This doesn't even make sense.
Man… I don’t think I will ever watch this movie again.
In the story, the kids lose their mother. And when the father and son her in to it about moving and stuff and what it really is, is about how the son reminds the father of the mother… It really gets to me.
This whole movie is a trigger for me…
I mean… My mum is still alive… But ever since she got her current boyfriend/common law husband, it’s pretty much felt like she’s been gone.
All through grade eight straight to college, I was depressed, I stopped eating a lot in grade 12 and in college, and I constantly thought of suicide, even tried it, but I was too afraid. But what really got me was I tried my hardest in school, I honestly did. But between mum and I not having a good relationship and in my grade 12 year depression and a bunch of pointless drama happening and me losing most of my friends I had had since grade 6, I had a really hard time even getting up out of bed and trying to get dressed let alone getting good grades. I mean, I spent a lot of time alone and crying at school… And I feel really pathetic just looking back on how I was.
I will admit… Sometimes I think back and I’m like… “Man, I really miss Kelso, Bev, Phil, Shelley, and Ellen.” But then I remember, people change. And I also realize, I have friends here and now who I love and would not trade for the entire world.
I remember one day a good friend of mine named Cory had said that I was the reason I had no friends… And the day he said that I was so hurt… But you know what, he was and is right. I was foolish. I did what people told me to do and that resulted in the termination of those friendships. I learned to not do what someone says is okay to do because they will just turn around and tell everyone they never said to do it.
I also remember these two male teachers I had.
These two men were more father like to me than my own father. Which is funny, because after leaving high school,
I found out that one just felt sorry for me because I cried to him one day about the flutist and her group of friends in band for making fun of me all of the time… And because my mum had a serious accident that year.
And the other… Well, he only liked students with a high IQ or who were good singers for the musicals. And really, I was neither. But again, it felt like at the end of the day, he was just being nice because of what happened to my mum… Maybe I am wrong though… I am just going off the vibes they gave me… But I loved these two teachers, a lot. They were there.. Always when I needed someone to talk to. And I would still talk to them today as if nothing was any different… Because that’s how I am.
Everyone felt bad because I could have lost my mum… And I didn’t need anyone’s pity. I really didn’t. But hey what can you do.
I remember one day, I was in music class and we were doing presentations… It was my old friends Nick’s turn and after he had finished I said “You did really well, Nick!” And he got mad at me because at the time he was a good friend with the flutist. That day I had the worst breakdown ever. I ran out of class because that was my last straw. That was my breaking point. I left and I called my best friend Sheri, I told her that I needed her. And we went where no one would see me break down and bawl my eyes out. And for a solid hour, I just cried. It was so insane…
Even now, I look back and think about all the times I was going through hardships, I would just stay silent at home and that pissed my mum off so much… But how can you talk to someone who, for seven years threatened to kick you out because her boyfriend didn’t like you. Like he said right in front of her that I was, “A useless piece of shit and there was no point in me even being there.” And I looked at her and told her that was it, I no longer had respect for him, that I was moving in with Dad or Nan… And she flipped out at me. Why would 14 year old me have respect for someone in their 50’s who says something like that?! Really…
And I think this is the end of my random rant that doesn’t make any sense. All of it comes back to mum getting mad at me for me not having friends but wanting them back, or wanting the approval of those two teachers or being nice to her man. What ever it was..
simplyazuma blackmetalluna1349 teatime-andtravels winchesterswaifu chronicles-of-a-nerd tankengine96 revengeofthespock princessbevry n3st and everyone else, I want to thank you for being such a big part in my life. You’re all great people and I love you all dearly. Even if we don’t talk anymore. But I wish you all the best in your lives. Maybe our paths will cross again someday. 💓