I FUCKING HATE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU AND I CANNOT REMOVE MY FEELINGS FOR YOU AND EVERYDAY I SEE YOU MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT BUT IM JUST A STUDENT IN YOUR EYES WHEN YOU MEAN THE COMPLETE WORLD TO ME BUT I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT BECAUSE ITS NOT RIGHT FOR ME TO FEEL THIS WAY AND ALL I WANT IS SOME CLOSURE I CANT HELP BUT FEEL THE WORLD CLOSING IN ON ME. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW I FEEL ITS TEARING ME APART.

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A 31-year-old female teacher was declared dead after students found her hanging inside a high school classroom in Placentia, authorities said Monday.

Jillian Rose Jacobson, 31, of Anaheim, died at El Dorado High School, at 1651 Valencia Ave. (map) in the Orange County city of Placentia.

Police and firefighters were called the campus at 8:40 a.m., and when they arrived, the female adult teacher was found in full cardiac arrest, Placentia Police Department Lt. Eric Point said.

CPR was performed but was unsuccessful and the teacher was declared dead at the scene. There was no indication of foul play, according to police.

Students found the woman hanging inside the classroom, and school staff brought her down to the ground, Point said.

Jacobson was a photography teacher who had been at the school about 10 years, Point said. Her husband had been notified of her death, he said.

The door was locked when students arrived for their first-period class, and after another teacher came to let them in, the teens discovered their teacher, the lieutenant said.

An initial investigation indicated the teacher had hanged herself, according to Point. No note was left and detectives were not sure why she had committed suicide.

Jacobson was a popular teacher who had close friends among the faculty, Point said.

Ms. Carter,

I’m sorry I kept looking at you yesterday with the appearance of needing something. I personally love watching people. Not in a weird watching-you-while-you-sleep way, but more or less behavioral things people do. I’m a psychologist in the making.
I’m not a big fan of humans, although I am one, I’m just not fond of the things we seem to be proud of in history up to this point. Nevertheless, injustices will be injustices and they must happen, in a way, for things to keep interesting in our lives. I could go on and on about how many ways society in general has screwed up, but that’s beyond the point.
This is also a pointless thing another human (IE me) has done that leads to nothing.
Now, this is probably weird. A student writing a teacher for a stupid apology for something that isn’t even a wrong thing. Hell, I looked at you and i’m too stupid to do anything but write this.
It’s pointless.
In a way, I want each teacher to remember me, each person. Every day we pass others on the streets and don’t even think of what it’s like to be them. What they do every day, how their personality would fit with yours, etc. As humans, it’s practically in our nature to see something or someone and instantly categorize it, wither we like it or not. There’s always an impression that is made for one to conclude something about said person.
In another way, I don’t want anyone to remember anything about me in case I see them in the future for this judgmental reason exactly.
It’s disgusting.
But I wouldn’t listen to me, I’m sixteen years old. What do I know?
You’ll probably forget all about me in a few days.
I’ll blur into the crowd of students you’ve taught.
Back to the point

You noticed I looked sad or unhappy after using the restroom. You were actually quite right. I go to the restroom every so often not just to use it, but to look in the mirror to see how uncomfortable I look in my own skin. I kept looking at you after you said I looked sad because I was trying to figure out what gave it off. What made the impression that I was sad? I’ve trained for years to hide it but you’re the first to ask in a while. It scares me almost.
I don’t want others to worry about me so I hide it under layers and layers of skin and clothes.
But you.
You saw it.
How the hell did you see it?

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