Yo life just excites me so much I can’t wait to go to college and learn new things and meet cool people and fall in love and get married and wear a pretty dress with beading and get to do my dream job and travel and ugh
[squidward voice] krabby patties? how disgusting, what a load of (trips) (hundreds of pictures of krabby patties spill out of jacket) what miserable- these aren’t mine. i’m just (gathering them up frantically sweating) no i don’t like- listen, I just. listen (hundreds more pictures of krabby patties scatter across the floor) no wait I’m holding these for spongebob just LISTEN.
oh wow I’m just as surprised as you to find out that there’s someone else!
i…. just want a fic where like the two of them cross paths and spar with each other and matt wants to hate him and beat him up bc pietro’s like super cocky but *squidward voice* OH NO HE’S HOT and matt gets all flustered and i’m just rambling but damn it can’t someone just write ONE FIC i mean just ONE