thinking

What do you want from me? I thought that you needed space, and so I made myself scarce. You came after me and pulled me back in. When I give you love and attention, you push me away. You don’t want to be with me and you don’t want me to be with anyone. What do you want? I’m so confused.
—  If this is some kind of game to you, you win. Stop playing with my emotions.
-m.t.t.

A new guy will buy you coffee and sit across from you, asking questions about the places you want to go and where you’ve been, but his voice will never be the one you want to hear.

He will take you on midnight strolls in the park while holding your hand and talk about the stars, and all you will think about is the freckles that used to litter his face.

When he takes you on vacation to Southern California where the whether is warm and the beaches are nice, you will only remember what it was like drowning in his blue eyes.

He will say I love you after three months and you will realize he isn’t one you love and he never will be, but you will think maybe I need this, maybe I need someone to love me.

When his hands and voice are shaking as he gets down on one knee you will cover your mouth and mutter yes even though all you want to do is shake your head and scream no.

The words “I do” will fall from your mouth just as you rehearsed them in the mirror the morning before, trying to convince yourself that this is the best moment of your life.

Saying “I love you too” will become an old routine and he will think this is a once in a lifetime thing, and for him it is, but your heart and love will always be with someone else.

—  How you end up with someone who isn’t the one