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Are you a moralfuck? Too bad, I’m posting this shit anyway.


- Traxxious

2

If you don’t know who Hannah Hart is, firstly, you are missing out on a funny, witty and sexy lady! And secondly, check her out on YouTube for her hilarious “My Drunk Kitchen” video series, as well as her other funny and sometimes poignant videos. She also just started a subreddit for “My Drunk Kitchen,” which asks those of us who get inebriated and cook to post images of our masterpieces for everyone’s enjoyment.

Since I’ve done several logos for Reddit in the past (and as you can tell, I’m a huge fan of “My Drunk Kitchen”), I was recently in touch with the amazingly kind Hannah Hart herself to design her subreddit logo. I went ahead and made both of the designs she liked because when Hannah Fucking Hart likes something, who skimps on it? Anyway, here’s a hi-res/first look at the logos, one of which should be going up in the next few days on her subreddit! I hope everyone likes them!

Reddit NoSleep: Human by reddit user brainstorm032 ( x )

I once was a human

or perhaps a beast. I have done

terrible terrible things. To those I loved.

When I was a young age, my parents died. That left me

and my brother alone in this world. They moved us in with our aunt and uncle, who didn’t have time for us. My brother was older and always watched out for me. He kept me out of trouble and taught me everything he knew. I reflect fondly

of the time we spent together.

My biggest problem growing up was that I was overweight. Very overweight. But food was the only thing that made me happy. My brother became worried as my health deteriorated. As I look back now I realize my eating habits

were the cause of my demise. You know what they say. You are what you eat. My brother would say that too.

You are.

What you eat.

And I was a walking bag of grease and sodium. But I was happy. And human. For a time.

Until my brother got a girlfriend. He found someone he loved more than me. And I became an afterthought. I suppose looking back, I was at an age where I should have taken some responsibility. But I didn’t. And I became fatter

and fatter. I surrounded myself with my guilty pleasure. Until finally

my brother left me. To college. With his girl. And I was alone. He left me. Alone. I started being ridiculed at school. My aunt and uncle became abusive. My brother. Left me. And slowly

by slowly, I broke down. Alone. I remember the day. The day of

sorrow. Self loathing. Pity. I looked in the mirror.

For hours. And

I cried. And as I stared back at that disgusting pile of shit, I saw what I had become. And then became something else. Something

emotionless.

heartless.

vile.

Something

less than other men.

Something

that was not entirely

human.

A monster.

But yet. I saw too in those few glorious hours the meaning of life. I saw all that ever was and all that will be. I saw the world for its true state. I saw peace. And war. I saw babies born and men die. I saw the flowers and trees and grass and sun and rain. I saw everything and nothing. But most of all, I saw

beauty. The beauty of humanity itself. And in one swift moment, I knew. I knew what I had to do. To heal. To improve. I would be reborn. I would again become human.

And so I surrounded myself with my one true love.

Food.

And times changed. My brother and his girlfriend died in a car accident. My aunt and uncle were murdered in cold blood. One of my classmates went missing. And then another. Until finally

they took me away. To prison. And they asked me

why?

And I told them.

You are

what you eat.

And I wanted so badly to be human.

Reddit NoSleep: I Used to be a Stalker

By reddit user cmd102 (x)

We first met at a club. It wasn’t the typical “drink way too much and flirt with a stranger while hoping they’ll come home with you” thing. We really connected. We exchanged numbers, dated for a few weeks… But she lost interest. I didn’t, though now I wish I had. I was literally crazy about her. I couldn’t get her out of my head, and I was willing to do anything to see her again. The only problem was that she didn’t want to see me.

I didn’t physically follow her at first. I was content constantly checking her social media sites that she updated many times a day. When impersonal status updates weren’t enough to give me my fix, I started using her frequent “check-ins” to find out her favorite places and start frequenting them myself hoping to run into her. It worked a few times, but more often it didn’t. That’s when I started full on following her, and my world became a nightmare.

I had initially made it a rule not to go around her house. The last thing I wanted was for a neighbor to become suspicious and call the cops. I broke my own rule one night when I watched as she brought a random guy home from a bar. I was furious, and had every intention of telling the guy to fuck off when he left her house. I sat in my car and seethed all night, but he didn’t leave. The sun had just started to come up when I completely lost my mind and entered her house to confront them both.

I climbed in through a downstairs window and crept to her bedroom on the second floor. She was alone in her bed. I was sure he hadn’t left, so I searched the house for him. He was in the basement, hung from a rope and pulley system upside down with his throat slit. I ran from the house and called the police. I confessed my crimes of stalking and breaking and entering while they arrested my now-former obsession for a much more serious crime. I didn’t think the situation could be any more messed up. I was wrong.

She was eating people. She confessed pretty much right away, and they were able to confirm that she was telling the truth by testing the meat in her freezer. She would meet a guy, bring him home, drug him, and slaughter him. Four poor souls followed her home like poor horny puppies and ended up on her menu. When I was given this information, it occured to me that I couldn’t remember ever seeing her buy red meat when I followed her through the grocery store. Then I remembered that one of our dates was at her house, where she served steaks for dinner.

3

There’s an entire subreddit about Taylor Swift’s armpits

The forum was created roughly a year ago by a user who has since deleted his or her profile, but who apparently spoke up for themselves in the comments of this Daily Dot article about the subreddit, noting that they appreciate the entirety of Swift’s output, and not only the skin connecting her arms to her torso. “I do like all the work she does and not just her armpits (although I still to this day maintain they are very nice),” the purported creator said, before going on to add that he or she was also the progenitor of the equally specific, if somewhat more conventional, /r/taylorswiftbum. And though he or she has moved on to presumably greener, weirder pastures, the kingdom of /r/taylorswiftarmpit remains strong and unbowed in their absence, with more than 80 very specific pictures, with captions like “Taylor has been hiding her pits pretty good lately, so here’s an old one,” and “Giggles and Armpits” to lure in fans of one of the body’s #1 sweat-producing regions on one of America’s #1 musical stars.

Full story at avclub.com

youtube

Our All-Time Favorite Beauty Blunders in the Ultimate Makeup How-Not-to Video

We talk an awful lot about eye-catching beauty looks on the blog, and today we’re featuring a particularly bold one that caught our eye. Think of every beauty blunder you’ve ever committed—then imagine wearing all of them at the same time. YouTube beauty guru Sharon Farrell created that exact look in the video above using a list of makeup pet peeves from this forum on Reddit.

Suffice to say, it’s the ultimate tutorial in seriously awesome makeup snafus, from too-dark foundation and overly contoured cheeks to droopy eyeliner and goopy gloss. (I’m pretty sure I’ve committed at least three of these offenses over the years. My excuse: I grew up in the ‘90s!). Watch, learn, and love—we totally did. 

What's your makeup pet peeve?

—Candice

If you’re looking for a more serious tutorial in defining your cheekbones, we’ve got you covered. Here’s how to contour your face like a celebrity.