Merry Swunday!

And a Merry Swunday to you all! I hope you’ve had a great one. Personally, mine was pretty cool; got a Keurig one-cup coffee maker to feed my ever-growing addiction, a LEGO kit for The Burrow which is bloody great, and a Pride and Prejudice DVD so I don’t have to wait for it to come on TV to watch it anymore. AND I managed not to stab any of my relatives with a fork! 

Over the past few weeks we’ve explored on this blog The Christmas Sweater. What it is, what it means, and how it manages to be so awesome and so horrible at the same time. It’s been a wild ride. Well, maybe “wild” isn’t the best word. Nor “ride”, really. But it definitely has… uhh, been.

Anyway. If you recall, I promised at the beginning of Swadvent to add my own efforts to Christmas Sweaterdom. And I totally was going to do that for, like, two whole weeks after I said it. But then I thought about having to order all my yarn online, and then having to adapt a sweater pattern, and then it was like four weeks til Christmas, and sweaters take a really long time to make, and…

You see where this is going, right? I didn’t make the sweater. BUT. I did make this just-as-awesome if not AWESOMER hat:

It may not be a sweater, but it still has several Christmas Sweater attributes: it’s warm, it’s got a pom-pom on it, and it looks like the holiday season had one too many peppermint martinis and barfed up half-digested fruitcake all over it. 

So, with that lovely mental image still dancing in our heads, let’s some up. The Christmas Sweater is a double-edged sword. It can be incredibly cool and charming, or it can be the worst thing ever. But when it comes down to it, The Christmas Sweater is really just a chance to wear your love of Yuletide quite literally on your sleeve. 

So eat, drink, be merry, and wear Christmas sweaters. Your grandma is probably gonna make you, anyway.

Happy Swunday [Special Swadvent Edition]

Well, my friends. This penultimate Swadvent eve has most certainly been an eventful one. I have just returned from what can only be described as the social event of the season: The Wabbaseka Community Christmas Program. 

“But wait!” I hear you probably saying. “Isn’t the Community Christmas Program the one night a year when the citizens of the surrounding towns use their senility as an excuse to perform a painfully awful medley of overly-familiar carols and honky-tonk jigs?”

Why, yes. Yes it is.

Do you understand how ridiculous my life is now?

With the average age of the congregation being about 82, there were many hideous Christmas sweaters to be had. I thought of snagging a picture of one, but I decided it wasn’t worth risking getting hit in the face with a walker. So I didn’t. 

Instead, Cheeto wants to tell you something. 

Happy Swunday [Special Swadvent Edition]

‘Tis the season! Or should I say the SWEASON?

Okay, no, you’re right, I really shouldn’t. Sorry.

Today, as many of you probably know, is the first Sunday of Advent, and, consequently, the first Swunday of Swadvent, Ticket Out’s ode to the cultural icon that is the Christmas sweater. GET PUMPED.

Although some Christmas-y sweater patterns can be traced to the 1950s, what we think of as the “The Christmas Sweater” had its glorious heyday in the 80s. Their power was fueled by the fashions of the day (Cosby sweaters, anyone?), its nostalgia-conjuring powers (i.e. Grandma), and probably the fact that the 80s were just redonkulous anyway. 

But once everyone came down from their communal LSD high in the next decade, the TCS fell out of favor. And maybe for good reason: through all the various methods used to achieve the overly festive woolen masterpiece, the one thread that remains constant is the TCS’s general hideousness. 

But that very hideousness would prove to be the TCS savior in the Naughties, when Ugly Sweater parties became popular among the ironically-inclined young set. Since then, the hipsters have sort of colonized the TCS, wearing the vintage articles with pride and using them as inspiration, so much so that funkily-patterned knitwear has now become its own bonafide fashion statement. 

Upon Googling, I found a truly amazing website called The Rusty Zipper, a vintage clothing supplier that has a completely impressive and drool-worthy collection of “Ugly Christmas Sweaters”. +1 LOVE this. I don’t think my life will be complete until I have one of these sweaters. 

But, as they say, “Google giveth, and Google taketh away”. The next thing I found whilst searching the TCS was a book of the same title by none other than Glenn Beck. I’m not gonna link it because I hate that hideous little hog monkey. I was actually just about to toss my cookies over that when Google gave me the link to Cracked.com making fun of him, and my faith in humanity was restored. 

So, thus concludes the first ever first Swunday of Swadvent. I hope you leave knowing a little bit more about The Christmas Sweater. Now that we’ve gotten the hard facts out of the way, the remaining weeks will be completely donated to TCS-related fun. GET PUMPED. Uhh, again. 

“Isn’t the snow lovely? This sweater is cutting off my circulation!”