanted to see that.” It felt like someone was coming up to me on the street and suddenly flashing me. It basically felt like the guy was forcing himself on me in some kind of way.

Anyway, I think most people would be really freaked out by someone photoshopping their face onto a nude body. It just feels really violating. I feel violated just by being sent this image without this guy even asking beforehand if I’d want to see it(and I wouldn’t but he didn’t even ask, just assumed that I’d want it simply because he knew I think (a certain celebrity) is hot). Ugh. Another problem with people randomly sending such things without asking beforehand….is that when you don’t know to expect it, you’re sometimes in public when you check your messages and boom, sudden nude photo on the screen! -_-

There are just so many reasons why people shouldn’t do this. -_- I blocked him and I hope this never happens again.


One of the women who organized the dance first complained about Claire’s dress, but upon checking, admitted that it conformed to the standards set for the event. Nonetheless, the same woman later pulled Claire aside and told her that some of the dads—who had been watching from a balcony—felt her dancing was “too provocative” and liable to cause “impure thoughts.”

When Claire pointed out that she hadn’t even been dancing, other chaperones joined in, again told her that her dress was too short (despite having verified it was within standards, and despite other girls having shorter dresses), and, finally kicked her out of the dance.

What made Claire so provocative that these men couldn’t control themselves? Well, apparently the fact that she’s 5’9, with long legs, and built more like a grown woman than like a typical teenager. That’s it.

The problem isn’t that these men found her to be attractive; the problem is  that they and others—including other women—held Claire responsible for the men’s unwillingness to control their own reactions.

The message here is that if a man has difficulty controlling himself around a woman he finds attractive, it’s the woman’s fault for being too “provocative.”

Let me emphasize that point for those who still don’t get it: Women are held accountable for men’s reactions. This is why when a woman reports a rape, or sexual harassment of any kind, among the first questions asked—by both men and women—is inevitably, “what was she wearing?” And unless she was covered head to toe, there are inevitably comments like, “Well, what did she expect?” Even if the woman was wearing baggy sweatpants and a sweater three sizes too big, there are far too many who’s first response is, “Well, she must have done something.”

And this, my friends, is rape culture.

Read the Gawker story here, and Claire’s blog post here.


He Dissed A Rape Victim On National TV And Now Needs To Shut The Entire Hell Up 

Anytime there’s a new sexual assault case discussed in the media, I have to mentally brace myself for an onslaught of awful. Victim-blaming is always wrong, but there’s a different yet equally troubling response when the victim is male. Thankfully, comedian and activist Felonious Monk weighed in on this backward thinking and explained why it’s dead wrong.

Check out the video here