when my brother was 12 he ordered lasagna in a restaurant but the meal he got was much too large for him so he started crying because he couldn’t finish it and let me tell you i’ve only seen my brother cry 2 times in my life and the other time was at my grandad’s funeral

in german we don’t say ‘i love you’ we say ‘ich töte dich und deine familie und brenne dein haus ab’ which means ‘i couldn’t live without you like the bee that couldn’t live without the flower’ and i think that’s beautiful

  • me:lol i've seen an entire season of my tv show last night
  • non-tumblr people:ew what go away you antisocial idiot what is wrong with you
  • tumblr people:OMG SO JEALOUS I WISH I HAD THE TIME WHAT YOU ARE PERFECT

when i say “i go to bed” i mean “i’m gonna go to tumblr for the next 2 hours, then brush my teeth, go to tumblr for another hour, watch 1 season of a tv show, my favourite movie for the 2253473 time, check out 5 new bands, stare at pictures of british actors for hours and read 10 books and then i go to sleep”

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