I wish that swinging was as easy as it sounds.

SWINGING…say it with me. It almost implies that it’s effortless.

Dangling, swaying, moving closer and closer to something you desire.

Alas, nope. it’s not that cut and dry.

If anything, it’s hard fucking work.

Between dating sites and taking pics to post on said sites in strategic lighting that make you look more model than mom and shaving or waxing all your lady bits and getting dressed in just the right dress that shows off all the goods whilst simultaneously hiding your desperation, and then the awkward convo and the weird flirting you attempt to do over cocktails mixed with house vodka while a Dj plays three year old music way too loud so conversation is always stinted and stupid and HOLY SHIT CAN’T WE JUST FUCK ALREADY??

Instead, the night ends with nothing but disappointments and shattered expectations because WHY IS IT SO HARD to find someone cute who doesn’t annoy you and who has clean finger nails and is dressed like he cares about himself and smells like he  put some effort into getting into your pants and who makes you feel all silly and cute and sexy so that your panties will just fall right off on their own?

I know I’m not a science major, but chemistry shouldn’t be this hard to find.

To answer nobody's question:

Alli went on with the following principal Elphabas, including those who were standbys or understudies at the time: Julia Murney, Lisa Brescia, Marcie Dodd, Nicole Parker, Jennifer DiNoia, Dee Roscioli, Mamie Parris, Jackie Burns, Donna Vivino, Vicki Noon, Willemijn Verkaik, Lindsay Mendez, and Christine Dwyer.

Separating Art And Artist

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by Erik van Rheenen, edited by Jesse Richman

Rewriting history is a tricky thing. Unless you’re Michael Jordan and can get away with chalking up a middling post-retirement career with the Washington Wizards and a laughable stint in minor league baseball to zany Technicolor aliens zapping away your athletic powers (along with Muggsy Bogues’ and Charles Barkley’s and, man, Space Jam hasn’t aged well), scheming up “what if?” scenarios is best left to drunken conversations and late night musings. 

But I still have some questions. When naïve, impressionable 15-year-old Erik found himself enamored with Broadway Calls’ haunting cover of “A Rush and a Push and the Land is Ours,” would he have shied away from delving headfirst into The Smiths’ impressive discography if he knew that the band’s enigmatic-but-talented frontman would eventually liken eating meat to supporting Nazi concentration camps? Would he have started tracing hardcore punk’s roots through Black Flag’s seminal Damaged if Henry Rollins had published his ill-conceived “Fuck Suicide” thinkpiece in the mid-2000s instead of in 2014? Would he have muted Kiss’s classic fist-pumper “Rock and Roll All Nite” from the Tony Hawk’s Underground soundtrack if he knew that Gene Simmons (who, granted, must have always been a little on the lunatic fringe to look like this onstage) would say that people suffering depression should kill themselves — or would he still sing along shamelessly in blissful ignorance?

Kiss aside — save for wasted Saturday afternoons spent singing along while trying to nail the 900, Gene and Co. were never a classic rock outfit I latched onto — the bands I mentioned make up a key part of my musical DNA. Black Flag introduced my younger self to the unbridled emotion of hardcore, and listening to The Smiths begat my genuine love for jangly, bleak indie rock. So  I have a tough time reconciling my appreciation of, and admiration for, the art with my raised eyebrows at the artists. Should I balk at my love for “There is a Light That Never Goes Out” to prove that my stance on the choice to eat meat differs from Morrissey’s? Do I boot Damaged out of my library because I think Henry Rollins’ statements on suicide are just uneducated, socially harmful ramblings?

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The Enterprise crew's best moments in Star Trek Into Darkness.

PSA to rtah fic writers: you don’t need to type out Gavin’s accent. 

  • you don’t need to type out Gavin’s accent
  • you don’t need to type out Gavin’s accent
  1. Gavin’s accent? You don’t need to type it out.
  2. you don’t need to type out Gavin’s accent

we know what it sounds like, and spelling words oddly just makes your work annoying and hard to read

Somewhere along the line, for reasons that are utterly beyond me, TV’s Adam Baldwin got involved. Do you know how weird it is to see an actor from a show you love repost conspiracy videos about how your sex life is somehow ruining video games? Pretty goddamned weird, it turns out. A friend suggested that ever since his stint as Jayne on Firefly, Baldwin is afraid of women named Zoe. That at least took the sting out of no longer being able to watch one of my favorite shows without scowling so hard I sprain my face.

I think the main reason I’ve started shipping Freewood like a maniac is that I’ve noticed that, while everyone else always dismisses Gavin’s dumb sentences as idiocy, Ryan always takes the time and asks and tries to get Gavin to explain in a more understandable way, and it’s fucking adorable.

Watch on metalsaddles.tumblr.com

okay, why is tumblr not in love with Jack & Dean yet let’s get this going

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