"I don’t care who you are, you’re going to be paying for my drink you knocked over."

"Does it matter who this guy is?! He’s the life of this snoozeville!"



"Um, excuse me. Excuuuse me! Sir?”


Wh-whhhat? Whathhh do you wannnt?”

"Why hello there, neighbor: my name is Fix-It Felix Jr. from the game Fix-It Felix Jr. I was making rounds to find my friend, Ralph, also from the game Fix-It Felix Jr., when Tapper over there was telling me that you were making quite a ruckus. I felt it was my duty not only to introduce myself to you since I’ve never seen you around these parts, BUT to also ask you if you could please calm down a bit? It wouldn’t go unappreciated.”

"…Do you even, hoo-hoo~*HIC*, do you even KNOW who I AM? The crowwwn I wear? The title I hold?!"


W-well no, sir, I can’t say I do. As I just said, I, erm… don’t know you OR your… crown. I haven’t met you before, and I-


"You know who I am…"

(Part 3/3

Wow, this was was much funnier in my head.

Special guest appearance: Fix-It Felix Jr.!

KC was [probably] promptly escorted off the premise and lead home by a not-very-happy Sour Bill, who literally had to almost drag him dead-weight to the castle. Or at least through GCS embarrassingly to the kart.)

After going out with my friends last night and singing karaoke, I picture the core four doing the same at Tapper’s. I’ve wrangled up some headcanons for it: 

  • Felix is cripplingly shy when it comes to singing and won’t do so unless he’s literally dragged up to the microphone. Even then he’s extremely awkward and stalls a little before finally giving in. 
  • Vanellope is a shameless microphone hog and refuses to share, which usually results with someone having to yank the darn thing out of her hand while she glitches all over the place.
  • Ralph is tone deaf and kinda sings everything in monotone. 
  • Calhoun is ready to sing after a few root beers and tends to favor songs that somehow relate to overcoming a brutal past. 
  • Felix’s accent completely vanishes when he sings, and everyone just kinda…gapes. 
  • Vanellope always has to sing ‘I Want Candy’ at least once. 
  • Ralph absolutely refuses to let Vanellope sing any Ke$ha songs, just because he doesn’t approve (“You don’t even know what half those lyrics mean, kid!”).
  • Felix really wants so sing a love song duet with Tammy, but he knows that’s not happening any time soon.
  • Ralph fudges up lyrics a lot and just kinda goes with it. 
  • Zangief somehow shows up and sings ‘I’m Too Sexy’, much to everyone’s dismay. 

The bartender game which appears in Wreck-It Ralph, Tapper, was controversial in real life. The game featured a bartender serving mugs of Budweiser beer. The game was intended for adults to play in real life bars, but eventually made its way into kid-friendly arcades where parents became upset at the content. Consequently, Bally Midway recreated a nearly identical version called Root Beer Tapper, with a soda jerk character instead of a bartender. The version in Wreck-It Ralph combines the bartender character of the original with the root beer of the later version.