spluge

Two Bullets

Sitting at my desk at work… grateful for my job, however it is a job that I am overqualified for but far too lazy to be working elsewhere. Sitting here waiting for some passion to slap me in the face like a giant dong and spluge the job of my dreams all over my face. My day usually consists of me surfboarding the web and fixing the mistakes of the senior receptionist… senior as in old age (bless her soul). I often find myself sitting here thinking that if Michael Scott walked in with a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler and Bin Laden I hope he would shoot me… twice. But today that sour ‘tude changes. Happiness isn’t going to find me. I have to find happiness. From now on everyday I am going to shoot my negative thoughts… twice… and beam happiness like a gay unicorn.