Chris Sims (aka Notorious I.S.B) is one of my favorite pop culture critics. He writes prodigiously about comics. His point of view is simultaneously devotional and irreverent. Another great read is his posting on Scooby Doo and Secular Humanism. I will likely be reposting a bunch of his stuff since he is one of my favorite internet writers.
What I really enjoy about this posting is how he is quickly able to make a simple press release into a critique of the Dreamworks oeuvre — especially the zinger about lopsided smirks. While I feel a little weird about copying the article entirely, it was too full of good jokes from the title on down.
DreamWorks Announces ‘DreamTab’ Device, Try Not To Be Alarmed That Shrek Now Has Another Way Into Your Home
by Chris Sims January 3, 2014 4:33 PM
I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like we may all have to update our strategies for living lives mercifully free of Shrek:DreamWorks , the studio responsible for the increasingly flatulent ogre (and a host of other movies) is getting into the tablet game with an Android-powered “DreamTab” for the kids.
Kid-friendly tablets aren’t exactly a new idea — at least in terms of how long tablets have been around — but DreamWorks getting into the game presents some pretty interesting possibilities. According to Engadget , the $300ish device is set to be pre-loaded with content related to the studio for both entertainment and educational purposes, and for young fans of animation, that could lead to some encouraging programs that gave a nice foundation for art. Of course, as Engadget points out, it could also involve Shrek and his misshapen head popping up to tell you it’s time to turn the thing off, likely repulsing children and families away from technology forever and fostering a new generation of Luddites. Let the speculation begin!
We’ve batted around a few possibilities here at ComicsAlliance that seem pretty likely to happen. Senior Editor Caleb Goellner thinks that the whole thing is just designed as a stealth training system for future animators who will be recruited into the studio, like “that movie where the kid plays video games and he’s so good he graduates to leading an army against aliens. Like Ender’s Game but not pretentious. Wing Commander? [Senior Editor’s Note: I was thinking of The Last Starfighter, but my Freddie Prinze Jr.-wired brain confounded me again]” This marks the first, and possibly only, reference to Wing Commander in the year 2014, so please update your spreadsheets accordingly.
Personally, I have high hopes that sales on a new electronic tchotchke will fund the prodcution of a sequel to Rise of the Guardians that’s just about Pirate Santa Claus battling evil, but it’s far more realistic to just assume that there’s going to be an app that’ll add a lopsided smirk to every picture.
Either way, we can all rest assured that the DreamTab will be decent, but far less critically acclaimed than whatever new computer Pixar is planning to release.