Chapter 52 - The Truth Is
I opened the bathroom door and the steam from behind me seeped into the room, creating a look of fog all around my frame. It was a sign of a good bath – the type that I have not experienced in maybe a week. It could have been better, but I’m not complaining. And the time I took to use cream and use wet-wipes to increase the feeling of freshness was not done in vain either.
With my towel wrapped around me, I looked up from my feet after feeling the attention Chris was giving me and tightened the fuzzy material brushing against my skin. His brown eyes were squinted slightly and his head hung tilted to the side just a bit. That pink bottom lip of his grazed between his teeth back and forth at a slow speed before he sucked it in entirely.
“Come here,” he mumbled in a deep voice, sitting on the edge of the bed with his feet planted to the ground. Chris brushed his left hand through his brown and golden colored forest of curls and licked his lips while his gaze pierced me. My nipples rang with sensitivity in response to the way his eyes warmed me, and I tried to keep back the smile.
I stood just within the door frame, hair still tied up in a bun on top of my head while my chest and shoulders tensed.
Everything around us managed to stay still as not a sound was made. But the throbbing of my breasts only increased when Chris’ face relaxed and a smile come through. His eyes were welcoming, but I could tell that he was waiting to say something.
I let my own smile show when I washed over the innocence and hopefulness in his face. He just seemed so bright and honest like he was eager about something positive. So I walked over to him, feeling the build up I had before leave a little.
“Yes?” Why I was smiling like a fool, I’m not so sure. Chris chuckled and moved me from his side to between his legs. Once he did that, he leaned back and kept his body up with his arms. He took a good look at me – a slow one, from feet to face. “What?”
“Aight,” he laughed. “C'mere,” he said, getting up and pushing me back some but holding my waist. I took the steps with him as I wobbled in a direction I wasn’t facing. Chris seemed so relaxed as he smiled, showing a glimpse of his teeth. That was what made me want to kiss him, and so I did. I gave him two damp ones in a row, then pulled back.
In honesty, it felt so much better now. It’s scary, but there was something thrilling and relieving about being more vulnerable with him.
I was looking up at him until he stopped moving, causing me to do the same. “Turn.” I did what he said, and there we were facing the wall long mirror, our reflections reminding me of just how young we are. Between us we had twelve body piercings –including my nipples; blond, brown and purple hair and too many tattoos to count – obviously because of Chris.
The smile I was wearing slowly slipped off my face once I saw the fall expression Chris now wore. He seemed so serious – not mad or annoyed, but concentrated.
Scooping me up by my waist and holding me in his arms, Chris towered over be but bent his neck to kiss softly along my shoulder to my jaw. It gave me butterflies.
I put my hands on Chris’, which were locked over my stomach while I let him kiss along my skin.
“You ever forget that we’re so young?” I asked, tilting my head a little.
Chris stopped then looked at me through the mirror. After chuckling he smiled lightly. “Yeah, all the time.” He paused then uses a more meaningful tone, speaking slower. “And we’re definitely too young for you to be feeling how you do, Rae.”
“Huh?” I was slightly caught off guard with that and it showed on my face.
Chris didn’t respond, but he did keep up the eye contact. I turned my head to actually look up at him, so he looked down and did the same. But then I felt cool air against my bottom half and warm fingertips slipping up from across my thighs and lightly go over the crease between them that made the ‘V’ shape.
“Chris!” I squirmed, frowning and bending to cover myself, but he held me still.
“Will you let me show you something?”
I was still holding my towel and didn’t think I’d stop until he would let go.
“Trust me, aight?” He said lowly. He wasn’t asking me, and the look he gave me through the mirror caused my heartbeat to increase. I felt uncomfortable and thin-skinned. He kept me in his arms longer but loosened up so that I didn’t feel trapped. He did it slowly and with care, so by the time we were in a position for me to go, I felt like I didn’t want to.
I looked to the ground, ashamed of something. The air surrounding us was thick and I was waiting on him to do or say something.
Soon, Chris let his hands slip up the side of my body, and so slowly and so carefully, he unwrapped the white towel from around my body. It slipped and brushed against me, hitting the floor with what sounded like a heavy thump.
I watched it on its way to the ground but didn’t want to look up again. I felt like it would be a bit much, and I didn’t want to get that intense feeling from his watchful eyes.
Chris’ fingertips touched my skin and I felt my hairs rise. I swallowed a little and covered my breasts with my arms, moving my legs closer together to shut the gap.
But he held me anyway – tightly at that. My back was pressed firmly to his chest before he lifted my chin up. I made sure that my eyes were closed because I didn’t want to look. At least not right now.
He didn’t let his hands roam too much, but it was very intimate. I was exposed – naked when I felt like there was so much wrong with me. I couldn’t get the stuff in my head to shut down the noise, and even without looking in the mirror, I could see every scar mapped and marked into my skin.
I felt the soft, soft kiss touch me on the back of my neck along with him breathing. He brushed his thumbs against my skin while the hair on his chin tickled me. “Open. It’s alright,” he assured me in a low and raspy voice.
I squeezed my eye lids before I blinked slowly four times and did as he said.
We locked eyes through the reflection and I watched Chris kiss the side of my neck and behind me ear.
“You see what I see?” He asked. I didn’t answer, just lost the will to keep on looking. He tightened his hold some to make me look up again. “Do you?”
My response was silence.
“It’s perfect. There is no need for you to be anything else.” He paused and my eyes wandered to meet his again. “I don’t know what made you forget, but I can help to always remind you.” Deep was his voice, and every word he spoke was said against my skin. Before I knew it, I was more relaxed than I wanted to be. Chris had some sort of effect on me that I didn’t expect.
For what felt like a minute, we just stayed like that. He kept his fingers running small circles on my skin.
“Can’t we…” I began, feeling too emotional for my likings. His words did something to me, and I thought that now would be a great time to face this new, but tired fear of mine. “Less lights?”
“Nah,” he shook his head slowly, “we tried that last time and you still freaked out,” he chuckled.
“Because I don’t feel comfortable!” I snapped and Chris gave me this 'whoa’ expression, but just kissed my shoulder again. Turning from the mirror, I made us look at each other in the flesh.
“Exactly. Stop running from it like it’s going to change by doing that. As sappy as this sounds, I got you.”
Like many unexpected moments with Chris, I faintly saw it coming but was overwhelmed with the intensity of his gaze. And with a moan slipping from the barrier that my lips tried to keep, his strong hold held onto the back of my left thigh with a smacking sound. Chris brought me forward with that movement, and now my little lady parts were tingling an inch away from his mouth.
He was topless and I was thankful. I was on my feet, stood in between his legs as he has resumed his seat on the edge of the bed. It gave me the position of looking down at him, which didn’t happen often.
My lips were parted due to the anxious feeling I was harbouring, and my clit began to warm because of that.
Chris’ brown eyes were burning in connection with mine, but my attention soon darted to his lip biting, and then to his other tattooed arm snaking around my right thigh.
The quiet in the room smoothly shipped us away with calm waters from everything else that would try to distract me or Chris.
Nothing in New York City could tempt me enough to leave him or the way he looked at me. Right now I was his, and I knew he was going to make me feel it.
Chris caressed body, squeezing my ass in his hands with large, full grips that caused me to jerk. Like a stress ball, he firmly pressed his fingers into my skin, feeling my cheeks and upper thighs with great embrace. It felt like he didn’t want to leave any single part of me untouched, and the warmth from his hold was more promising than anything I could imagine in this moment.
Did I feel insecure?
Was it odd from me?
Will I stop it this time?
I don’t think so.
It didn’t take long for my attention to wander over the scar carved vertically along my stomach. The bumpy look of it had the area just below my rib cage thumping and my eyelids opening and closing quickly. But then he kissed me – touched the mark with his lips, then smirked sweetly up at me after it made a sound. He did that twice, then once again before letting my tattoo from nature guide him southwards.
The look he gave me before setting light kisses along the top of my thighs set me off even more. But it was when he left wet kisses surrounding the triangular length, which surfaced my inner centre, that I felt a slow, warm and gentle seed being planted in the lower part of my stomach.
He was rubbing the back of my tights now while letting his fingers travel up the inside, right at the top.
My eyebrows lowered as Chris grabbed, then raised my right leg while still holding firmly onto my other. He tugged it over his shoulder and helped me keep balance as I gasped from his sudden action.
It was now that I stood tiptoed on one leg with the other lifted, so that my petals were aligned with his lips. The way he had my legs open allowed him to see very part and detail of my sensual map. He bit his lip hard and stared even harder, holding onto me as if I was being pulled away.
The seed in stomach was growing more now and I’m sure he could feel it in the way my cheeks blushed.
“Oh,” I moaned as I titled my head back from the heat his peering in admiration and thought caused me.
Chris could see all of me, including the wet drops I could feel tracking every free space, dip and curve between the top of my thighs.
It was with my head turned back, eyes closed, right leg pressed on his shoulder and left toes on their tips that my body shook from the first bolt of electricity sent from Chris’ tongue sliding flat against my tingling clit. “Oh,” I moaned again, but stronger this time.
He squeezed my ass tighter and cupped my erect clit between his fat lips. “Ah,” I shook, tensing when he sent his tongue against my intimate silk.
Slowly, I brought my head forward to look down at his dirty blond curls. I panted and held the back of his head because he bent his tongue to curve around my clit and cradle it, mixing his saliva with my body’s natural lubrication. He rubbed it so that a whirl of power swarmed in the centre of my stomach, making me leak on his lips and chin. And that made Chris lick faster, stimulating nerves that have been patient for so long. The feeling set my body alive in the sexiest way possible.
I bit my bottom lip as I fought to keep my eyes open. Soon I felt cold air attack my wet area as Chris purposely decided to neglect it.
“I Want you try something,” he demanded in a deep mumble – lips covered in me. My vagina was still so close that I felt the spark from his cool breath on my bareness.
I blew out, closed my eyes to contain myself, then nodded like a dummy. But they were soon open again after I felt Chris lift my second leg up. Before I even properly registered, both of my legs where hung over his shoulders with my thighs by his neck. He held my back up as extra support as I naturally pushed forward because I was scared I’d fall.
“Whoa,” I said lightly in a rushed gasp.
My view was of Chris’ head stuck between my legs, right at the meeting. “Ah, fuck,” I cursed, toes bending as he French kissed my sensitivity roughly. My nerves set on fire. It left my insides warming and my clit stinging. I felt unstable in the air like that and was amazed that he was holding me up so well, but then he rocked backwards like the first half of the Titanic which sunk onto the North Atlantic ocean. And like that too, I splash right on his lips, my wetness being heard by the both of us.
I was sitting completely on his face.
I hopped up a little when Chris let his hands run over my skin.
“Ride, baby,” he instructed before pulling me back down and opening his mouth wide, sucking on me like he would a got darn peach. And I was spilling and shaking all at once while a sharp cold flash began to cruise shivers up the bone in my back. Something was pushing and it was getting harder for me to keep it back.
The moan that left me was insane because he started flicking my clit like he was punishing me. And that shit made me drop more.
“Ssssh,” I hissed as Chris shoved his tongue between my lips and shot it inside me. It was like waterworks – the motion of his tongue stimulating my nerves to let hot sudden waves ripple from that specific centre to my toes, fingertips and nipples. The bars were ringing seriously and I couldn’t help but play with my right one. And all of the build up led me to grind against his lips harder.
In the back of my mind, I tried to hide the voices of insecurities that were bubbling about. The only thing that kept me from stopping was the amazing sensations that stung against my pink parts. But I couldn’t forget that I wasn’t in any position to make my issues invisible.
Chris had his hands on my thighs, squeezing them to stop me from moving too much, and he was getting his way. I couldn’t jump up when it got too much, and now my hot body was really feeling it.
I began to whine and pant so heavily that my breasts moved up and down. A bolt of heated energy made me lean back and grab fists full of the sheets. I rocked my hips back and forth as if I this was a rodeo. I was actually riding his face, and that allowed all of me to feel his mouth.
The faces I was pulling probably said it all and so did the amount of wetness Chris caused me. I thought this much was either not sexy anymore or just plain embarrassing, but Chris seemed to love it with the way he let me hear his sucking and licking on me.
“Fuck! Fuck!” I cried, breathing so quickly that I couldn’t even get the word out without force.
And that was it. My clit, lips and centre had been teased, sucked, licked and flicked way too much for me to stop from pouring out.
My pelvis rocked forward as Chris trailed his lips over my clit to suck it hard. He shook his head from side to side viciously, moaning so that the vibrations kept my toes moving. I locked my legs and my abdomen contracted.
“Ah—ah…shhh, Chr—ris!” Oh God I was about to flood a stream on this nigga’s face.
And that’s exactly what I did. I came with shock. Everything was buzzing while Chris licked all around. I was too into it to let any words out but my body couldn’t help but make me moan. I stayed riding his lips as I dripped, and splashed, and leaked.
God, he is so good.
Chris let me relax and calm myself before he stopped kissing me there and moved me back by my waist. I shuffled back, still breathing a little out of time. I lifted my head once I was sitting above that snake of his, and what I saw was a fixed expression of frustration on his face. It was like he was focused on something intense enough for him not to let it go.
I felt less embarrassed and more curious, but that didn’t change the way that I looked.
Every scar was on show, and there was no hiding how they rose on my skin, turned corners and appeared darker than my tone. Yet, I was beginning to feel better about it all. I was beginning to think like I did before, and that was ‘I’m fine the way I am’. But I don’t know if I’m a hundred percent there.
Chris squeezed my thigh before turning me on my back in one movement. And I smiled when he kissed the scar on my chin lightly, then moved down to the ones on the rest of my body. It wasn’t sexual – more sweet and thoughtful than anything. The kisses made me giggle, too, and he laughed at me for it. I rubbed his head and he smiled a toothless smile, showing his dimples and looking too cute for words.
I lifted my top half to look down at him. His head was just over my belly button.
“I don’t have a condom,” he mumbled, making clear eye contact. He was waiting for me to give him a response, and I knew well that if I said that we shouldn’t move this into something more, he’d accept it.
“Oh… okay,” I said slowly in a quiet whisper before, laying down on my back, shifting so my legs opened more and unintentionally bit my bottom lip.
Chris raised an eyebrow at me and I simply nodded. He licked his lips and got up. He placed me just almost over the edge of the bed so that my back was bent, and by that I knew he was about to go deep as fuck. Needless to say, because of all of that, I was all kinds of sensitive and ready.
He let my legs fall and I paid attention to the thick tube-like shape printed heavily though his blue boxers after he pulled his jeans straight to the ground. There was the frustration again, and telling by his flustered expression, he had waited as long as he could. Chris yanked his boxers off, too and pulled his best friend out at the same time. I breathed in hard and took in the look of it: light brown and a pink head – full like it was heavy as fuck.
Lifting my legs up and bending it at the knees, Chris moved them to the sides so that he could get between my legs from where he was standing. The cold was hitting me while he stared in-between, holding his lip behind his teeth. He looked like he had been put through distress by all of the waiting his done.
Teasing me with his head, I watched him rub himself against me. He leaned forward over me so that we were chest to chest and kissed me, slipping his tongue into my mouth and skipping straight to passionate. I moaned and locked my arms around his neck, relaxing against the bed – and then I felt him. My face screwed up and I bit his lip hard from not expecting it as he slid and dug in. He went all the way in and I felt his bone come up against my pink wet walls.
Yes, that was it – his length and thickness and the way his body tensed against mine; the deep breath he took and low grunt that sounded like he didn’t want me to hear. That made my lips and clit swell again as he pushed, dig into me. God.
“Uh,” I whined when he moved in and out slowly. I was feeling him again after the while that we’ve been apart, so I understood him taking his time. Shit, I appreciated it. He was a lot for me to take, especially when he isn’t playing.
He breathed in hard and clenched his jaw since we stopped kissing a while ago. I had my hand against his chest and was whimpering from him stretching me. My opening stung from all of him.
Chris began to kiss from my jaw to my neck and stopped there, sucking hard before biting me on my skin there. “Ahh, shit,” I cursed when he went in harder. My head went into the mattress at this moment because Chris started stroking in me now, and honestly, by bones were buzzing from it. He was sending sensitive waves of stimulation up inside me as he grabbed my right breast in his hand and sucked on my nipple. He moved my palm from his chest and slipped it over his neck instead so that there was no barrier.
I got that shape impact where it was like I was going to wet myself, but I pushed it back, trembling when I did.
His rotating hips meant that he was pressing against my clit, too, and he didn’t let much of him out whenever he bashed against my opening. It was enough to give me a small body shaking orgasm that spread mainly around me lower half. It all made me that bit more fussy and sensitive. I was getting hot flashes and calling on God like I need to repent. Our chests were becoming glossy from the rubbing and that added to the heat.
The waves he set off rippled through me like skipping a smooth stone across the surface of a lake.
Chris pushed my thighs up more to get in deeper. I was going to push back due to reflex, but I wanted him to feel me how he wanted to, so I scratched up the back and bottom of his hairline instead. “Ahh, oh—fuck!” I sounded so feeble, and I was. He was going in hard now, and it seemed the more I reacted and ran my nails in and along his back, he crammed himself inside.
“Shit,” he mumbled, his speech muffled into the side of my neck. His muscles were flexing.
I was out all over the both of us and it was sticky, hot and now I got that feeling where speed was zipping through. My walls started to close tighter around Chris’ dick and my brain went quiet on me. I couldn’t concentrate on a single thing as he the part of my walls closest to my stomach clutched. Strong cervical contractions began to build up and it was like I had weights pressing on my abdomen. I felt like I had been holding a burning need to pee for about two hot minutes now. I started to grab at his skin, marking it and hitting his back.
I thought I couldn’t take it, but I wanted to.
The sting powered through my clit to inside of me and waved all the way out and through the rest of my body. A high-pitched scream left me and I couldn’t control the shivering my bones and joints did. An electric sensation seeped into my skin and I was literally coming back to back. It was serious. When I tensed and let it go, Chris bit down on my neck harder than he’s ever done and stroked long. My toes curled and I was panting too much to say a word. But I felt his body twitch and him bust warm. It was like he was going to pull out, but couldn’t let himself, so instead he went deeper. And for that minute we were breathing through the waves like that, rubbing and sliding against one another as we let the flutter set off from our heads to our very toes. Chris kept going, stroking it all out, just as I wanted him to.
“Why not? It goes with it.”
“Yeah but it’s more to it –it’s what you gotta do to make this shit work, you feel me? None of that is any good. Ain’t no good eatin’ that if it hasn’t been prepared and all,” she announced enthusiastically with a New Yorker accent lacing thick between every syllable.
“That sounded too ghetto,” I laughed, coughing as I tried not to choke on the green and red gummy bears in my mouth. We had bags of junk, and for people who were supposed to watch what we ate, we were displaying high levels of bad practice.
Rae smacked my chest lightly as I chucked now.
“I’m an OG,” she explained, speaking with her lips edged outwards as she did a bounce and leaned back.
I looked at her like there was something wrong.
“Yeah, but you mind sounding like you one with an education?” I cocked my right eyebrow as I looked down at her straightened hair and licked my lips absentmindedly. I decided a while back that I liked the purple ends.
“Why you always hating on me?”
I gave her a blank stare, blinking more times than was actually necessary. But that made Rae turn her head and burst out laughing after trying to contain it. I smile lightly and shook my head, yawned, then laughed with her.
For ten minutes now we’ve been stood in the kitchen trying to figure out what to eat, but it took more out of us than we expected. The shower we had was long enough for us to grow madly hungry, and the sleep didn’t help. My body was on low.
A nigga just wanted to eat.
The first two problems were first world ones seeing as they were, one: we had too many ingredients to pick from, and secondly, there were cooking utensils here that were too posh for us to understand. Most of them were completely unnecessary, and that made me glad that I wasn’t the one who’d actually be cooking.
“Whatever, Rae,” I mumbled. “But I want meat! Look at this shit,” I said doing a bicep curl and pulling a face. “See this?” I grunted, “ this comes from real manly food, not fish.” I made my voice deeper to sound like a WWE wrestler and tried to get her to kiss my muscles.
“Ew, stop that!”
“What? You better appreciate this here,” I stated. Rae gave me a disgusted look and all I did was give her a quick kiss. “You’re a such sucker for me,” I laughed. She rolled her eyes and took rice out of a cupboard.
“If you were a wrestler, what would your name be?”
I stared at her ass while I thought.
“That’s hard, man.” I actually began to rub my chin. “Wait, Golden Bear!”
Rae stopped scooping up rice with the little pot in her hand and turned her head. Her bottom lip began to wobble and then her cheeks became a little red. I grinned because I was proud of myself, and all I got in return was her bending over and laughing.
“You are so queer!” She squealed.
I chuckled and became a little embarrassed. “Man, shut up.”
“Golden bear though?”
“Just cook this food, alright.”
“Watch it,” she said, pointing her index finger at me with a faint smile sealed onto her face. I pulled it down with a smirk and stood behind her with one arm over her shoulder. She turned her attention back to what she was doing and carried on cupping out rice.
I felt good right now and I didn’t want anything to take me off this high.