!!!!!!!!! For the first time like EVER I actually feel really good about my entire body !!!!!! I don’t hate me today I actually really love me and its so fucking refreshing to have this sudden positivity about something I’ve been negative about for so long
I really hope it stays, because I sure like this!

15 Tips Anyone Can Use to Conquer Shyness

How to Calm the Mind and Beat the Nerves

1. Dump your image – The very first thing you need to do (after not panicking) is to stop affirming your shyness. Stop telling yourself that you are shy or that you find gatherings awful.

If we keep telling ourselves we are this or that, we will never overcome our feeling of fear or insecurity. And feelings can be overcome.

Forget you have ever been shy.

2. Talk to yourself – Now this is not something to do in public, even in this age of hands-free phone calls.

Before entering a situation where you will talk to strangers, practice meditating on positive words.

When falling asleep or during other quiet moments, recite something positive, like “I am whole, perfect, strong and powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.”

This omits the word “shy” and helps to reinforce positive feelings of self. Remember, you are great!

3. Forget about visualisation – Contrary to popular advice, don’t visualise yourself in the situation. Keep that for job interviews.

It’s simply exhausting to picture various scenarios, discussions or people. Whether it be a social setting or a meeting at work, no conversation can ever be pre-imagined, so don’t try.

Experience life in the present moment and react to people and conversations in real time.

4. Prepare for every encounter – Keep a few conversation starters up your sleeve.

You don’t want your mind to go blank, so to avoid struggling on the spot, have a few general questions ready to pop.

Avoid controversial topics and ask about hobbies, holidays or work.

Speaking of work, if you’re going to a meeting and want to ensure that your voice is heard, prepare well and read any material associated with the agenda. Jot down your key thoughts.

5. Don’t fight your feelings –  Accept your nervousness. The more you try to resist or eliminate it, the stronger it becomes.

So accept that you will feel nervous, but that it will pass. Now you have immediately changed your relationship with your feelings.

Your nerves will diminish because you no longer fear or fight them.

How to Involve Others Even When You Don’t Want To

6. Feel for other people – Feelings of shyness or lack of self-confidence creates a focus on ourselves.

We place ourselves in the spotlight. How do I look? What do they think of me? What should I say?

Turn that spotlight around onto the people with whom you are chatting. Where are they from? Do they have any holidays planned? Are they enjoying the food? Be genuinely interested in others.

You can learn to feel for other people simply by listening to what concerns them.

7. Partner up – Occasions are less daunting when you have a friend by your side.

If you’ve been invited to an event, ask if you can bring a friend. If you’re attending a training event for work, ask another colleague to accompany you.

This will not make you immune from nerves, but having a companion will help you to settle in. Just don’t cling to him all the time.

8. Forget about trying to make friends – Don’t create a “To Do” list in your mind.

Forget about trying to make a good first impression. Forget about trying to keep a conversation going ad infinitum.

These things will come more naturally when you stop trying. Forget that you don’t know the people around you. Be assured that many others feel the same as you do.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Personal question that you don't have to ask if you don't want to but I'm planning on taking a HIV test for the first time and am kind of freaked out about it. Would you ever take one?

I believe that if you have been sexually active, you owe it to yourself and to your partners (past and present) to be tested from time-to-time. I’ve been tested before of my own accord, and I’ve also gone and been tested – with no pressure – when a girlfriend has asked me whether I’d be willing to do so. I don’t see any reason why that should be a problem for anybody when you are sharing that type of relationship with somebody else. 

There is nothing to fear. If, by some chance, you were tested and did happen to test positive for something (whether it is HIV or any other type of STD), it’s best that you understand your condition so that you can receive the treatment you require. More importantly, that’s something that your partner absolutely deserves to know if you are engaging in a sexual relationship with them. It’s downright criminal to hide that from a partner.

Get yourself tested. Do so regularly. And do it for yourself more than anything – for your physical and mental well-being. 

One Positive Thing

I’ve seen a lot of people are going through hard times lately because they’re stressed, or sad, or things aren’t working out for them at the moment. If you read this, I want you to think of one positive thing you did today. Just one.

Just one little positive thing you did today. Got it? Okay. Now hold onto that. That’s something positive you did today. It may be small and it may not be much but it’s something. It’s something that you think is positive and you did that today. Tomorrow it may be something completely different but it’ll be something. 

In the darkest of times, sometimes all we have is that tiny spark of positivity. It may be small and hard to see in the darkness at first but if we find it and we hold onto it, it can still be warm when the cold comes. 

I hope that your day is now just that little bit brighter.

anonymous asked:

I've been following your blog for quite some time and I must say that I have this big infatuation with you. See, I'm one of those discreet brothers that doesn't feel I have to let you in on who I'm dealing with and I too am not into the whole PDA myself. I have a love for women and occasionally an attraction of men. I can't help it. Never been with a guy but would love to experience that one day? Curious as to what your thoughts are on this.

First let me say, thanks for the blog support brutha! Always happy to hear that my blog makes ppl feel something positive.

secondly as it regards to the wanting to date a guy, I too struggle with the want to date a guy aspect. But the ratio for me isn’t due to the love of the ladies more so than the guys, but that the want to date a guy bs the actual amount of guys that catch my attention ratio is unbalanced. If I become interested, I’m quickly taken back by the lack of maturity or something that is normal within the community when it comes to dating a guy in whatever setting u may find yourself in.

The key (in my opinion) is finding someone you align with more than a sexual point. We as men are already seen as a hyper sexual being and in that comes a normal assumption of that a lot of guys in this type of community would rather mess around than date. Being discreet isn’t always, who I’m sleeping with, but rather the word private to the sense of who I date, sleep with, or love is of no ones concern so long as we aren’t the ones that write the novel on who were with and so on.

So for you, I challenge you to identify why it is you haven’t dated a guy yet. If it’s due to no one being interesting enough, find out what about a man interests you. And start there. Hope this helps!

😎м lowery 8807

“From where do people find time to hate, when life hardly allows time for love???” – Syaikh Zulfiqar Ahmad 💕🙏🏻
This is a question that I should ask myself too, before other people. ☺️
As time passes by, I learn that: hating is tiring, and not good for my health. 😷😷😷 But Hate comes from several smaller reasons, like jealousy, grudge, ignorance, different perspective, etc. These smaller reasons have to be treated carefully. Like, by surrounding myself with positive people or things that encourage positive ideas… Something like that. Because I believe that Hate can eat my soul, and the only one most damaged by my own negativity is myself, not others. 😓✌🏻️😓✌🏻😓💥
How about you? ☺️💕 I believe we all make mistakes, but it’s always a good idea to grow and progress to be a better person everyday! ❤️🌙❤️🌙❤️🌙

anonymous asked:

Can you do a scenario where Tanaka's crush starts ignoring him suddenly because they heard him say it turns him in when Kiyoko ignores him?

“Hey you!” Tanaka cheered as he skidded down the hallway to stop beside his crush. “I was going to eat lunch on the rooftop, if you want to come.”

Tanaka had been ecstatic with the blossoming relationship he had been developing with his crush. He just had this feeling that something was growing between them, that something positive was going to happen that day.

His crush continued to look resolutely forward, their jaw holding rigid as they glided down the hallway. Tanaka tried repeating his greeting but they merely straightened their posture as they stared cooly on.

“Listen, I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m sorry!” He offered panickedly. When he was still met with no reply he jumped out in front of them to halt their passage. “Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“Isn’t it better this way?” They asked as their voice uncharacteristically trailed off. “Aren’t you turned on?” They pushed past him and began to pump their arms as they strode down the hallway. When Tanaka was too stunned to follow they turned on him.

“It works for Kiyoko-san, doesn’t it?” Their voice breaking slightly. “Why shouldn’t I be any different?”

With that Tanaka took a deep breath and considered his words carefully. He attempted to bring his thoughts into some form of coherence but it just didn’t work. He just had these feelings and that was it. 

“I don’t know why it’s different with you- I don’t want for things to be like that with us. I want to talk to you! I want to know everything there is to know about you!”

“Really?” They whispered.

“Of course I do.” 

“On the rooftop, you said?” With that, Tanaka hesitantly snaked his hand into his crush’s grasp and began to tug slightly as he led them towards the stairwell.

anonymous asked:

I'm having the worst day of my life can you please tell me something positive or a knock knock joke or something I have no one right now

I’m really sorry first of all, I really hope things get better for you. I love you.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Pizza who?
You lil pizza shit

I mentioned Anita Sarkeesian on Twitter.

At first, the (entirely expected) response struck me as being similar to being assaulted by a many-headed dragon that could attack from all sides.

But then I realized my metaphor was wrong.
See, in actual physical combat, attacking from different sides is an effective and dangerous tactic. In debating, though… Sure, it’s tiring, but Sarkeesian’s detractors make completely opposite claims about her, and that just doesn’t work.

“She doesn’t get harassed!” (yeah, real believable when all I had to do to summon you was say something mildly positive about her) juxtaposed with “What did she expect picking a fight with gamers!?” (and prior to her current series about video games she was totally picking a fight with movies; that’s how commentary works!)

“She hasn’t even made all the videos!” and “Her critiques are poorly made and full of lies!”

“She just hates male gamers!” and “She takes her marching orders from *gasp* a MAN!”

“Nobody cares about her!” and “She’s going to destroy all of gaming because developers are yielding to her every whim!”

“There is no sexism in games!” and “Sexism is such an intrinsic part of video games that without it we refuse to play them!” (Maybe not a direct quote… I employed my high-level Reading Comprehension ranks)

“It’s about ethics in gaming journalism! We don’t care about Anita!” (…why are you even talking at me then? I didn’t even mention…) and “Go download my detailed, totally objective and neutral, debunking all of the Tropes Vs. Women videos here” (okay, that was actually the same guy)
(His totally neutral critiques include that she didn’t mention specific details that didn’t contradict her points and that she used the word “cool,” which is an opinion which is apparently terrible)

Bonus points: Sarkeesian is hated because of her response to people who “simply disagreed” with her. First of all, I witnessed that “simple disagreement.” Secondly, you hate her because of how you reacted to you hating her.

Anyway, I get nervous even mentioning her. Because I anticipate this, and I don’t really wanna deal with it.

And then I think about Sarkeesian herself.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m very glad that she exists, but I’m really glad I’m not her. I couldn’t do it. I don’t know how she does it.

Even if I wasn’t already impressed by her work itself, I would be in awe of her.

Nash’s response to the incredibly offensive vine he made about gay people. “THE BLOG
Here’s the Full Story About the Vine I Made
Nash Grier
Posted: 12/15/14 01:15 PM ET Updated: 02/14/15 05:59 AM ET
As humans we’re going to make mistakes. It’s what makes us human, and most of the time, the most effective way of learning is from a mistake. I, Nash Grier, have made more mistakes than I can remember. Some big, some small, some nobody has seen, and some millions of people have seen. But ever since I was young, my parents told me to use these mistakes and make them into something positive.

In April of 2013, I made some of the best and worst decisions of my life. As a kid that just turned 15 in my freshman year of high school, I was in a weird place. I went to a small private school in North Carolina with maybe 200 kids. It was very different from your typical high school experience that you see in movies and on television. Social standards were tough. You were in or you were out. For most of my freshman year up until the spring, I was out. I didn’t play any sports; I took AP classes with 10 kids in a class, and lived a very excluded and lonely life.

Later that spring, a trend went around school – a new form of social media: Vine. Everyone was downloading it and making six-second clips in school, usually making fun of a teacher or doing something reckless. I saw an opportunity. Over time, I began to experiment and make my own videos. At first, they were just inside jokes with the little friends I had, but after a while, more of my classmates started to take notice of them. I finally felt accepted. It got to a point where I conformed and did what everyone else wanted on Vine. This is where the mistakes were made.

I had almost 1,200 followers on Vine and I posted six-second video on HIV/AIDS, using a very offensive term (“fag”). The next day, I went to school and I received so many responses as to how funny the video was. At this point, what I thought I had done wasn’t just okay, but I thought it was funny. As a kid that just turned 15 from a private school, I was very sheltered from the real world. I didn’t know the meaning behind what I was saying when I made the video. I didn’t know the people I was hurting.

As time went on, my audience began to grow. About a month later after posting the video (and many more), I had almost 2,500 followers. At that time I began to get some significant feedback from people that weren’t just in my high school. I looked through my videos and saw hundreds of negative comments on the one I had posted bashing on HIV/AIDS and the gay community. At first, I didn’t really understand how someone could have so much hate for me, but then I put myself in their shoes. I read more and more comments and even did research. I had a realization that I hadn’t had in my life up until that point: Everything I had said on or off camera could’ve been harmful to others.

I immediately deleted the video and changed my outlook on everything I had ever said and/or posted. A few days later, I completely deactivated all of my social media channels, mainly because I knew I had done something very evil, and partially because I also thought social media was a waste of time.

Towards the end of summer 2013 when school ended, I decided to re-download all of my social media channels and make videos again. The next day I woke up and had 9,000 followers. I did the same thing the next day and woke up with 54,000 followers. Next thing I know, I was making appearances on Good Morning America, traveling the country and gaining millions of followers across all of my social media accounts. It had literally been in a year’s span that my “rise to fame” had happened. Things didn’t slow down. Next thing you know, I made a career out of it. I began signing contracts and sitting in business meetings, consulting managers and traveling the world. I had some of the fastest growing social media accounts in history, capturing the attention of 25 million total followers.

Being on the top of my game, I had a bull’s-eye on my head. Someone had the video I posted a year and a half ago on their phone and decided to re-post it. The video went viral. People thought the video was new, when in reality, it wasn’t. I made two public apologies, but I was extremely crushed at this point. I had already understood the issue and to this day, regret it more than anything I have ever done. I began getting death threats, was called “homophobic” and a “hate monger,” when in reality, it was the farthest thing from true. One of my first big YouTube videos was with four of my good friends at the time – most of them gay. Many of my early Vines and collaborations were with gay people. I never once had a problem with someone’s sexuality or sexual preference. If there is one thing I stand for in life, it is do whatever makes you happy. I have and never will be against same-sex relationships or marriages. I can’t stress to you enough how far off the title “homophobic” is from my actual personality. I realize that I made a mistake. At the time I didn’t, but I have learned from it.

At the time, I was just a normal kid. I had 1,000 followers and I was the farthest thing from a role model and the person I consider myself to be today. From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry to each and every person I have ever offended.

And don’t think for a second this is just something to save my ass in the business world. This is me, no publicist, no one telling me what to do. I accept you, and you get the same respect from me whether you are black, white, gay straight, Asian, bisexual, Australian, tall, fat, WHATEVER it is. We are all people, and I look at the people of the world the same way, as my brothers and sisters. And someday, I want to make a positive impact on all of you.“

I know people will still hate him and find fault in his apology but I personally can see this kid is maturing and is starting to become more aware of his actions. I also know people may accept his apology but still not like him as a person and that’s fine, but this whole “he is a homophobe” thing is over due. He can’t go back and change what he said but he sure as hell is doing what he can to make up for his actions. So take note of his apology of a vine he made 2 years ago and realize he is truly sorry for his actions. And wether you believe him or not, calling him trash and saying he’s a homophobe doesn’t make you any better.


Please click the pictures for the full detail! I had to do a lot to split these all up so please click on em!! The last image is the full picture.

Here it is, the final project!! I’m posting it here first before I email it to Michelle. Your urls will be included so you get recognition.

I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who participated! Around 40 people contributed and I cannot tell you how happy I am with the result. I know the community is never at rest so I really hope this can help clean up the tags or something positive. Again, thank you to everyone who joined in!!!

So, I’ve spent the last week rereading Something*Positive. I probably won’t finish until tomorrow or Monday. It’s kinda ridiculous, honestly, but it’s a good comic, that’s been going on for ten years. Holy hell, is what I have to say here.

Anyways, I fully intend to memorize this punchline and use it on some sweet thing sometime. This is more than you needed to know about me, but let’s be honest here –what is Tumblr for, if not too much information?

Something positive for the tag!

Anders had a secret confession that he could never quite bring himself to tell Hawke. He adored sleeping with them in the same bed. Well of course he did, but that wasn’t quite the confession. It was easy to admit loving their arms wrapped around him, holding him close, finding solace and security in Hawke.

But you see… Anders missed having a cat, specifically having Pounce around. That noble beast had been his dearest friend, a constant comfort, especially at night. Anders could remember curling up to sleep, the orange tabby pressed against his body while it rumbled with a lovingly content purr all night long. But this wasn’t exactly the confession either.

No, it was that Anders found himself oddly smitten with the fact that Hawke snored. When they leaned too far back on the pillows, or their head lolled at just the right angle, this soft little snore would start up and never cease till morning. Anders could still remember the night he thought it, that the sound almost reminded him of Pounce’s purring.

Now till this very day, whenever Hawke’s snoring started up, it never failed to bring a smile to his lips. Sometimes Anders couldn’t help but snort in amusement at both Hawke and his own thoughts of a giant slumbering cat in their bed. He would lean in to kiss their forehead and brush away messy bangs lovingly. Anders loved to lie against Hawke, ear pressed to their chest and just enjoying the comfort of a constant reminder that Hawke was there.

Maybe it was silly, or even ridiculous, but Anders still adored this silent confession he kept all to himself.