Aya Brea and Heather Mason are on a date together and it is going badly
  • Heather:So your profile mentioned you were a cop, right? What's that like?
  • Aya:Oh you know, pretty boring.
  • Aya:It's not like what they show you on teevee.
  • Aya:I spend a lot more time writing parking tickets and fighting reanimated dinosaur skeletons than chasing bank robbers aha ha.
  • Heather:(looking at phone) Uh-huh.
Dirty Teevee Secrets

Okay granted I watch too much TV, but lately I find Tabatha Coffey a little dreamy. Obvs because of the tall and the well dressed and the good hair; also, this is weird, but I have never seen an Australian person wear black all the time before. Further, I feel the need to point out that this photo says it is Tabatha and Raven, when OBVIOUSLY that is Morgan McMichaels, scoff scoff scoff GEEZ.


Just so we’re clear: I am 100% on the Lip Sync Battle train. Let’s all enjoy The Rock performing Staying Alive and stealing our damn hearts.  

espionage for the feeble

when the internet ended,
I sought her out
via private inspector

it cost a fortune,
acquired through
the sale of my dignity

which was fine,

the photos showed
her effusing happiness,
and her two daughters

I did not pursue her further

for three days,
after which I hired the P.I.
on retainer

it cost a greater fortune,
acquired through
the sale of my soul
(which fetches less than you think)

the photos piled up
in front of the teevee
every week

and though I no longer feel,
I can tell from her eyes
that I am still in her life.

semoka asked:

I love how most of the time you don't even answer the questions or mention anything close to what was asked it's hilarious and slightly frustrating but hilarious

Cas: Welp.

Cas: Hello, Sam.

Sam: Hey, Cas, whatchya doin’?

Cas: Welp, I was watchin’ my M-teevee th’ other night (not in hopes t’ see MUSIC of course) and I caught this program what said the ‘VENGERS were all set t’ do some pretty RIGHTEOUS STUFF, so I set out my MINI ‘VENGERS to watch.

Sam: Ooo, can I watch too?

Cas: I don’t see why not?

Dean: Can I watch your ‘VENGERS too?  I saw all about ‘em on the M-teevee.

Cas: Well, then sit a spell an’ watch!


Dean: ….

Cas: ….

Sam: ….

Dean: Whoop, there goes HULK, fallin’ OVER!

Cas: They tend to DO THAT (the heads are a mite BIG).  Or there might be some FRACKIN’ goin’ on in the neighborhood, always sets off BRUCE.

Sam: OH, th’ HUMANITY!!

A good portion of NBC’s Meet The Press was devoted to Chuck Todd becoming more intimately acquainted with Rand Paul (R-KY). Paul claimed that Libya was “Hillary’s War.” No challenge by Todd, of course, this was a very complimentary homage to the flip-flopping foreign policy fraud, Rand Paul. The “serious” candidate has somehow evolved into a more hawkish Republican, abandoning his previous stance of non-intervention. But he’s the trustworthy one.

Just ask radio host, Hugh Hewitt. He claims that Rand Paul is a “high trust candidate,” which he bases on the fact that he receives only a fraction of the scrutiny endured by the Clintons. It’s the right wing meme today, all regurgitating the talking point that Hillary is untrustworthy. Hewitt was just reading from his GOP memo briefing, which all Sunday show guests must read and sign before appearing on the teevee.

Todd asked Hewitt if Bill Clinton would be an asset on the campaign trail. He says,

“Hillary is a low trust candidate. Bill Clinton is a lower trust candidate.

(Bill isn’t running, but don’t tell Hugh that.) Why? Because,

if you look at "Syria, Libya, all these things, Bill Clinton is not an asset.

That’s because Bill Clinton was president from 1993-2001 so he was directly responsible for…..BENGHAZI in 2012.

read more

I really wanted to take a nap, since I was up so early… but my GigaByte boy isn’t tired yet. So Molly is sleeping (recharging her Gogo batteries, lol) and Zion is playing in the living room. I have TLC on the teevee and my laptop set up in the living room too… 
Just finished sweeping and tidying up the house. We’re going to run errands and do some grocery shopping tonight so I’m not cooking.

I’m going to write my own lost episode creepypasta:

i turned on mi teevee at 2am in the morning at night. i put da cartoon netwurk on becos i was board as fuk. i saw it wos…scoobe doo. i watcched it becos all da porn channels were shit. scobe stared at the camra, with hyperrealistik blud eyes and he looked angry. shaggy died frum smokin weed. fred was a hypareelistc blud goast and theRE WAS SWEAR WURDS. a skeleton poped out at the end and sed “boo.” it was never showed agen nd also i was the onli one who saw the esipode.