Broken.

Michael drank for breakfast. He drank for lunch. He drank while cooking dinner. There were no girls coming in and out of his house, no parties thrown. Just him and his good friend Jack.

He crumpled Elexa’s number, throwing it away. To think that he had stopped his man-whore ways for her! For what?! She had taken advantage of him when he needed someone most, someone to show him people were good and love was good and life was good.

But life wasn’t good and Michael felt…he hated to assess how he felt. He hated coming to terms with those mushy type feelings. He felt broken. Used. Worthless. Lex was right. None of those girls loved him. Maybe they could have, if they knew him, or maybe the real him was simply unlovable. Not even his first friend, Elexa Stride loved him.

He had the gun for protection. You never what people these days would do.  He wasn’t just drinking anymore. There were pills, there were drugs. He was shooting up, enjoying the sting of the syringe as it entered his veins. He was drinking all the fucking time, just drinking.

A week later, he sat down in his leather couch, the one he had loved so much. Lex had sat on this couch with him. He was broken. He was used. He was an asshole. He didn’t know who he was or what he wanted. He didn’t know love. He didn’t know what fucking instrument Elexa played. But he knew she loved To Kill a Mockingbird, and so he left a note for her to receive it. He was drunk and he was high and he was so lost, and so broken and the only way out was the permanent one. Slowly, he brought the gun to his chest, shutting his eyes before pulling the trigger, those make-up free crystal eyes the last thing on his mind before life went black, and there was nothing.

But there was more for Michael to do. Things for him to learn. By the grace of someone higher up, he had missed, and when he was found, barely alive, blood soaking his shirt, he was taken to a hospital in the bigger city, where his father found a costly rehab facility to send  him to.

To be honest, if you asked… I would.  And to me that is the saddest thing. That I would hands down do anything you asked of me. Because I still think you’re the greatest person ever. All I can bring myself to do is be sad. I can’t get mad at you because I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me, and I can’t be happy because it’s too soon, and I can’t go numb because the pain is too intense to completely block out.

The Morning After

Michael turned off the timer and grabbed a black oven mitt, pulling the biscuits out of the oven, setting them down to cool before turning to her. His half naked body revealed everything else she had loved about him last night. His chest, his arms, his abs.

"Hey," he smiled and turned to her. He extended his hand for her to shake. "Lex, right? I’m Michael." He wasn’t sure what she remembered, but he was determined to make this not awkward, but more playful. He hated that. He also hated the girls who tried to linger around and overstay there welcome but she didn’t seem to be doing that.

Get Ready For Spring With Fresh Updates!

Hey everyone!

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We’re back with another update filled with some great new features and improvements to our site thanks to your feedback.

Let’s jump right into it with our first big feature: Weasyl users now have the ability to “Hide” comments on their profiles, content, and journals as well as their own comments. You can do this by looking at the top-right hand corner of a given comment and click on the “Hide” button. Comments that are hidden will not leave a notification that they’ve been hidden.

You may find a few more notifications in your inbox. This is because we’ve added notifications and history for any and all tagging on your content. If a community member adds tags to your work, you will know exactly who placed a tag.

We’ve also changed the way that “view counts” are tallied. Previously, view counts on user pages and content were accumulated solely by registered users of Weasyl once they’ve logged in and viewed your page or content. Now, unregistered or users who aren’t a logged in will also be accounted for in your views.

One of the most heavily requested changes has gone live! Thumbnails no longer require “hovering” over them with your mouse to view the name and creator of a submission. These have now been placed below thumbnails on the front page, when browsing, and in galleries.

We’ve also updated our staff listings. Previously, staff only ever held the title of “Admin” or “Mod”. We’ve now expanded to add “Director”, “Dev”, and “Tech”. Now you’ll have a better idea of what staff are replying to you!

And finally, we’ve adjusted the user-linking code in Markdown. Please be sure to check out our Markdown Guide here for more information.

A few known bugs have also been recently addressed, including issues with Friends listings, Collections filters and ratings, as well as issues with folder options.

One quick announcement we’re especially proud of: we’ve recently reached 500,000 submissions hosted on Weasyl! We do really appreciate your involvement with the site and uploading your content here. We look forward to seeing the next 500,000 submissions.

Thanks again for all your feedback. Without you, a lot of these changes wouldn’t have been possible. And if you have any other questions, comments or suggestions, or simply want to get more involved in the Weasyl Community, please be sure to follow us on Twitter and Tumblr, as well as join our forums.

We’ll see you soon!
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Art by Thestory.

Family Affairs

Michael smiled, shutting his eyes, and soon the line grew quiet, filled only with deep even breathing. His phone died sometime during the middle of the night but when he woke and charged it, he sent Lex a picture of him shirtless in bed, Harper cured up in his chest and smiling.

Good Morning Beautiful. Love Michael and Harper Stride

He couldn’t wait for dinner tonight. He knew nothing between them would change but he knew that it would. There would be a different air between them, a difference in the way they always seemed to reach out to touch each other. Lex might coddle Harper more and MIchael would spend more time with Andy. Naturally, their families would start to blend together, starting tonight with dinner.

So this one time I was at a friend’s bonfire and we did the do. The smoking do. And I kinda zoned out right away and started talking to everyone (I didn’t think anyone was listening?) about my body and how I was inhaling this stuff and how it was traveling through my body and I said a ton of vocab words from AP Bio that I had no idea I’d retained. And I just kinda ended saying “And then my breath finds its way to my capillaries. Capillaries, man. They are the best. I love capillaries.” 

And someone was like “What? What are you talking about?”

And I just replied, “Capillaries, man. Always on the mind.”

And so now that’s my favorite joke. 

2

#THEBAGTAG: What’s In My Bag?

Rules: 

  1. Thank the person who tagged you and include a link to their blog
  2. Tell some details about you and your bag
  3. Show and describe what’s inside your bag
  4. Select ten bloggers whose bags you wanna check out

This is my first time doing a tagged post

Thank you Eana for tagging me!! :-)

I don’t really wear a backpack when there’s no school. I usually bring my bag if I’m going to visit far places. I’m not fond of carrying bags when going out with my friends except after classes. This is my favorite bag that my brother gave to me. I forgot the brand though. Lol.

What’s inside:

  1. Book: I always bring a book whenever I’m going somewhere to save me from boredom. For now, I’m currently reading Paper Towns by John Green.
  2. Walkman MP3 Player Headphones: This is a gift from dad. It’s really handy because when I don’t have my earphones and my phone is low on battery, I use this to listen to my favorite songs. It has a large memory space so I’m really thankful.
  3. Sketchpad: It’s not really a sketchpad, It’s just a plain white notepad where I draw and express myself everyday.
  4. Medicine: Since I have an asthma, I’m required to bring my medicine wherever I go.
  5. Phone: This is a Sony Xperia L. I always bring my phone in case of an emergency. Sometimes, I also use it to take pictures when my camera is not with me.
  6. Wallet: Having a wallet is a must because this is where I put my money, rosary, band-aid, and some reminders. Lol.
  7. Pencil Case: I actually feel empty without my pencil case. This is where I put my pencils, ballpens, techpens, colored pens, and other things for drawing/sketching.
  8. ID: I always bring my ID because sometimes, I can get discounts for being a student.

I’m now tagging: cat-nesss, khaleesigecelene, chari-teathestory-goes, juliapallonesbiancaagalangchasingrv, captainjuvenilemoonandstardust, and rainwash. Hope you guys can also share the things inside your bags!

Pronunciation: /ˈpōləˌrīz / VERB

Pronunciation: /ˈpōləˌrīz / VERB


1 [WITH OBJECT] Physics Restrict the vibrations of (a transverse wave, especially light) wholly or partially to one direction:


i find it interesting that webster says
its the light ——-that one wants to restrict

when in fact almost always it feels heavy like darkness

_ not an excuse or wanting to blame

an explanation

i was forced at bible point to go to saturday catechism by my mother-

she like many was a cathoholic—

she was not forcing it for me…….but to help her
help other children

the less fortunate child learn about god

i am not saying i didn’t really love telling the story

it was the part against my will that

polarized me

or the pressure of feeling those hungry kids need…………….

after all i was just one person in a mix of many.


the real gift i came away with was this
code that was pressed into my limbic system of beingness

-What are you, if you are not inspiring?

sometimes i feel like dexter not that i want to kill -:0)
but his code of how he conducted himself………………

vulnerable

michael had been in the library, trying to immerse himself in some book. early on into their new living situation, they declared the library to be a safe zone of sorts. they were both strong willed, independent, solitary people and sometimes for no particular reason, they just needed space to think, recharge, and breathe. they both understood and accepted this, and even loved each other for it. when one of them needed that time, they could retreat into the library and count on the other person to understand until they were ready to come out. occasionally jordan had stayed in there for so long reading a book that michael had gone in with a plate full of food, and sometimes michael fell asleep there until jordan came in to lure him into bed, and that was fine. the system worked great.

michael heard jordan calling and he sighed. his past had come flooding back to him once he found his bag of goodies. sure he hadn’t been chained down, or coerced into something against his will, but in his tender age he’d been taken advantage of. he’d been used and hurt and broken, even when he tried to pretend it was fine. he knew in order to heal, he’d have to give the power to jordan to do the same, knowing this time it was in love and desire.

he closed his book, marking the page he’d been on for the last twenty minutes, as his mind kept wandering. he stretched and headed into the bedroom in time to see jordan putting on her shirt. he grinned and came behind her, rubbing her belly. “you naked is the most beautiful sight i’ve ever seen, jordan daisy. god, i wish i could paint…or at least take a picture,” he grinned, kissing her neck softly.

"The Story"

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true… I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do and I was made for you

You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that don’t come out
And all of my friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know my head is a mess
No, they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what I’ve been through like you do
And I was made for you…

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true… I was made for you

Oh yeah, well it’s true… that
I was made for you…

—  Brandi Carlile
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