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You’re Not Fine

You’re not fine~Syndisparklez College AU~Happy birthday communitymc you massive pile of nerd trash.

Plot: Jordan gets sick. He lies to his roommate about exactly how sick he is. Things happen.

Triggers: Tiny blood mention, and if you’re not a fan of colds you might not wanna read this.


“Hey dude, how’d your day go?” Tom asked, dropping his backpack onto the ground heavily and flopping down on the bed.

“Shitty as hell.” Jordan coughed, tossing a tissue into the trashcan by his bed. “I bailed out of my last lecture because my brain decided to pour itself out of my nose.”

Tom made a face. “Nice mental image there. Thanks dude.”

“No *cough* problem.” Jordan replied. “Glad I could help.”

“Forreal though, dude, are you okay?” Tom asked, his facial expression morphing into a serious one. “You sound absolutely awful.”

“It’s just a cold.” Jordan waved him off. “I’ll be fine.”

Tom eyed his dark-haired roommate doubtfully. “Dude, it doesn’t sound like just a cold. Do you need anything? Meds? Tea?”

“No offense dude, but why do you care?” Jordan asked, and Tom’s face flushed. “If I were you, I’d get the hell out of here before I got you sick.”

“Aww c’mon, I can’t leave my best… friend alone in the room, helpless.” Tom replied, even though his head was screaming at him liar! liar! massive fucking liar!

“I’m not helpless.” Jordan tried to protest, but he launched into a coughing fit. Well, Tom certainly wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity to take care of Jordan, that’s for sure. Most times Tom had to be careful about hiding his sexuality around his peers, especially since their college was affiliated with the church. If he came out, it could jeopardize just about everything- the most importantly of which was his relationship with his roommate.

“C’mon, I’ll make you some tea. My mum’s favorite.”

“Fuck you, you idiotic Brit.” Jordan teased. “You and your damn tea.”

“You won’t be saying that when you feel ten times better afterwards.”


For the rest of the day, Tom messed around their room tending to Jordan in various ways. The American dutifully drank the tea and despite the faces he pulled, he thanked Tom. Tom was more than happy to take care of his roommate now that he had an excuse to spend time with him.

Tom never left the room for long that weekend, taking a few trips to the grocery store for some supplies or other various things he or Jordan needed. Tom watched his roommate with a close eye, trusting that if something started going pear-shaped, Jordan would let him know.

“Thanks dude.” Jordan said as Tom handed him yet another cup of tea. “I can’t get enough of this stuff apparently.”

“You’re pretty much an honorary Brit at this point.” Tom said. “You’ve drunk more tea than anything else for the past few days. Are you sure you’re ok going back to classes tomorrow?”

“I’ll be fine dude. Don’t worry.” Jordan assured him, sliding his headphones on over his ears. Tom had learned a while ago that that was a cue for him to stop bothering Jordan and to stop worrying. He’d learned not to take it personally, people needed their personal space sometimes.

Still, as he tried to fall asleep listening to Jordan’s muffled coughs that night, he couldn’t help but worry. He hadn’t been getting better despite having been sick for the better part of a week. Tom had proposed the idea of going to the doctor on Friday, but Jordan had dismissed it almost immediately.

If Tom had a dollar for every time Jordan had told him “I’m fine,” he’d have more than enough to pay off his student loans.


Sure enough, the next morning, Jordan didn’t seem any better. “Dude, I’ll cover for you. You can copy my notes. Just get some rest.” Tom tried to tell him. Jordan gave him a glare.

“Tom.” He said tiredly, and Tom stared back at him unapologetically. “I’ll be fine. Thanks for everything you’ve done, dude. I mean it.”

“Erm… you’re welcome?” Tom turned away slightly as a blush flooded his face. “It’s really the least I could do-”

“Normal roommates don’t do this much for each other. Thanks for being there for me dude. You’re a good guy.”

Tom muttered something about getting his stuff together and quickly ducked out of sight. His face was probably a violent shade of pink right now. Man, I am in way too deep. He mused. There’s no way in hell this could ever work out for me.

“If you need to bail, let me know.” Tom said cautiously as Jordan headed out the door. He could hear him coughing all the way down the hallways. That man will be the death of me.

The lecture was a long and boring one, and throughout the duration of the professor’s dronings Tom could hear Jordan trying to muffle his coughs in the back. Suddenly, Tom saw Jordan jolt to his feet and sprint out of the lecture hall. After a moment’s hesitation, he followed.

Tom exited the hall and witnessed Jordan disappear into the men’s bathroom. He followed, just in time to see Jordan cough up a disturbingly large amount of blood into the sink. He was oblivious to the fact that Tom was watching him with a shocked expression on his face until Tom spoke.

“What the fuck?” Tom exclaimed. Jordan nearly jumped a foot into the air.

“Jesus Christ! Oh, Tom. Hi.” His already-pale face blanched further.

“How long has this been going on?” Tom asked loudly, brow furrowing as his temper spiked.

“Um… not long? Today? Maybe longer? I dunno…” Jordan wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I thought I was fine. It was just a cold.”

“Just a cold my ass.” Tom snapped. “We’re taking my car right now. We’re going to the hospital.”

Jordan began to protest weakly, but Tom pushed past him and grabbed both their book bags from the hall before practically dragging his roommate behind him and forcing him into the passenger seat of his car. “Why did you try to hide it from me, you absolute idiot?” Tom demanded, angrily revving the car and peeling out of the parking lot.

“I didn’t want to miss class and… well… the doctor costs a lot. My family isn’t the wealthiest one out there, I didn’t want to pressure them further.”

“You’re a dumbass.” Tom muttered, turning the corner abruptly. The hospital wasn’t far, luckily. “A complete and total spoon.”

Jordan snorted weakly. “You’re a spoon.”

“Get your ass inside the emergency room. Now.” I can’t believe it. The idiot was coughing up blood and he just expected to recover normally?

“My family-“

“I’ll cover it. Calm your tits.”

“I can’t-“

“Jordan, if you’re coughing up blood, something in your body is fucked up. Get your ass inside right now or I’ll carry you.” Jordan flushed, but he agreed to Tom’s angry demands. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” Tom muttered, pressing his fingers into his temples in frustration. “You said you were fine, and like a dumbass I fucking bought it.”

“Tom-“ Jordan started to protest again, but Tom dragged him up to the front desk without even pausing for a moment.

“My friend needs to see a doctor. He’s been having severe cold symptoms for a few days and just recently started coughing up blood.” Tom quickly gave the clerk the information he had managed to get out of Jordan. Jordan had to wait a few minutes before any doctors could see him, but Tom headed outside to try and clear his head for a moment.

“He said he was fine. I believed him. I’m such an idiot.” Tom groaned, running a hand through his short blue hair. “I’m so fucking stupid.”


“Mr. Maron has rather severe pneumonia.” The Doctor informed Tom, his face a mask of professional calmness. Tom’s heart dropped into his toes. On the other side of the glass, Jordan was sleeping peacefully in the hospital bed. Various tubes and machines were hooked up to him, and the stubble that had begun to grow on his face contrasted sharply with the white sheets and pale skin.

“Will he be alright?” He asked quietly. He’d stopped being angry several hours before, when he was told Jordan had been admitted into the ICU.

“He’ll be kept here for a few days, but he is expected to make a full recovery.”

“No lasting effects?”

“Not usually. He should be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I see dozens of patients with pneumonia every year, Mr. Cassell. He’ll be fine, I promise.”

Still Tom couldn’t help but worry as he watched his roommate (and crush) breathe in and out steadily. For the love of God, please don’t get worse than you are now.

Tom stayed overnight at the hospital one night before his other friends dragged him home. Still, even after that, he spent as much time in the hospital as he possibly could. On the second day, he was finally allowed to see Jordan again.

His roommate looked exhausted, lying in the hospital bed, but some color had returned to his cheeks at last.

“Hey dude.” Jordan murmured quietly.

“How are you feeling?” Tom asked, sitting down in the chair beside his bed.

“I’m not gonna lie to you, I feel like total shit.” Jordan replied, cracking a small smile.

“Glad we got beyond that.” Tom replied, rolling his eyes. “Dude, next time you get pneumonia, give me a little heads up ok?”

“The doctors said you’ve been hanging around here a lot.” Jordan said cautiously. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” Tom said. “I needed to know you were okay.”

“Tom.” Jordan said. “Normal people don’t do that for their roommates.”

“I do.” Tom said. Jordan was giving him a look- one that he was not sure if he liked or not. “I care about my… friends.”

“Tom.” Jordan repeated. “Can I ask you a question?” His face was deadly serious, and Tom’s pulse increased dramatically.

“Sure dude. Shoot.” Tom replied nervously.

“Forgive me for asking this, but it’s been bothering me a bit. Are you gay?” Immediately, Tom’s heart stopped. He felt like ice water had been dumped over his head. Jordan’s eyes widened. "Dude, if you aren’t it’s cool I was just wondering-”

“No! I mean yes- wait, no… Fuck.” Tom jumped to his feet. “I dunno man I don’t-”

“Tom if you aren’t it’s fine it’s just you’ve been so good to me the last few days and I needed to know before my heart got broken any more.” Jordan rushed out, his hoarse voice quiet in the empty room.

Tom blinked. “What? I broke your heart?”

Jordan rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Tom, I’ve had a crush on you since the beginning of the year. I figured that after you took care of me these last few days I owed it to you to be honest for once.” He sighed. “You can leave if you want.”

“Are you contagious?” Tom asked, blinking like an idiot just standing there after he froze just as he was about to leave.

“Not anymore, why do you-” his sentence was abruptly cut off as Tom kissed him on the lips with sudden eagerness. “Oh.” He whispered after Tom pulled away.

“Jordan, if you get sick and tell me you’re ‘fine’ ever again I will hurt you.” Tom muttered. “Don’t you dare scare me like that ever again. Promise?”

Jordan smiled. “No more lies, I promise.”

Inside Synesthesia: Closer Connections Between Brain Regions May Cause Senses To Blend 

By Dana Dovey

Around one percent of the general population experiences synesthesia — a condition which causes a unique perception of the world that is, for the most part, unimaginable for those without the condition. These individuals, known as synesthetes, will hear color and see sounds. Now a study suggests that the reason for this may lie in stronger connections between certain areas of the brain.

In a study conducted at the Australian National University, lead researcher Dr. Stephanie Goodhew and her team set out to understand how the brain of a synesthete interprets the world in comparison to the brain of an individual without the condition. In order to do this, Goodhew investigated how synesthetes handled word association.

Prior to the study, the team predicted that individuals with synesthesia would have a more concrete style of thinking that did not emphasize conceptual-level relations between stimuli. In reality, the exact opposite was revealed and the team found that those with synesthesia had much stronger mental associations between words than the rest of the world.

“For them, words like ‘doctor’ and 'nurse’ are very closely associated, where 'doctor’ and 'table’ are very unrelated — much more so than for people without the condition,“ Goodhew explained in a press release.

The team theorized that this may be due to stronger connections between certain parts of their brains, particularly between the areas believed to be associated with language and interpreting color, such as the occipital and temporal lobes. These close connections may cause a triggering effect to be put in place that makes a stimulus which would normally cause activity in just one area of the brain to do so in multiple.

Synesthesia is the involuntary joining of two or more different senses. These experiences vary from individual to individual. Some will explain always seeing the color red when hearing a bell ring, or explain that the sound of piano music “tastes” like coffee. For others, music has a visual property and they can see the air fill with sparkles and waves of colored lights whenever listening to a melody, Medical Daily reported.

The condition is not the product of an overactive imagination, but was rather brought about by the blending of different individual senses. Another hypothesis on the cause of synesthesia is that these individuals don’t simply have closer neural connections but rather excessive amounts of them. Known as the “hyper-connectivity hypothesis,” this theory goes on to suggest that it’s this hyper connectivity which may explain why individuals on the autism spectrum are more likely to have synesthesia than the general population.

Source: Goodhew SC, Freire MR, Edwards M. Enhanced semantic priming in synesthetes independent of sensory binding. Consciousness and Cognition. 2015.

article source 

The Day the Fandom Died (a.k.a. my personal breakdown of the new promo for Rebels season 2)

Okay. So now that I have successfully survived through four repeats of the new Rebels trailer, I am going to try and breathe normally (unlikely to actually happen for another 48 hours) and think. I have a few things I just need to at least put out here so I don’t slowly destroy myself thinking about them alone.

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