somt

SOMT #1

The way she figures it is
She isn’t going out of her way to hurt me or is trying in any way to do it when it is that that she is actually doing
She doesn’t realize her words hurt me
No matter how small or insignificant they may seem to her,
No matter how funny she thinks it is

She walks in on me trying to calm myself down.
Trying to erase the thoughts in my head.
The thoughts about how stupid I am
How i can’t do anything right, it seems in the eyes of anyone
And she calls it explaining herself
She says I’m moping.
Is that the correct word for trying I convince yourself not to do the very thing that will permanently label you as a “freak”?
Because it just seems that no one understands the pain is so unbearable at times
And the only way it seems to get it out is to let a crimson river flow down your arms as you take those calming breaths to try and relax.
I can’t even count the times I’ve been so close to doing just that,
But the scars I see on the arms of those like me and the way that people act when they see them makes me scared.
Scared of how people will think of me if they realized the state I was in;
If they realize that I caved in and did something like that to myself.
I’m afraid I’d be looked at in disgust and embarrassment.
Why do people do that?
Why do they act that way towards someone who’s been through so much?
You can’t say you didn’t know or didn’t realize because those scars along their skin, those battle scars they have earned through fighting is what let’s you know.
When I see someone like this, someone who has or even still is going through so much pain that they feel that cutting is a release, I feel respect towards them, I want to love them and show them that they are perfect and tell them everything will be okay.
Because it will right?
I try to tell myself that sometimes to make myself feel better
And it works a little
I just have to keep fighting.

XX

Um vestido curto não é mais bonito que esse brilho no teu olhar. Salto alto não chega aos pés do seu sorriso. Decote deixa de lado, vem com a inteligência que você vai me ganhar. 

                                                                                                .SOMT.

XIX

Geral é livre pra pensar e fazer o que quer, só quero saber o porque que se limitam a paradas fúteis que não vão mudar em porra nenhuma.

                                                                                                     .SOMT.