I feel like I got to a point - with Boss Monster - where it really was an unhealthy obsession. My contributions to “my own project” were not good, and the idea of abandoning a project at first really scared me, but I get more and more annoyed going back to offering “closure” on the project that I KNOW not working on it was the best thing for me.
I still feel a weird mix of embarrassment and guilt and anger seeing Sebastian as my icon, everywhere, but I don’t know what else to shift to. I am an artist with no mascot or tied-on project, currently, other than “hobbyist with stupid characters”.
I get angry at myself, sure, because there are so many brilliant artists who stick with a thing and hammer it out, and there are these great sources on how to STAY with a project, to motivate people to keep working, but.
I’d hate to undo the work and legitimacy of those thoughts, but I feel like quitting THIS PARTICULAR PROJECT was the best thing for me, after I spent eight years redoing it. I feel better not stressing over the deadline of a comic with a story that I couldn’t commit to. I don’t have to worry about makeovers of designs and personalities that I have to make careful choices about, after writing them from a narrow, hamfisted and problematic point of view I can now avoid in future stories.
I’m just not sure if this makes me a loser or a quitter, or embarrasses all the people who supported me at first, or not. I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed anyone who isn’t me.