textual-relations

then i went to the fridge and drank another Negra Modelo and listened to two girls talk about a guy that one of them is casually sleeping with. she said that she had texted him something like “i’m getting ready to leave a party in the Lower East Side—what are you up to?”, which made me feel like, okay, if someone is speaking so casually about getting ready to leave a party, i also should have been preparing to leave at that point, or at least mentioning that i was thinking about leaving. so the guy hadn’t texted her back and it had been a while, and also earlier that day it took him two and a half hours to respond to her text. honestly i didn’t think things were looking good for this girl but we had just met so i didn’t think it was my place to tell her the guy was just not that into her. then the other girl said something like “be more aggressive with him!” and also something like “tell him you wanna have sex in his bed right now!” and i almost told them both that i thought those were terrible ideas and i thought she was playing the situation appropriately with the “getting ready to leave a party” text, but i realized i was too drunk to get my thoughts together coherently and persuasively about why the “let’s have sex now” text was the wrong move, so i kept quiet and nodded

I thought I had covered this subject of ridiculous and trifling married/attached men (here and here), but due to recent events, I think it bears repeating:

Married/attached men, please leave single women the fuck alone. Just keep it moving.

Check it. I gotta story to tell:

I had the unfortunate opportunity to meet a handsome gentleman at a bar last week when I was out my homegirl, Kellie. Kellie and I just so happened to be talking about how married/attached men are always at bars frontin’. As I do from time to time, I referenced a complete stranger for proof of what I’m saying is true. I say to Kellie “I bet you this dude beside me is married but he’s been trying to flirt with me since we got here.”

SN: The guy next to me had already attempted to flirt, but since I was hanging out with Kellie for the first time in forever, I didn’t really want to focus on what the hell he was saying.

I turned to him and did not ask his name or offer mine. I asked him as bold as broad daylight “Are you married?? Do you have a woman at home?” That seemed to throw him off guard, because it took him a little longer to answer than it should have. He compensated by saying “I was just about to ask you the same thing”. I told him I am single because I am single. He began to try and ask me some other questions and I said “Sir, I asked you a yes or no question. I’m trying to prove a point to my friend here. Is it going to be hard for you to answer?” He says “No, I’m not married. I don’t have anyone waiting for me at home.”

That was cool, cuz he was good-looking, so I did talk to him for about 7 minutes. I found out more than I probably needed to know about him in that time, but he asked for my number at the end of it all. Fine. We texted back n’ forth for two days. At the end of the second day, which was a Friday, he met me at my favorite bar, had a few drinks, talked some, watched me dance (I guess he’s not a dancer) and we parted ways. I didn’t hear from him again until Monday morning. Monday morning.

And with that, I got a distinct whiff of “Married” off of this dude. So I responded to his “Good morning” text with “Are you sure you aren’t married/attached?" 

Him: "Why? Are you? What are you looking for?”

Me: “The truth. I am very single and I prefer to deal with men who are just as single as I am. Are you able to answer that question?”

Him: “That’s good. You should go with your preferences.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Him: “I’m sorry. I don’t meet your preferences. Life goes on.”

Me: “Indeed it does. I’m shocked that you’re telling me this, considering the first words out of my mouth to you were ‘Are you married?’ and you told me that were not.”

Him: “I admit that I may have succumbed to an opportunistic moment, but you weren’t very clear.” (LMAO him being the victim of a “moment”)

Me: “I don’t think I could have been any more clear than I was.”

Him: “Well, all I wanted to pursue was friendship but I see you want more.”

Me: “Your assumptions are laughable. What you see is your attempts at bullshit being thwarted and it just drop-kicked your ego, so to compensate you’re laying blame at my pretty little feet. Classy.”

Him: “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to foster or maintain friendships of any kind with married/attached men that don’t include their significant others. If you can’t take me home for dinner, then we aren’t friends.”

Him: “I can respect that.”

Me: “Your wife would love it if you could respect your marriage just as much. Bye.”

That man sought to make me out of a fool. I’m never present for that. This is why I simply cannot be bothered and also why I have absolutely nothing to offer these dudes out here outside of nuclear side-eyes and sardonic jabs at their manhood with every comment. 

I really wish that they’d just leave us alone. 

4

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. ✗

We’re all in hell.

We are trapped in a hellish system where each Filipino struggles in their faith, in conformity, in oppression, in identity and in survival. We live our lives in lies and injustice, inferior to those in power and in control.

Ramon Digal Gulle writes in his poems about the truth, “aspiring for heaven,” the real life that we do not have, and the beauty despite living in darkness and in hell.

In this magazine, we analyze seven of Ramon Digal Gulle’s poems, revolving  around the idea of struggle. (Textual Relations, An Analysis of Ramon Digal Gulle’s poems, Introduction)

Check out our lit project which I had to layout. Not bad for my first time, eh? Tee hee. Let me know what you guys think!


I hate this feeling!

No matter what I draw I just don’t feel satisfied.  And I don’t mean that the picture itself doesn’t satisfy me, I mean that my thirst for the action of drawing still goes unquenched, and that is what irks me so!  Part of me thinks that I just need to finish some of the sketches I’ve been posting on here to feel better, and then there’s another part of me that says it’s because I should be doing homework, and then another part of me says it’s because I’m not getting that crowd-cheering response that happens when I make art for others.  And there is still yet another part that worries that I’m feeling this way because I’m not drawing enough to satisfy my hunger, and I fear that the feeling will grow until I overdose and break my wrist.  But I don’t know.  I’ll just vector up some fan art and see how that makes me feel…

I guess further more, what does one do when the very thing that calms one’s anxiety no longer calms said anxiety?

I have like, three or four people on this site that I don’t know irl but I really like and have intermittent conversations with.

Even though we don’t talk as much as i’d like, please know that I laugh like an idiot at 90% of your posts and nod when you like my stuff.