Anon, welcome to the wonderful world of having adopted Male Privilege. See, the statement you made about us having it “just as hard” as trans women is a statement coming from a place of privilege. You don’t know how difficult it is for trans women to transition, so don’t make grand statements to the contrary. Stating something as a fact does not make it so.
To explain where your statement goes astray, let me paint a picture: as we grow up and evolve and learn and shape ourselves based on the world around us, we are bombarded constantly with how things are “supposed to be.” Trans men are no stranger to that. We are read fairytales in which a weak, helpless woman in distress is rescued from a dragon/tower/evil scientist/evil stepmother/whatever by some dude, be it a warrior prince or a knight in shiny white armor or an adventurer or whatever. The end result of every one of those stories is the same: kids learn from a young age that women are inferior to men, that they need protection and guidance and the safety of a man. That’s just the beginning. You throw in TV dramas and giant billboard advertisements with airbrushed supermodels and see-through lingerie, teen magazines and news stories, and you’ll find the same underlying message of sexism (real sexism, not the kind you claim I harbor toward my brothers) and misogyny.
So while you grew up thinking “I’m a man,” and being constantly told from birth how men have it better, are stronger, smarter, more capable of going into the maths and sciences and law enforcement and the medical field and manual labor and literally any other field you can think of (except those “lesser” fields like housekeeping, nursing, teaching…. Those fields deemed “appropriate” for women and simultaneously made to be seen as inferior professions), trans women were bombarded with the “suck it up and be a man” mentality. They were told that being feminine and displaying any non-masculine characteristics was considered less-than, that it’s a privilege to be a man, and why would you ever want to lower your standing to that of a woman when you have the power and privilege of being male?
I’m not saying the struggle to transition lies with trans women alone. We all struggle, every one of our journeys is different and difficult and strenuous. I’m saying that, regardless of race, ethnicity, disability, age, creed, religion, etc., trans women have had to claw through layers of misogyny to even be able to get to a place where they could come out openly, whereas trans men are climbing the proverbial patriarchal hierarchy and end up sitting on a pretty male-privilege pedestal at the end.
*please keep in mind that this doesn’t even scratch the surface of this topic. And I would be remiss if I did not at least add that trans women of color have it harder than anyone else in the trans community (please feel free to argue with me, I have so many statistics to back that up it is literally not funny), and the more intersectional points of oppression an individual has in their life, the harder their struggle is going to be