The biggest liar in the world is depression and anxiety. They have the ability to fill your head with false thoughts and make them seem true without a shadow of a doubt. The first thing I would ask of you, is to not trust those thoughts. To see the words I am typing to you and realize they are the truth breaking free.
I have been where you are. I know for a fact that while it is happening, those thoughts could not seem more logical, more true, more convincing. BUT THEY ARE FALSEHOODS WRAPPED IN TRUTH. That is why depression and anxiety can be so damned clever.
You’re going to have a lot of platitudes thrown at you. Nuggets of pseudo-advice meant to help you. People who are trying to help, but offer nothing of substance. My biggest problem with these statements is that they are incomplete. They leave off the end bit because they think sugar coating things will keep you from doing something dangerous.
I think you should hear the entire statement.
"It’ll be okay — after a long time, a lot of work, and after asking for help."
"Things aren’t so bad — from an outside perspective, but inside your mind things are very much bad and should be taken very seriously.
"It gets better — but it may not get better forever. Life is full of ups and downs. You may have to face a down like this again in your life."
But here is the thing I want you to know.
You will get better at living life.
You will get better at coping. You will learn from this and know to get help sooner. You will develop skills and wisdom that will make these down times more manageable.
You can learn how to make your life worth living. And you should. You very much should. I can’t tell you how much I would have regretted things if I had made a different choice.
This choice… it isn’t an escape. An escape means you free yourself from this hard time and go on to somewhere else.
What you are talking about is an ending. You don’t get to see what’s next. Every bit of joy you may have had goes away. Your friends and loved ones don’t get to see you ever again. And if those lies in your head are telling you “they’d be better off” please, please don’t listen to them. People will miss you.
There is one platitude I do like. Time heals all wounds. You need to give your wounds time to heal. Right now they are raw and fresh and you just want the pain to end. But I ask that you believe me instead of the liars in your head. Life becomes more bearable. If you put in the work, you can learn to cope with some very hard things. Even this.
And as your reward for this hard work… the good things in life will be so much more sweet than you can imagine. You will cherish them so much more. The good in life will be intoxicating.
I ask that you do the hard work. That you begin right now by calling some people who will help you get started on this road.
Call the suicide prevention line. Talk to the experts. Let them find the help you need to get started.
They even have an online chat that you can use.
Talk to these people and give this wound some time to heal.
I am rooting for you. And so is everyone reading this. You are cared for.