I wish my voice box would work in Austin

I am told I am an idiot. This is not done explicitly, mind you, but rather by virtue of ‘objective’ numbers and data. I do not fit the standardized mold. I do not feel accepted. 

I once received great marks in school via standardized testing. That day is largely departed. This repetition has inculcated a pathway so strong, it 'conducts’ nearly 24 hours a day. It is now a facet of my identity. So, naturally, I search for signs that suggest I am not an idiot.

I do not fit in with you because I do not feel like you. I am uncomfortable because I simply know not how to relate. I fixate. I have long drawn out thoughts. I associate Freudian explanations to possibly unrelated issues. I do not usually act with haste. I am slow. I take my time.

I am not fast like you. I do not retain information nearly as easily. “I don’t know.” I do not have your sense of humor. I am not cheerful nor confident nor sprightly anymore. I have changed. My scar tissue is exposed. Even those not looking can see it.

My final clutch is the desire to become something great. To hold onto the idea that a 4.0 does not guarantee success nor humanitarian accomplishments. I am not cut out for the 'hardcore academics’ and research. But perhaps I can still make something of myself yet.

Revisiting home makes me feel like I belong in a place I once sought to abandon. I did not enter Pharmacy school particularly close to my El Paso classmates. Frankly, they are far more competent than I am, and I wish them all the success in the world. There is certainly a place for me here. There is certainly much to be done.

“I have never been able to remember for more than a few days a single date or line of poetry. [instead, he had] the patience to reflect or ponder for any number of years over any unexplained problem… At no time am I a quick thinker or writer: whatever I have done in science has solely been by long pondering, patience, and industry.” Charles Darwin

Another way to post text is through a Chat Post
  • Lenny:Are you following all this? Maybe we should stop.
  • Eunice:I'm listening.
  • Lenny:But are you understanding?
  • Eunice:I've never really learned how to read texts. Just to scan them for info.
Lael buys OCN 7.74: Ocwen Financial Announces Amendment to Senior Secured Term Loan

“ATLANTA, April 17, 2015 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) – Ocwen Financial Corporation, (NYSE:OCN) ("Ocwen” or the “Company”), a leading financial services holding company, today announced that it has entered into an amendment to its Senior Secured Term Loan (SSTL …“ said Kyoko to Janean on Monday, April 27, 2015.

"My dear Miss Janean,” said Kyoko, “have you heard that DSUT went up to 224.94?”


Janean replied that she had not.

“But it did,” said Kyoko. “EYE Lighting Awarded Bid from Los Angeles Bureau of Street Lighting for City’s Post-Top Applications “Municipalities have told us their lighting systems are important to their residents … The products are specified by lighting designers, utilities, municipalities, lighting management and energy service companies, and are used in commercial and …”

Janean, with a look of haughty composure, made no answer.