they're piling up

yesterday i went to dinner with my dad and a super adorable waiter/busboy kept big-smiling @ me!!! and like when he gave us our food and asked if we needed anything apparently he was looking at me the whole time!!! my father dear was even like “yo, that boy really liked you i think” and even tho i will probably never see him again, my heart flutters when i think about it o god!!

Hey Mum and Dad,

I really appreciate you making me even more aware of how feminine I look. Thank-you, I had no idea that I look like a girl dressing up as a boy. I had no idea that my pants are too big. None. It’s not like I’m wearing them in a poor attempt to hide my feminine curves you constantly point out.  I really love when you tell me how much I look like a girl. You were certainly doing the opposite before I came out to you. I can’t help that, my biology has betrayed me so looking masculine is kinda difficult, ya know? I have too much fucking estrogen flowing through my body and no testosterone. ZIP. ZERO. NUDDAH. You know what would help me look slightly more like a male? Being able to go on hormones. Guess what I’m not on because you fucking begged me to wait a year? I suppose you’re hoping that I’ll change my mind instead of actually working and coming to terms with it.

Thank-you for triggering dysphoria as often as possible. Thank-you for making me even more embarrassed about my body than I already am. Thank-you for misgendering me. Thanks.