I don’t know you, but I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me and always fool me
And I can’t react

 I’ll Ship it In the Afterlife Picspam: Part I  


anonymous asked:

Do you believe in soulmates or fate?

Sort of.

I believe that life has paths. Like time, I believe that fate is relative.

I believe that we are born with almost a… grab-bag of events… so to speak… and that those events are all encompassing. the majority of them will probably never occur, but that, call it God, fate, destiny, or what have you,  whatever it is… will provide these moments… these… blips of quantum opportunity, where the paths of infinite individuals in infinite ways may, or may not cross your path. Where ideas, inventions, revelations may, or may not come… These things… these grand evolutions of our individual psyches, and existences have influences that may be instant, or may not fully take effect for years to come.

We sometimes, I believe, have suggestions on our paths. Moments that reoccur… items that keep popping up in our existential trail, sometimes people, sometimes opportunities, any number of things, they can be, but for us they have ample significance from the start, and only grow. durnesque-esque is a prime example of that sort of cosmic, or divine suggestion. A repeated anvil dropped from an increasingly greater height until you finally understand/are ready to understand their true relevance, significance, and importance to your particular path, because humans, comparatively to a cosmic being(s), are dumb as hell. We (Sarah, and I) met a number of times, and came across each other’s paths for years before either of us considered joining one another’s trail, much less becoming a single unit.

Now, does that mean that I believe in predestination? No. I believe that all stories have a beginning, and an end, but that there are infinite endings, infinite beginnings, and infinite options along that path. What I do believe is that whatever deity,or deities may have laid out your particular “grab-bag” knows, has known, and will know every option, every detail, and every facet. I believe it (life) is a metaphorical quantum engine of divine possibility, and the calculations had to be detailed before your particular journey in the machine was programmed in. God, as I believe, is a benevolent entity of pure creative force who gives human-kind free reign over its own fate, despite capacity for direct influence, much in the same fashion as a parent to a child.

Our existence, I believe, is an incomprehensibly large illustration of parenthood, where God is constantly trying to give us the best tool-set, the best options, the best everything, but it’s ultimately up to us to see, choose, take, understand, etc…

Imagine the capacity for love of a parent who brings into existence this person, whoever they may be, who goes on to make one decision that spirals out, and its tendrils effect an unimaginable number of individuals, and those decisions, however small, have innumerable impacts on the existences of the rest of humanity for the rest of time, but that deity still looks at the rest of its creations, and, while pained at the actions of that one or of many, it still loves, still gives, still hears, and still holds its flock when it needs it most.

Perfect example: Some artist trained some other, who trained and studied their whole life only to have their study and training culminate in telling a young boy named Adolf that he was mediocre. That young boy grew to hate that artist, and his own father’s lack of care, and his own weakened psyche created the perfect breeding ground for untold, however unfounded, hatred for not only the previously stated artist, but that artist’s bloodline, and, eventually, entire people. This coupled with education, influence, and a perfect societal climate in Adolf’s home country laid the perfect scenario for something truly tragic to become a lasting identity for an entire nation, and a lasting scar for an entire race. Even amid the horror inflicted, however, there was an equally infinite number of laudable, incredible acts of goodness, charity, wonder, grace, humanity, love, honor, bravery, etc. that allowed a generation to be called “The Greatest.”

This, in my mind, is the beauty, and the horror of attempting to comprehend “fate,” however: if one thing is set, the so, too, is everything else. If God is a loving god, and gives, cares, and holds… why does that same deity so flippantly take away? How can they be the same god?

For me, it’s simply this: God gives. God gives infinitely… It is we who take away. We things on this earth, we imperfect beings, we innocent many, we unknowing, instinctual denizens of earth, and the cosmos that do as mortal, fleshy creatures must. Ours is mortality, and through it we have the power to destroy the works of a divine being(s), or glorify them. To love, and encourage, or break and tear down… We are, according to my faith, granted a power only God, apart from us, has ever had: free will. Through that will, we have the capacity to be of Godly benevolence, or of mortal baseness. That, I believe is beautiful. What a strangely fitting, and glorious thing, that this being that creates, and could demand beyond reasoning, chose rather, for life, to allow.

We are so many curving, weaving threads of a relative tapestry of all existence, and our strings are spun of both increasing and decreasing threads of unknowable quantity and variety. That is what I believe.

What a beautifully colorful construction of hope and love we are.


Jhené Aiko: Eternal Sunshine // Behind The Scenes

Don't Touch Me

Aaron had loved Haley with all his heart. She wasn’t his soulmate… the birthmark on his collarbone and the one on her shoulder didn’t match, but the odds of finding the one were about one in five thousand. Most people never met theirs. They had been happy. Until they hadn’t been.

Beth had been beautiful too, but the first time she had touched him had been on his hand, and he knew she wasn’t the one. But he had loved her anyway. Aaron had spent a lot of time not letting women touch his chest, because the thought of someone touching the puzzle piece birthmark on his chest terrified him. 

After Beth had gone, Aaron had figured that he’d used up his allotment of love. Two perfect women had been enough. And then Spencer pushed him. They had been fighting about Spencer taking off his kevlar to talk to an UnSub and Aaron was furious. Spencer shoved him, hand connecting with the mark right under his left clavicle, right over his heart.

His world shook. They hadn’t touched before. Contact in workplaces was kept to a minimum. But now… now… Aaron staggered backward, more than the force of the hit directed. “Spencer?” He asked in a terrified whisper.

When the universe was created, 
you and I were separated. 
Atoms, dancing through space, 
twisting and turning and straining, but
never ever touching:
Oh, a sorrowful dance indeed!

When the universe was created, 
you and I reached out for each other. 
Fingers brushed, hearts almost touched, 
but oh: Our souls are forever intertwined. 
When the universe was created, you and I
were torn apart. 

Sometimes, I see you in another life: 
Sometimes, you and I end up together. 
Sometimes, you and I touch, for a brief lifetime, 
and then you are whisked away from me. 
My soul knows yours, however, no matter
what shape you may take––

Whenever my soul sees you, it whispers to me: 
––Ah, there you are; I have been looking for you
since the dawn of time itself.

—  On having a soul-mate: Once, our atoms were together at the dawn of time. (CNS)

“Look,” he said, “I think you misunderstand me. In fact, I don’t think that you get me at all.

You see, you think I have these terrible misfits and disagreeable moods - you think I can’t wait 5 more bloody minutes for you to get ready.

But the truth is,” he said, “I would wait 2 goddamn hours in your driveway for you just to use the toilet. I wouldn’t want to. Hell, I’d hate it. But for you, I’d wait forever.”

—  what he said when I was angry at him for being angry
Ecstasy and love are not the same thing. We often get them confused. There are some connections that open us so wide that we cannot help but call them love. But they may not be. They may just be a transcend-dance, an invitation to delight, the heart opening that we so desperately needed after years encased in armor. We call certain people into our lives to awaken us, to reheart us, but that doesn’t mean they are the beloved. If a love is real, it is a portal to the everything, excavating light and shadow from their hiding places. The glory and the gory rise in unison, calling us to the sky and the earth in one fell swoop. Love is far more than floating to the heavens on a dreamy magic carpet. Love is sustainable. Love is inclusive. Love has feet that walk it through time
—  Jeff Brown
The signs and their celebrity soul-mates

Aries: Betty White

Taurus: Steve Buscemi

Gemini: Frank Iero

Cancer: Kristen Stewart

Leo: Richard Hammond

Virgo: George Bush

Libra: Kevin Jonas

Scorpio: I dunno something basic like Channing Tatum or Megen Fox or something.

Sagittarius: Britney  bitch

Aquarius: Shamu the whale

Capricorn: Tom Hanks

Pisces: Vin Diesel

When Johnny saw Winona for the first time he was 26 and she was 18. They were every adolescent’s dream - he was a teen idol and she was little more than a teenager. They knew of one another through their movies but they met in person at the premiere of Great Balls of Fire, Winona wore white and was in the hall drinking a Coke. “It was a classic glance,” said Depp, “like the zoom lenses in West Side Story, and everything else gets foggy.” “It wasn’t a long moment – echoed Winona - but it was suspended.”

They met again several months later at Johnny’s ‘home’ at the Chateau Marmont and they talked about their mutual love ofCatcher in the Rye and the soundtrack from The Mission. A week or so later their union was blessed during their first official date, by the LSD guru, Timothy Leary, who, just like in a screenplay of a dark rom-com, was the godfather of “I have never had a boyfriend and I stay at home with my mum and watch old movies”Winona and the idol of the Beat Generation “I finished trying out all the drugs there were at 14" Johnny. 
Shortly after that she had a ring on her finger and he had “Winona forever” tattooed on his biceps.

She said things like: "When I met Johnny, I was pure virgin. He changed that. He was my first everything. My first real kiss. My first real boyfriend. My first fiancé. The first guy I had sex with. So he’ll always be in my heart. Forever. Kind of funny that word."  
He responded with: ”I’d die for her. I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s going through a lot right now. I wish I could just kiss away the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! If she, you know, I don’t know what I would do. I’d kill myself. I love that girl. I love her. I love her almost more than I love myself.” Or: “Believe me, this Winona Forever tattoo is not something I took lightly…Her eyes kill me”.