I open the fridge and curl my fingers around a cold orange. I toss it up in the air and catch it. The vividness of the color and the roundness of it reminds me of something.

            I am standing on a red kickball field and an orange ball arcs overhead, appearing for a moment to be the sun. The colors look brighter than usual and I

            I shake my head and start to peel my orange.

            The little girl I noticed on my first day is at the corner table with paper flowers not yet cut out, speaking solemnly to Bird and Allyson. Her hair is quite wavy, when it’s dry. I wander over near them.

            “I’m here because I said I wanted to kill my brother,” she says in her small voice, dark eyes carrying the ghosts of the overhead light. “But I didn’t do it. I didn’t even hurt him. They just sent me here anyway.”

            “Well, if you didn’t hurt him,” Bird says, “that’s weird. Why would they put you here?”

            “I don’t know,” the little girl says, opening her eyes wide.

            She says she’s not going home; that she’s going into foster care after this. I look at her small fingers and the butterfly jacket. The conversation moves to something else and she’s laughing and smiling and I can see her uneven little-kid teeth again. I walk away, carrying my half-eaten orange.

            “You want to play cards?” Michaell says.

            “I don’t know. What game?”


            “I don’t know that one.”

            “Well, you always have five cards in your hand, and this is your deck…”

             He wins; I’m too slow.

            “Well, it takes practice, anyway,” he says.

…and I am walking up a pathway to the playground. The sky is blue. Grass green. A red-headed boy. I thought I’d never seen anything more colorful than it looked that day and I walked around breathing, breathing it in, trying to take it and hold it inside my head before I lost it.

            But everything lost me right then.

I remember sitting in the hallway when I was twelve holding the telephone and shaking, pressed against the wall. I didn’t know the number. I hadn’t even thought of that. A picture of blue Windex burning behind my eyes. I still felt the plastic under my fingers. So close.

            I hadn’t gotten up for school that morning and my mother was angry. I didn’t get up for school a lot those days. “Who were you going to call?” she said.


            “She’s at work.”


            “You’re going to school,” she said.                               

            I called that hotline a few weeks ago, but I never did wait for them to pick up. This is a weird and unexpected thing, the wait music of suicide hotlines—which unbelievably does not resemble in any form, by the way, smooth jazz, like I’d been expecting, but instead is some kind of horrifying alt rock that goes up and down in a way that reminds me of an awful circus type of place.

            “They probably don’t have anything more to say than the shit everyone tells you,” I tell Michaell and Winona. “You know.”

            “Stay positive,” Michaell says in a high voice. He glances out the dayroom window from time to time, sketching a piece of pizza on the paper in front of him.

            “What’re you looking at?” Winona says.

            “Hm,” Michaell replies.

Rules: In a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. Tag [ten] friends, including me, so I’ll see your list. Make sure you let your friends know you’ve tagged them.

Tagged by sailorniou

  1. La Ratita Presumida (idk the author… there are a lot of versions tho)
  2. De la vez que Tito perdió su par - Minerva Ochoa
  3. Como Agua Para Chocolate - Laura Esquivel 
  4. The Magician’s Nephew - C.S. Lewis
  5. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll 
  6. Pedro y El Capitán - Mario Benedetti
  7. La Ciudad de las Bestias - Isabel Allende
  8. Las Batallas en el Desierto - José Emilio Pacheco 
  9. Myths and Folk Tales Around the World - Potter & Robinson
  10. Cuentos Completos/1 -  Julio Cortázar

Ahhh idk who to tag but here it goes— iilyoss ceciliaalejandraa ghost-kouhai belowtheraedar sunflowr-in-the-shade bookworms-assemble tea-and-cookies-please 

ok I don’t have many friends… but there do it f you like ; v ; 


from mygaydubstep

1) Where do you want to travel to the most?

i studied 3 years of french in college so i’d like to put it to some good use. je veux voyager à France.

2) If you could live in any game what would it be?

i’d say pokemon. honestly who wouldn’t want that? a lot of my favorite games also revolve around death so i don’t think i would want to really live in a scenario wondering if i will get exploded or shot at. 

3) Would you rather be deaf or blind?

blind. have you heard of ASMR?

4) Mac, Windows, or Linux?


5) Do you want a tattoo (if yes of what?)?

yes…but there are so many. check out Alberto Vargas’ work.

6) Random pointless fact about yourself.

i can vibrate my lips in a very interesting way…

7) Favorite Villain from any movie/game/tv show?

bioshock infinite….i won’t spoil anything for those who have not played. in addition there are some multiple twist to it that might be confusing to explain.

8) Winter, Fall, Spring, or Summer?


9) What’s the last (non-school related) book you read?


10) What’s your favorite smell?

rain, old bay spice and gasoline 

11) Have you ever loved someone?

yes and it hurts when the break your heart. 


1. who do you admire the most and why?

2. if you can go back in time at minimum a hundred years ago, who would you want to punch in the face, give a kiss, and sit down for a drink and spend an enormous amount of time talking to?

3. what human right is most important to you that you want to see changed for a better tomorrow?

4. name a book you wish you were a part of the cast?

5. what is the most shocking thing that you have read or seen in a book, movie or tv show? yes, spoilers are recommended. 

6. you can eat the most disgusting, most revolting, most unappealing thing ever and get anything you want, no limits, anything you want, or eat the most delicious, most heavenly, most mouth foodgasming meal ever and lose your most precious thing you love. what do you choose?

7. favorite couple you ship that needs to be canon? support your fandom!

8. one thing you want to accomplish before 2014 is over?

9. gas is free for you for the rest of your life but you have to drive the ugliest car for the rest of your life or you can have any car of your dreams, as many cars as you want, unlimited cars to switch and choose from for the rest of your life but gas is free for everyone except you, you get a bill every month that charges you an expensive fee. they track you so no way out of paying your bill or using gas. also you can’t sell your cars for money nor give them away. what do you choose?

10. favorite candy?

11. what’s your best pick-up line?

take-a-pebble what-is-your-perspective sunflowr-in-the-shade grenuj picture-yourself dougfromkc themauve-avenger thegrimmripper awwdish blakemichael mister-taxi

sunflowring said:

Congrats you were my 100th follower wooo haha ;) hope you're having a lovely day! Love your blog x

damn you deserve more followers than that, your blog is so nice!! thanks lovely, hope you’re having a good day too :*

tagged by sailorniou

  • Take a screenshot of your desktop
  • Don’t change anything.
  • Don’t delete anything
  • Tag 5 more people.

You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to ; v ; iilyoss ceciliaalejandraa ghost-kouhai sunflowr-in-the-shade belowtheraedar

wow it seems that I do have friends //trips