In Which Jennie gets kissed by Wade Wilson because YOLO and there are woefully few Adults
You’re not sure what you’re expecting when you knock on the door to the Rogers-Barnes household, but it is certainly not this.
There’s a sort of frantic energy in the house, as adults are running this way and that, asking each other “Did you grab the keys?” “Yes, Darcy, of course I did, have you seen Ethan?” “I think Loki’s holding him-” “Dot, no, you cannot have ice cream for dinner, I know what Uncle Tony said-” “Bruce, Brucy, please.” “Absolutely not, Tony-”
In front of you is an annoyed, skinny presumably-a-lawyer (because almost all of Steve’s friends are lawyers), holding a very energetic, chubby baby. He raises an eyebrow at you. “I have never seen you at the DA’s office,” he states, “But I suppose I don’t have everyone who works there memorized.”
You blink at him. “I, uh. Don’t work there. Is Steve or Bucky here…?”
The man’s face suddenly fills with understanding. “Ah. You must be the friend they have obviously forgotten to call.”
Steve is suddenly filling the doorway next to the man, and sometimes you forget how the scrawny kid you met first year of college turned into this dreamboat. “Hey, Jennie. Sorry, meant to call, Loki here volunteered to babysit Ethan here and then Dot and Miles, and in the rush I forgot.”
You smile at him. “Its fine, I understand. I guess I’ll go then-”
“Wait,” the man, Loki, interrupts, “She’s already here, and as I am unexpectedly also watching a little girl on top of a baby, I could use the help.” Loki shoots a glare at one of the other adults, who you doubt even notices.
The house is still in chaos.
Steve looks at you and you nod. “Yeah, sure. I can stay.” She smiles and steps into the house when Steve steps inside. That’s when you find out you were wrong.
That was not chaos.
This is chaos.
There’s suddenly two – full grown – men trying to hide behind you, one of them yelling something about boring ties and holding onto your left leg while the other holds your shoulders and is trying to duck… something, hopefully nothing that’s being physically thrown at you. There’s a young girl clinging to your leg and giggling as Bucky – thank god there’s more than one person you know in this room, really – is trying to pry her off and apologizing. The little girl, who you have now guessed is Dot (and by guessed you mean she’s the girl in all of the photos that have ended up flooding your facebook), is asking who your favourite pony is and doing a good job of impersonating an octopus.
You don’t get any warning other than the rushed end of a conversation - “Look, I’ll buy you four weeks of strong coffee if you won’t do it, Wade, please.” “No deal.” – before you’re swept up into a kiss. You push hard against the guy as one of the men behind you calls out:
“Hey, Wade, don’t scare her!”
The man pulls away and holds out his hand for you to shake.
“Hey, I’m Wade, I’d feel sorry about kissing you, but you know, yolo.”
“Wade, you can’t go around kissing random women.”
“Yolo! And you are my yolo brolo, you should totally-”
“No, Wade. Stop.”
By this point, Bucky has managed to pull Dot off your leg and finish dressing his husband.
“Alright, everyone, we need to go! We’ll be late to the fundraiser.”
Soon all of the adults are filing out the door and into cars. The three kids are showered in kisses and hugs, and there are mentions of Fairy Godfathers and “Don’t listen to a word Loki says, okay?” “Tony-“ more ponies before, finally, Steve and Bucky give their daughter a tight hug and leave, closing the door behind them.
Loki lets out a soft sigh, still holding the tiny baby, who is very interested in Loki’s hair and chewing on the ends of it. Dot is now sitting with the eldest kid, a quiet boy named Miles, watching My Little Pony on a tablet.
“We’ll have about half an hour before she gets bored,” Loki states, moving the baby so he’s drooling on the Michigan U sweater. “Then it’ll be worse than it was when they were all here.”
GUYS. LOOK AT THE THING SUPERHEROS-AND-TEA WROTE FOR ME. LOOK AT IT. IT IS AN AWESOME THING.