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I’m a Rower - SSU Parody of Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy”

Why Sonoma State?

So Sonoma State is pretty damn awesome. Despite it’s reputation for snobby white girls, and douchey guys, its proven itself to be rather unique. 

I mean, take our library for example: 


Right off the bat, looks nice right? RIGHT. But what you don’t see on the outside is the state-of-the-art Book Retrieval system. There are only three in the United States, one being in the Library of Congress, and the other in some university called Santa Clara (who cares). 

But thats not all. Heres our Green Music Center:

Fancy as all hell, huh? HELL YEAH ITS EFFIN FANCY.  Firstly, look at the sucker- gorgeous! Secondly, lets just say that some pretty top notch people want to come and test out the brand new acoustics that are said to be some of the best in the WORLD. Who knows, maybe even Beyonce will grace us with her presence. 

And here are some other pretty AWESOME parts of campus. This includes our AWESOME student housing, our badass rec center (complete with giant rock climbing wall), and our ivy cover buildings that sorta kinda look like prisons (but we love em anyway).

AND LAST BUT NEVER EVER EVER LEAST:

OUR BACON STATUE!

Folks, this ain’t a joke. There is an actual student-made statue smack-dab in the middle of campus this is purposely made to look like a strip of bacon. 

I mean, if you aren’t sold on Sonoma State University you are a strange individual. 

I thought I was going to have myself a nice little evening reading House on Mango Street. However, it seems the person who used my rental copy before me was a pretentious little protist who decided to “correct the grammar.” Seriously. They put in quotation marks and commas, changed words, and even wrote in “Does she think she’s special or something by ignoring the punctuation and grammar?” And they did this in pen. I just spent the past hour going through the book and whiting out all of their “corrections” because I like to read art as it was intended. It’s not a very long book, at barely over one hundred pages, but it was enough. I wonder if this person even got the story at all. If they’ve taken any sort of literature classes at all, they’d know that how characters speak is one of the most important things. A lesson to you all: if you absolutely must because you’re having trouble understanding or something please make sure it is a copy that no one other than you will ever read or at least have the decency to do it in pencil and erase it when you’re done. Thanks.

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College Spotlight: Sonoma State University (Rohnert Park, CA)

For those of you looking for a small school and personal attention at the cost of a California State University school, here you go. Sonoma State University is located in the heart of wine country. If you don’t know where wine country i,s well, Sonoma State is about an hour north of San Francisco. Unfortunately, BART does not go all the way up to the North Bay. However, there are plenty of opportunities for students who enjoy outdoor activities and green living. Sonoma State is a great environment for a scholar to grow and develop as a person. A supportive and open minded community is just the start of it. 

Fast Facts

+ Best. Housing. Ever. Hands down. Even kids from Yale are jealous about the housing options first year Freshman have. If you live in the Merlot apartments, you get your own kitchen, bathroom, and share a room with one other person. No triples or quads. If you’re in the Sauvignon apartments…ohooho…you get the luxury of your own private bathroom.

+ Speaking of housing, Sonoma State is one of the few and the proud to have Freshman Interest Groups. This is housing based on common interests based on areas of studies. Instant study group! 

+ Let’s Go Green! Sonoma State has a very green philosophy. If your passion is saving the enviroment, welcome home.

+ Plenty of new facilities!

+ Did we mention green? There are acres and acres of campus to explore. Right along the commencement lawn, there is a creek and a hiking trail on campus.Nature lovers unite!

+ A unique wine business program!

+ Popular Majors: Business, Psychology, Nursing, Enviromental Studies, Kinesiology, Liberal Studies

+ The dinning halls are always hiring. Gotta learn how to make that gourmet dish and make use of that kitchen in the dorms.

Students Speak

“(The best part about going to Sonoma State was) making long time friends, acting goofy…I could express myself; (my experience) surfaced the true me.” - Paul Baker (Class of 2006; Theatre Arts & Liberal Studies major)

For more information about Sonoma State University, you can visit their website.

For more information about admissions, check out this document.

Remember, the CSU and UC applications open up tomorrow (Oct 1). Don’t delay!