Wayfaring: Am I ok talking freely in front of mom?
Teenager: Yeah, she knows everything. We don’t keep secrets.
Wayfaring: Ok, well we called you back in because you have gonorrhea and we need to treat you and your partners.
Mom: ok, but all they have to do is take an antibiotic, right? Or is this one that you’re stuck with forever?
Wayfaring: Fortunately this is one you can take an antibiotic for, but let’s talk about the others for a minute. (Explains other STDs, discusses more permanent conditions like HIV and herpes, discusses risk of PID and infertility, encourages condom use, blah blah.) I also encourage you to tell all your sexual partners so that they can be tested and so that you don’t run the risk of being re-infected. Our state doesn’t contact partners anymore.
Teenager: Will you tell him?
Wayfaring: I will if you give me written permission to call him—
Teenager: No, he’s here. I’ll just bring him in. *brings him in*
Wayfaring: Well dude, we brought you in here to tell you that your partner here has gonorrhea and you should be tested as well.
Mom: Just think dude, one day years from now you’ll look back on this and laugh and say, “remember that time you gave me the clap?”
Mom and teenager: