i just realized the reason that cora and john aren’t dressed up at pedro’s costume party could be because they were just hanging out in john’s room and pedro was throwing a party without them

Working through - a mathew espinosa imagine by duh-dallas -

song

Gravity by John Mayer

"Jesus y/n I don’t know what to tell you anymore!" Matt yells from laying on his bed.

"Tell me the truth for once!" I yell right back.

Matts ex girlfriend ,Alyssa, sent me a snapchat of them together yesterday when he said he was going out with his family for dinner. I’m on the verge of tears. It’s not the fact that they hung out but, the fact that he lied to me about it. And it isn’t the first time either. What else is he lying to me about? What other ex is he keeping in contact with?

"I am telling you the truth! Baby I swear we didn’t do anything. I promise." he tells me in almost a begging voice.

"Matt. God." I’m lost for words right now, I don’t even know what to say I’m so angry "You didn’t have to lie to me. By you doing that my mind is pretty convinced that whatever you’re telling me right now is a lie. Why did you tell me you were having dinner with your family last night when you obviously weren’t?" I asked. I’m trying so hard right now from not walking out of here, the sight of him right now is just making my anger rise further. The picture of them together is burned into my mind and it wont leave.

He rubs his hands over his face and sits up “I don’t know y/n, I guess to avoid this reaction from you in the first place.” he tells me, he sounds irritated. Good get irritated as if you have any right to be.

"You’re joking right?" I just stare at him. And he shakes his head with and annoyed grin on his face.

"Yeah y/n I’m totally joking, that’s why I said it." he says staring right back at me. I step closer to him.

"This ‘reaction’ I’m having right now, wouldn’t have happened at all if you didn’t lie. And honestly I really don’t know how much more of it I can take." I say and turn around to walk to the window.

"What do you mean?" he gets up and tries to follow me but stops.

"Matt I asked you to hang out last night, and you told me that lame, ass, excuse. I also asked you to hang out the three other nights this happened too but you lied then. Each time you were with her." I can feel my throat burning from the tears threatening to escape.

"Babe, I know jus-"

"Do not call me that." I turn around and a tear rolls down my face. "Don’t even dare call me that until you figure out who or what it is you want. Do you know how much it hurts seeing you with her when I know how much you cared for her at one point?" he shakes his head and I see a tear fall on his cheek. "it kills matt. What if Nick sent a picture of him and I to you? How would you feel seeing that? Seeing me smile and laughing with him and not you?" I ask.

"Y/n, please hea-"

"No! This is my turn to talk. How would you feel?"

"It would suck! I hate him! He hurt you without even blinking!" he pauses and looks down "now that’s what I’m doing to you.." he looks up and I just stare at him.

"Figure out what you want Matt." I turn to walk away but he grabs my arm.

"I know. I know I fucked up, I am fucking up. I’m taking advantage of you. But, please don’t do this.." he whispers at the end. I just shake my head. He doesn’t fully understand he’s not even mentioning Alyssa or what he’s been doing.

"I know you’re sorry but, you say this every damn time well, I’m not sure how this is going to go but I can’t be in the same room as you right now." I get away from his grip and walk down stairs before he can make me stop. Walking down stairs I grab my coat and wallet on the couch. Checking my phone there’s a missed call and text from my mother. Her and my father went out for the night and said to stay the night here or at my friends.

"You’ve got to be kidding me.." I say under my breath. I text multiple people to see if I can stay with them but all are busy or have plans in the morning. "Great." I walk down the hall and turn in the kitchen. Matt’s mom and dad are in there cooking dinner.

"Hey y/n, what’s up?" Matt’s dad says, looking up from his work on the stove. And his mom turns around wiping her hands with a dish cloth.

"Well, my mom texted me telling me they’ve gone out and I need to find a place to stay the night. I’ve asked most of my friends and they’re all busy. Would I be able to stay here on the couch or something?" I ask hesitantly.

"Oh of course honey, you know you can!" Matt’s mom say’s smiling. "Later I’ll bring down some pillows and blankets and pull out the bed from the couch. No big deal at all!"

"Ok, thank you so much." I smile and leave to sit in the living room. The fire place is going and it’s comforting in here. But no matter how hard I try to put my anger to the side, I just can’t. Footsteps are coming down the stairs and I go on my phone.

"I..I thought you were leaving." Matt say’s hesitantly coming around the couch.

"Change of plans." that came out more blunt than I thought.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Dinner was nice but it was a little more quiet than past ones. After I helped his mother clear the table when he went upstairs and she could just tell something was off. She was asking if everything was ok and what was I going to say? That her son is tearing my heart out slowly? No I couldn’t. I wont. She doesn’t push much further so I head back to the living room. Matt is sitting on one couch so I go to the other.

"Y/n can’t we just talk about this?" he asks and turns the t.v. down.

"No Matt, I really don’t want to right now." lowering my voice "I don’t really want to be here right now either but I have to be." I tell him and face drops some. What does he expect? He put the remote on the coffee table and walks out of the room with his head low. Matt’s mom comes in and I help her pull out the bed from the couch and get the sheets ready and set up. She tells me she’s going to head up for bed and hugs me goodnight.

The lights are all off except for a very dim one in the corner. The fire is no longer roaring but the coals are glowing in a way it looks like wind is hitting them. Just staring at them makes my mind wonder. None of this is right, I shouldn’t have to feel this way. I miss Matt. My matt. I feel a few tears down my face and they hit my pillow. That’s it I can’t hold it in anymore I feel sick from sadness. Sitting up I put my hands in my face and just cry. I’m trying to control my breathing but it’s not working. Footsteps are rushing down the stairs and soon arms are around me pulling me close.

"Shh, hey it’s ok. I’m here calm down." Matt’s voice is calm but still shaky. Unsure if he’s wanted but he doesn’t care.

"Matt I don’t want to feel this way." I just cry into his arms.

"What way baby?" he whispers while his chin is rested on my head.

"Like a second choice. An obsticale in the way so you have to lie to me." I say.

"Look at me." he puts his hands on my face and brings me up "I promise you, I won’t hang out with her again, and I’m not going to lie to you anymore I swear." I just nod. "Come here." he whispers and lays me down under the covers with him. I rest my head on his chest and runs his hands up and down my back.

"I love you y/n. I always will nothing has changed that. Alyssa never changed that. I’m going to prove to you everyday how much you mean to me. Never forget that."

"I love you more" is all I could say before falling asleep hearing him say

"You’re wrong."

thelittlehybrid said:

"I think I’m pregnant."

Baby Ask Meme!

"Don’t ever say those words again… You’re joking aren’t you? For the love of god tell me you’re joking. Tell me the truth and now, Hope, because I swear to god if you’re not joking…”

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Chapter 26 (Part Two)

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Chris

“You alright?” Tishaya asked me after I pulled off down the street. We were on our way to a dinner party Ashley decided to have at her house.

“Yeah I’m good, why?”

“You’ve been acting weird all day.”

“How?”

“You’ve been real quiet, you were like this last night too. What’s going on?”

“Nothing is going on, I’m good.” I was lying through my teeth and she knew it. That’s the only thing that irks me. Tishaya has been around me too much, she knows when I’m lying easy.

“Ok I’ll play this pretend game.”

“Pretend?”

“I’ll pretend to act like you’re not lying just like you just pretended to tell me the truth.” See what I mean.

“I’m telling you the truth,”

“No you’re lying and it’s pissing me off. Do I look dumb to you?”

“No,”

“So why are you sitting here bullshittin’ in my face like it’s going to fly over my head or some shit?”

“Nobody is bullshitin’ you! I said I’m good so that’s what it is.”

“You a damn lie, what’s your problem? What happened when you went to shop yesterday?”

“Tishaya just drop it,”

“I’ll take that as a yes. What’s the issue Chris I’m not fuckin’ playing open those lips and tell me what the fuck happened!”

“Watch who the fuck you yelling at!”

“So tell the truth. What happened?!”

“Teyana kissed me!”

“She kissed you?”

I sucked my teeth while shaking my head. “Yeah she came by there talking out the side of her neck then she kissed me out of nowhere.”

“Wow, alright. Well I certainly hope you’re ready to be a full time parent because I’m killing that bitch.”

“Calm down,”

“Fuck that and fuck you too!”

“The fuck you mad at me for? I didn’t tell her to kiss me.”

“No but you damn sure was lying about it just now. Did you kiss her back?”

“We’re not about to go back and forth about this shit.”

“Answer the fuckin’ question. Did you kiss her back yes or no?” Without answering I looked at her for a brief moment before turning my eyes back on the road. “You did huh? Wow,”

“Just listen for a minute.”

“No I’m not listening to shit, pull over.”

“What?”

“Pull the fuck over you heard me!”

“I’m not pulling over Tishaya calm the fuck down it didn’t even mean shit.”

“Bullshit, bullshit and even more bullshit. You go and kiss that bitch but want to say it’s nothing? Nigga please!”

“I’m telling you the fuckin’ truth!”

“Sure you are Chris. You don’t lie right? Fuck outta here pull the fuck over and let me out this damn car!” Needless to say I didn’t pull over.

I let Tishaya sit there and go off about me and Teyana like I wanted the bitch to kiss me. That shit literally came out of nowhere, yeah I was fucked up for kissing her back. My dumb ass shouldn’t have but the shit caught me off guard. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until Keeis came in the back making us jump away from each other. He left out with a confused look on his face and this bitch had the nerve to try and kiss me again. Of course I didn’t let that shit happen again. I was already fucked up I’ll be damned if I let the shit get worse. Tey got mad and cursed me out for not loving or caring about her before storming out like five year old who got told no but I didn’t give a damn. Fuck it and her for even putting me in that position.

“Chris, CHRIS!” Tishaya screamed while snapping her fingers in my face knocking me out of my thoughts.

“I’m not pulling over Tishaya so sit your ass back and shut up!”

“Nigga you have to pull over and not because of me. The cops are behind us.” Looking in my rearview mirror I sucked my teeth seeing them right behind my car.

“Shit, this is not good”

“What? I know your stupid ass doesn’t have drugs in the car while I’m in here.”

“No I don’t have no fucking drugs on me, I got my strap though.”

“Oh fuckin’ boy here we go.”

“If you don’t have a way to make this shit better shut up.” I gritted through my teeth. She was pissing me the fuck off.

“You shut up, where is it?”

“Why?”

“Just tell me where the fuck it is and pull over before they think you’re trying to get away.”

“In the glove compartment, the fuck is you about to do?”

“Christopher shut up damn.” Tishaya pulled some tissue out of her purse before opening the glove compartment and taking the gun out with her hand wrapped in tissue. “Is this the only one?”

“As far as I know,”

“The hell you mean as far as you know? So damn slow sometimes bruh I swear. You don’t have one on you?”

“Yeah I forgot, here.” I pulled the one from my waist and gave it to her. She put both of them in her purse then sat back while I pulled over.

“How much you paid for that purse?” I asked her with my eyebrow raised.

“Twenty two and some change.”

“Hundred?”

“Thousand and before you go running your mouth this is a birkin bag the shit is not cheap and it’s helping you right now so don’t even come at me.” Smart ass mouth. Before I could say something to her there was a knock on my window. Rolling it down I came face to face with an officer.

“What’s the problem officer?”

“I need to see your license and registration,” The cop said. Tishaya handed me my stuff and I gave it to him. He walked away for a couple of minutes then came back over. “Can both of you step out of the car?”

“For what?”

“We just need you to step out of the car.” He said in a stern tone. Shaking my head Tishaya and I both stepped out the car and stood off to the side.

“You sure you don’t have anything else in there?” She asked me in a low voice. “No weed or anything?” I thought about it for a minute then looked at her sighing.

“It’s an ounce in the car.” I whispered back.

“Of what?”

“Sour,”

“You know they’re going to find that right?”

“Yeah I know, you know the combination to my safe bail me out.”

“Right, they get you in custody they will not be letting you out that easy. They’ll start digging into shit, I’ll say it’s mine.”

“Hell no, I’m not letting you take that. You’re 18 it’s not simple for you to get out.”

“I know that, trust me. Just be quiet and don’t let them get my purse.” I wanted to say something else but the cops cut me off.

“Well look what we have here,” He smiled holing up the weed in his hands. “Looks like you’ll be making a trip with us…Breezy.” I could tell by the way he said my name he was more than happy to get me.

“You can’t take him with you for that,” Tishaya said and he looked at her confused.

“Why not?”

“It’s not his,”

“Listen miss I understand you want to help your little boyfriend but this is clearly his.”

“It’s not clearly his, its mine.”

“Oh really? Why don’t I believe that?”

“You can believe whatever you want to believe. It’s mine I just told you it’s mine. Are you willing to go on record saying you ignored a confession?” The cop sucked his teeth and came over to her. Tishaya gave me her purse then put her arms behind her back.

“I’m coming to get you ma,” I told her and she nodded while he read her, her rights. He put her in the back of the cop car then got in himself. Looking up at me she mouthed a quick “I’m good” before he pulled off.

Getting back in my car I started it up and sped down to Ashley and Red’s house breaking traffic law on the way there. When I pulled up I didn’t even bother to park the right way I just turned my car off and got out before jogging up to the front door and knocking on it like I was a cop.

“I’m coming!” I heard Ashley yell. A few seconds later the door opened and I walked in ignoring her hello. I found everybody in the dining room, eating.

“Late ass nigga, where Shaya at?” Jodi said and I shook my head.

“Locked the fuck up.” I answered her and they all looked at me shocked.

“What the hell did she do? Whooped somebody’s ass?” Jayce asked me laughing.

“Nah man on the way over here we got pulled over.”

“Ok and?”

“And I had two guns on me and an ounce of weed.”

“So why are you here and not in jail?” Ty asked with a confused look on his face.

“The guns are in here,” I put her purse in an empty chair. “They didn’t see that. They found the weed though. She took it.”

“The fuck you mean she took it?”

“She took the charge! She told them the shit was hers, now I got to go get her. Nigga you riding or no?”

“Hell yeah come on, when Tasha gets here tell her I’ll be back.” Ty told Jodi before getting out of his seat. Before anybody could say something else I walked out the door with him right behind me. We rushed over to my car and I sped off down the street after starting it up.

“You know she could get at least two years for an ounce right, and that’s because she has no priors.” He asked me while I drove.

“I know that, she knows that too, that’s why she took it. She said if they would have took me in the niggas would have been digging up some shit.”

“They would have so she wasn’t wrong. Damn, shorty about to do a bid for you my nigga. I see why you marrying her.”

“This shit is crazy; she was just pissed at me before they pulled us over.”

“Why?”

“She found out I kissed Teyana. I fear for her life when Shaya sees her ass.”

“Oh yeah, your BM is dead meat. She took the shit after finding out about that plus she put your guns in her purse? Nigga, you better not ever fuck up. This is me telling you this shit. That’s how you know it’s real.”

“I know that shit. Tey can suck my dick I’m not even fuckin’ with her right now.” I continued to drive while my thoughts were going all over the place.

I knew Tishaya was down for me, she’s killed somebody for me before and we weren’t even together. That was the first thing that had me ready to wife her up but I didn’t want to just spring it on her. Now she’s taking a fuckin’ charge for me. No doubt about shit I’m marrying her ass as soon as possible.

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Tishaya

“What were you doing with an ounce of weed?” The first detective asked me. Why were they even questioning me like this was some big deal I don’t know. I said it was mine, charge me and shut the fuck up. What do you need to ask questions for?

“I was going to smoke it, the fuck you think?” I responded rudely. I didn’t care either they were getting on my damn nerves.

“We think you’re trying to cover up for your boyfriend. We know what he does for a living.”

“He breathes for a living.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Why is this necessary? He has nothing to do with the shit leave him out of it.”

“So you know you’re looking at a couple of years for this right?”

“And?”

“And, you’re a beautiful girl. Do you really want to be locked up behind some no good drug dealer?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about with this drug dealer shit.”

“So what does your boyfriend do for a living? You two were in a pretty expensive looking car. How does he afford it?”

“He breathes, listen I’m not about to sit here and talk to you two about this shit. I said he has nothing to do with anything so you might as well stop bringing it up before you piss me off.”

“Get pissed off Tishaya, go ahead and get pissed off. See if we care, this is your life on the line not ours.”

“Whatever I don’t have anything else to say so are we done cause I need to pee.” They both left the room while I sat there.

I really didn’t want to be in here, the shit was nasty and gross and I was even in the actual prison. I have to be the craziest bitch in the universe for doing this but I didn’t care too much. It was either him or me. In my head I was thinking oh well I’ll see him when he gets out. I’ll hold him down but this was his fuck up he needs to deal with it, but then my stupid ass heart was saying something completely different. I knew I wouldn’t get as much time as him. I have no previous offenses at all, my shit is clean but Chris’s record is long as hell. He’s been getting in trouble with the law since he was 12 so his rap sheet was something serious. They would have given him a whole lot of time just to get him off the street. I couldn’t let that happen so here I am. Sitting in the fuckin’ county for his shit.

I don’t know if my loyalty to him means stupidity for myself. I couldn’t take this shit back now, I mean I can but what sense would it make? I’m already here; I’ve said it was mine more than once. Shit, I just have to face the damn music, I hope this nigga knows what kind of woman he has and actually holds me down while I’m going through this bullshit.

!!!

i am sad because life continues when you lose a person and it continues for them to and life doesnt stop for anybody and this morning is heavy with the absence of him in my life and i wish he did not leave and i wish he gave me answers and i wish when he says he never wants to hurt anybody he wouldve considered a better fucking way to break up with the girl he promised his love too because he fucking promised up until the last day and then turned around in an instant in the coldest way possible and dont fucking play the good guy whose just trying to get through life that guy wouldve done more for his best friend, the girl who held him whilst he cried and listened to everything, and loved him, than fucking turn around and tell her he just wanted to be alone. i was going to love him to the ends of the earth and he couldnt love me enough to tell me the whole fucking truth.
and it hurts so much still because a piece of my heart still loves you, still longs for cold days in your bedroom and laughter, mango smoothies beside you in the summer, dinner with your family, holding your hand and singing and loving you, i just really miss loving you. being there when you had a bad day or needed someone to talk to. i miss seeing you in the airport for the first time and our trip to asheville holy shit this hurts more than i thought it did

8

and i wonder if you know,

how it feels to let you go?

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