Summary Of The Dance Tonight:

So Billy didn’t come which is a WHOLE lot of drama I don’t want to get into.

And to those friends who say they are going to beat him up: I LOVE YOU BUT PLEASE AVOID THE NOSE AND MOUTH. And I haven’t gotten his side of the story yet.

So what do you do at a dance without a date?


demonsofslash and steampoweredtimelord both know what I’m talking about

I’ll let them tell their stories though.

The rest was just crappy music, shouting lyrics, and awkward dance moves.

That’s it for me tonight.

My phone ate the ask earlier even though I published the answer so I’ll clarify what I said in this post. It was along the lines of: ‘How comes you’re sick almost every night?’ and to be honest, a lot of factors contribute but I’ll try clear it up to all my followers as they’re probably confused as to why I’m always panicking. 

Basically most of you know I have a phobia of vomiting which really amplifies any nausea I do get. Most of the time it’s psychological and I force stomach pains upon myself with the anxiety. However, I also have IBS which means I’ll get a fair bit of stomach cramping which kicks off the nausea and anxiety. It’s a big vicious cycle. 

Another thing is PMS. I almost always get nausea, especially over the last year the symptoms have gotten worse. I used to only get regular cramps but now I get nausea at least a week before and a week during so that’s a big block of time per month with nausea, low appetite and acid build up. I’m on medication for the nausea but it doesn’t really help much. I should be going to the doctors this week to get the contraceptive implant (because it didn’t have nausea as a side effect) and hopefully it should stop my periods and any pms that comes with it. (TMI subject I know, sorry). 

Other things may be medication side effects. So far most meds I’ve been on, I’ve come straight off because they give me acid reflux. Such as: Fluoxetine (anti-depressant), Risperidone (? Anti-anxiety) and the pill especially. If nausea is listed as a side effect, I’ll get it and even with the anti-as and ds it’ll just make the anxiety and depression worse because I feel like I’m going to vomit and can’t eat. 

I don’t really know why I always feel sick. I’m really concluding most of it to periods and the anxiety and hopefully with the periods gone I’ll be able to get the anxiety part under control. I haven’t actually vomited in 3 years (Heck, I even remember the date being 27th of May 2009) so the anticipation of the time I’m actually going to throw up makes me blow the nausea out of proportion. Most people could probably carry on their day feeling like I do and might not even notice it and I’m starting to shrug off the small cramping feelings etc as normal but there are times I really do feel like I’m gonna puke, like today and last night.

I hope that clears it up. I’m not sure if most of you know what’s going on when I start spamming posts about feeling like I’m going to puke. It’s just a coping mechanism to keep my mind active and off the feeling. I’m a firm believer in saying ‘This too shall pass’ to myself because it will. Puking doesn’t last forever, it’s not nice and no one likes it but it will eventually stop if I was to throw up. 

You also said that they make you sad, don’t let the posts do that. I’ll be fine, always am in the end. I’m not going to give up on life because I really wanna go far and do what I enjoy. I’ll be well and back at college in September ready to pursue my ambitions to be a zoo keeper or working with birds of prey. Plus, in the new year we’re getting a harris hawk to keep me company. I’ll have to fly it every day and feed it so that should help me cope with my anxiety even more. I have way too many things to look forward to to give up (including MCM expo in May).

Thanks for the concern though. I’ll be alright, thanks for caring.