CS AU [Part 1/2]: Henry is really excited to go on a vacation to Storybrooke when Killian comes to New York. But, the longer he’s there and leaving isn’t in sight, he starts to get homesick and miss his almost-stepfather, Walsh.
TIL in 2009, a 9yr old girl was raped by her stepfather and got pregnant with twins. It was a very risky pregnancy and she had an abortion. The Catholic Church excommunicated the girl, her mother (who authorized the abortion) and all doctors involved in the process. Her rapist wasn’t excommunicated.
Amber: I had to make a decision, you know? Like we all had to do…I mean it’s not easy for anyone and that’s part of the problem. And I had to ask my self: “Am I part of the problem?”. I see all of these actors, people I work with, people I know, that are living two lifes, and one of which is secret and I can’t help but think that if I’m hiding something then I’m ashamed of it. I think that if you’re hiding anything, no matter how good your reason is, then you are ashamed of it…and I was soo tired of seeing adolescents taking their lifes because they couldn’t understand that it gets better. Part of the reason they didn’t understand that is because they’ve got no role models, they’ve got no people really confirming that it does get better and that “it’s ok to be how you are, you are born that way.” […] This is who I am, and who I love…I’m never gonna apologize for that, or hide it, because it’s not wrong and I don’t feel ashamed of it. I have a lot to risk, and a lot of people who have come before me had a lot to risk. I can’t help but think I have to stand up for what’s right, since…I’d rather go down for doing what’s right then to rise for doing what’s wrong. (X)
Blair: No it’s not. It’s horrible. I thought that if I could finally say it that everything would change but he’s jut as selfish and soulless as ever. Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist. Help me.
Cyrus: You don’t need help. He just needs time.
Blair: Wait, not enough.
-Favorite Scene 2x13 Part 4: O Brother, Where Bart Thou?
I asked my friend Glen to write about his experience suddenly becoming a father to a grown boy. Here’s his story…
Having Jaden By Glen Starkey
I was 50 when I first married, acquiring—along with my bride—a 10-year-old boy named Jaden who felt not so much that he was gaining a stepfather as that he was losing his mother. Suddenly his mother had someone. What did he have? Less attention from his mom and some dude whose house he now lived in.
It wasn’t as if his father wasn’t in the picture. His dad, an excellent but underemployed musician, lived—still lives—in a tree house and can supply little to his son’s welfare beyond emotional support and a weekly outing or two.
What did I know about fatherhood, or even step-fatherhood? I’ve never had kids before. I’d only lived with a woman once before, about 25 years prior, and that lasted a whopping, painful six months. Not only was I navigating for the first time a truly committed romantic relationship, I also had a little man in my life, and I could barely remember what it was like to be 10.
I guess I should backtrack for a moment. It wasn’t like my relationship with my wife was some whirlwind. We dated for seven months before she and her son moved in, lived together for a year before I asked her to marry me, and were engaged for another year before we tied the knot. I’ve known Jaden since he was eight, and this summer he’ll turn 12. We haven’t killed each other yet… so that’s good.
Of course, my relationship with Jaden has, like all relationships, gone through ups and downs. I’ve tried to be his pal. I’ve been forced to scold him when he misbehaves. It’s been difficult getting him to pitch in and help out around the house. He’s an only child who’s spent a lot of time with his doting grandparents, so our house can feel repressive to him, even though I think we sometimes spoil him rotten. Buying his “love” is a trap. I know this. It’s all a challenge. But I’ve tried to find ways to make it work and to build a closer relationship.
When he and his mother first moved in, I asked a friend whose marriage had just been destroyed by his wife’s teenage son if he had any advice for me. His stepson had so grown to hate him, my friend feared for his life… or for what he might have to do to his stepson to defend himself. He told me, “Touch him every day and tell him you love him every day.”
Yeah, the touching thing seemed a little creepy to me too, but I started to put my hand on Jaden’s shoulder when I’d see him, bump into him a bit when we walked somewhere, and squeeze him onto the couch when we watched TV. I told him every day, “I love you, little man,” and he’d say back, “I love you, man.”
I don’t have any magic formula for dealing with the reality of suddenly having a kid in your life. It’s a day-to-day thing. Sometimes it can be tough. I look at his face and I see my beautiful wife and I see Jaden’s dad. I don’t see me. I’m not in there. Jaden doesn’t act like me; he doesn’t think like me; sometimes I don’t think he thinks at all.
He can sometimes be an insolent little dick. I keep waiting for him to scream, “Fuck you! You’re not my dad!” It seems like he’s 11 going on 14. But I try to focus on all the things I like about him. Like me, he can be sensitive. He cares about other people and animals. He worries about the fate of the world. He likes to draw and create. He’s smart and funny. He also has his dad’s talent for music, and when he sings in his sweet, high voice and plays his ukulele, I swell with pride and tear up at how good he is even though I know I have nothing to do with those talents.
Every single day I try to remember he’s my kid now, too. My son. My responsibility. When I made a commitment to his mom, I made a commitment to him. I’ve always believed that love isn’t just an emotion; it’s also a decision. And I’ve decided on love.