suitemilk

Morning Randomness: I'm Only Here For the Free Food
  • Today my job is having their annual Christmas celebration (don’t ask). I only came to work for the free food and to laugh at people. EVERYONE is invited…the big wigs, the upper peon class, and the help. Me and my work husband (the peons) like sitting with the help. They’re so entertaining, and they keep it real. No fake smiles. No obligatory forced chit chat about the weather. 
  • I just sneezed and it felt so good.
  • Mountain dew will be the death of me.
  • 4th bullet.
  • I started reading Invisible Monsters yesterday. So far, so good. 

suitemilk asked:

What do you suggest as far as dusting? I feel like once it's gone, it's only moved somewhere else and it's a perpetual traveling thing. Is it my paranoia?

Static dusters! I use Swiffer cloths to dust, generally. Also, keep in mind that if you’re using a rag, a little furniture cleaner or something else damp-ish will help the dust particles adhere to the cloth.

Oh, and vacuum. Always vacuum (or mop) after you dust so it doesn’t all settle on your floors.

That Awkward Moment When the Vice President Uses the Communal Microwave in Your Office:
  • Me:I wish she had a microwave in her office. This is so awkward. Three minutes and thirty seconds of small talk.
  • Co-worker:Yea that has to be extremely awkward: 1.) Knowing that your six-figure salary is being side-eyed by the peon you're having small talk with, 2.) You have the title of Vice President and an office the size of a small living room, with a table, but no microwave or mini-fridge/bar, 3.) You're developing cancer by standing at the microwave for a frozen meal that really isn't half the calories. It's just half the taste. Awkward indeed.

majestictheunicorn replied to your post: Sims story.

!!!! I do this too, my girl had an affair with a guy in his house in front of his girlfriend, then her husband found out, they couldn’t reconcile so he divorced her, and she got married and had 3 kids with her lover

*grabs popcorn* girrrllll that’s a real scandal yasss!! It’s boring to always make them lead perfect lives. I love Sims drama!! 

suitemilk replied to your postSims story.

This!

I’m about to make more scandals as soon as I finish this assignment!

theheartofadreamer replied to your postSims story.

Do you have Island Paradise yet??? Mermaids!!!

Omg mermaids!!! No I don’t, but that’s gonna have to be my next Sims purchase, I just finally got Supernatural. Vampires, zombies & lycans OH MY! (And fairies, and witches too!)

suitemilk replied to your postGoing on a date is equivalent to taking a test. …

And how did u do?

Well, it was a friendship date, but it went well.  Through our conversation (and his logical explanation), I came to the realization that that’s what dates are, essentially.  You test the other person in social situations for compatibility.  

I’m so socially awkward, and understanding the purpose had flown over my head more times than I’d like to admit.  I was too emotionally selfish (on past dates) to understand the bigger picture.   

I feel more prepared for it.. when it eventually happens. 

I just told someone that if I swallowed Diddy’s nutt I would turn into an all black unicorn with all the riches of the earth beneath my hooves because after all - this is Diddy’s nutt all over me.
—  Quill
It Was Ellen
  • Quill:So I made the mistake of playing Draw Something with an actual artist. This picture is really good. I would've never thought of it, but i don't know what the fuck the word is.
  • Me:What was the word?
  • Quill:I don't wanna hit pass.I think i will. It looks like a talk show host with blonde hair. A guy.
  • Me:Wendy Williams
…so i’m on the toilet this morning and i’m wondering if this is me peeing sitting down or a preface to [explosive diarrhea] then i read on my phone “what if Taylor Swift and Adele dated and then broke up” and then it all came out. tmi?
—  Quill
Girl. I mentally shat an orgasm reading that. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SHIT AN ORGASM? BLUEBERRY FUCKING CHEESECAKE FUCKING MUFFINS. THAT’S HOW.
—  Quill
Morning Randomness: Thrustday
  • IT’S QUILL’S BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  • My ringtone is Papa Was a Rolling Stone. I set it as a joke when my niece’s dad died (mostly because he has 3 children under a year old and 2 on the way), but now I’m too lazy to change it back.

  • This morning I actually uttered “so so suck my toe…all the way to Mexico”.

  • The only thing harder than being 24 is being 25.

  • There’s something wonderful about Wesley Snipes in a dress. 

  • I wonder when people will start buying that I’m 25.