soprano

Chorus Class
  • Basses:in eternal limbo with the teacher as they try to fix that one single note nobody can get right
  • Baritones:nonexistant; basses consume all
  • Tenors:"and tenors get the melody!" said no chorus teacher ever
  • Altos:pissed off at every soprano ever because of the upper seconds, will bring about the altogeddon
  • L2 sopranos:all died three classes ago. cause of death confirmed to be suffocation by pedal tone
  • U2 sopranos:thinks they run the class; constantly asks if notes are "a little high" for altos
  • First sopranos:a mass of dusty corpses, died waiting for the teacher to finish instructing the other sections. autopsy revealed burns on the larynx

HOW TO DATE AN OPERA SINGER:

So you found a new match. Congratulations! You are on your way to the happily ever after you’ve always wanted. But.. there’s a catch. Your new found love is an opera singer. How do you deal with this new, delicate creature?


1. Do not go to every performance. This sounds counter-intuitive but unless it’s at a major house opening night, let them tell you about it. Send flowers.

2. Never refer to it as a “hobby”. If you do, send flowers.

3. Don’t worry if you don’t understand the details of what they are upset about. They just want you to listen. Really. They are singers. Send flowers.

4. Don’t ever tell them they are being overly dramatic. (You may at anytime comment on their subtle nuances of emotional reactions.) If you do, send flowers.

5. Keep a good supply of room temperature bottled water. (Cold water shrinks the cords)

6. Learn a few phrases in italian. But not enough to make them look bad.

7. Clear your bookshelves. Learn to love large amounts of books, scores and even old cds. A romantic trip to IKEA is always a favorite bonding experience.

8. They are the pretty one in the relationship.

9. Get to know their accompanist. If they don’t like you, you’re doomed.

10. Find a few great restaurants that they can brag to their friends about that you took them. Singers are foodies.

Good luck and know that singers are people too. Keep your OS close. Let them know you are their biggest fan. And make sure you know their allergies before you send flowers.

—  from the Opera Candy website: http://www.operacandy.com/how-to-date-an-opera-singer/  I love that blog!  Get a laugh!
Pretty much every highschool choir
  • 1st soprano:*sings melody, complains about how hard it is and how high it is. Is unable to sing harmony at all*
  • 2nd soprano:*sings the same note like, the whole time*
  • Alto:*no matter how many there are, you can never hear them*
  • Tenor:*is like an alto but, you can hear them*
  • Bass:*is just in choir for the art credit*

Hey guys, 

Sorry to be super annoying, but if any of you play an instrument or sing is there any chance you could fill out my questionnaire about gender bias within music? www.surveymonkey.com/s/LT6DN28 Even if you can’t, could you please reblog the link and share it around so I can hopefully reach as many musicians as possible? It’s for an assignment that I have to give a presentation for on Monday and I am completely terrified because I haven’t done anything much on it yet!

thanks!

youtube

This brought me much joy today: operatic soprano Angela Brown covers “All About That Bass,” accompanied by the string trio Time for Three.